What a wild week. A cataclysmic wipeout.
And man screws with time. Again. Goodbye, DST. Or is it hello?
The wipeout began Saturday, with GA mashing FLA, ‘featuring’ the brats I prepared for the event. The talk of the party…
With a dominant sequel in Oxford.
The wipeout continued Monday night, when while turning in my sleep, I felt a pop in my left knee, leading to conjecture over whether it was the gout, or just an Old Man Injury.
As an aside, in prep for the new political reality, I now call it an Old Person Injury. While apologizing for my whiteness. And maleness. And baldness.
My knee was a mess, but the pain subsided by Friday, and was still better than those weird night-time leg pains or charley horses. Or phantom hair pain.
Still capable of my morning walk; the occasional hopping a great conversation starter.
Bringing back ‘great’ memories of the gout, which I suffered from for 20 or so years.
A very odd affliction, the gout, the cause excessive uric acid – always wishing it sounded more life threatening. The first flareup in one’s big toe: Hot to the touch!
Later, settling in my knee, a religious experience, giving My Captor the opportunity to opine the cause was too much beer.
Her cause for whatever ails me was, and remains, anything that gives me pleasure.
And is there really too much beer?
In the case of acne, she might have been right. And maybe in the case of gout – generally flaring after a week-long meeting, with evenings of beer and fine dining. But no sardines, which were once thought to be a cause, leading to it being called ‘Rich Man’s Disease’.
So, in the new political world, great if billionaires get it.
But pain an odd thing, it being God’s way of reminding us we’re alive – be grateful!
He even made pain suffering ritualistic: Giving women menstruation as a monthly reminder, giving men women.
But ‘Older People’ lack regular pain, so God added Old People Injuries. Those weird pains popping up without warning. Or explanation.
And weird liver spots, or ‘blood things’ – I’ve just developed 2 while typing – which are technically cherry angiomas or senile/actinic purpura, so I’ll stick with ‘blood things’.
And while I understand being old is much better than being dead, there are days that make you wonder.
Of late, I get small cuts from taking cans out of the 12-pack – My Captor finally proven correct: Beer the cause! Imagine the carnage from a 24-pack!
One benefit of the midterms, the end of political advertising. Leading to the resumption of medical treatment ads.
I wonder if Kids Today (Shakes Fist Angrily – it’s been a few weeks, need to keep in practice) ever see Old People Medical Ads, since they’re always Streaming (makes air quotes), with just gambling commercials.
In the Old People Hour: Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy, there are LOTS of medical ads; based on the described side effects I’m afraid to even go near the COPD aisle. DEATH lurks!
Odd injuries/afflictions part of Old People Social Lives. The vaguer the injury the better the crowd reaction, so my knee should be an Organ Recital favorite. Good times!
The other Old Person Thing, fatigue: Almost 40% of our conversations include “I’m so tired”.
Fortunately, there are times we forget being tired – actually, forget everything. What was I writing?
But with age, comes wisdom. Allegedly.
I’ve learned pain the price of being alive: I’ll take that deal!
And remember I’m lucky to just be in pain. Someone always has it worse …
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC/READING’:
New Hayden album out now, what I’ve heard is good. A very unique sound, and I’m a fan. Oddly, not yet on Spotify.
And Love Is Not Enough still available on Amazon. What a great read for anyone who has dealt with mental health or addiction issues. Or just wants to read about family love and recovery. And a great way to find out who Danny really was. Buy a copy for a friend.