There’s more to Home-aha than the Nifty…
The crowning event of our weekend was the Saturday wedding of my nephew’s daughter and her fiancée, the family turning out in droves.
Weddings are right-side-up funerals: Both are essentially family reunions, plenty of laughs and tears throughout, but everyone shows up!
Paraphrasing one of my mother’s favorite Irish jokes: One more drunk!
Having done both recently, I prefer weddings.
My wedding super-power, setting up near the server’s entrance, scamming as many of the good appetizers as possible.
My Captor’s is early cake access.
A wedding favorite the father of the bride (FOB) speech.
Done correctly, providing laughs and tears, the best ones ending with a memorable soundbite or encouraging thought.
My nephew Mike delivered.
But only after the matron of honor and best man speeches, also delivering laughs and tears; both very well done.
While the FOB speech is almost always at the reception – a few moments of glory for the guy stroking the checks – other speech timings flexible. Some weddings have gobs of friends and relatives speechifying at the rehearsal dinner; but the FOB speech should be at the reception.
As an aside, Kids today! (shakes fist angrily, but gently – remaining in a wedding frame of mind) always read their speeches from their phones, so there’s that. Separately, I’m working on legislation to require the FOB speech at the reception, as well as IPA on tap everywhere.
But in an early marriage ‘lesson’, the timing likely the bride’s decision.
And much like funerals, the number of speakers increasing over time. Particularly if the speechifying is part of the rehearsal dinner.
Mike’s FOB speech touched all the ‘daughter’ spots, the most poignant their 10-year weekly mac & cheese prep, employing a wide variety of recipes, sourced everywhere from family members to bus shelters. My Captor’s contributed recipe, the base for the version prepared the Sunday before the ceremony – bacon making everything better.
His speech fit the traditional script: Daughter, mother, daughter, love, family events, love, daughter – all the highlights – before it rocked on to the big finish.
Which was: Mike holding their first grandchild, his now son-in-law saying “Come on, share the baby love”; Mike ending with “I can’t wait to steal your baby love!”
But the biggest emotional wallop: In lieu of the ‘Bouquet Toss’, the bride presenting her mother the bridal bouquet, recognizing her as the “most important person in my life” – which only she and her husband knew would happen. Yowzer.
From there it turned ‘traditional’, oldsters watching youngsters dance, eventually back to the hotel.
A fun, beautiful wedding.
But like any family gathering, re-learning the price of memory is sorrow, while lionizing a lot of departed family members over a beer. Or two.
Omaha felt like the right place for that, given my mother’s Irish fascination with and love for her departed family members:
You can’t stop me even if you’ve heard this before, but her recounting of her dad and brother coming back to tell her they were OK, oddly never creeping me out. My brother adding she apparently had ‘regular’ conversations with her father, PJ.
So we talked about all that and looked at old pictures, full of people I didn’t recognize.
A bonus: Breakfast with my brother Dan’s – who I did recognize in the old photos -fiancée; catching up on our lives, hers fortunately going very well. A gift from God.
A serious bummer: Learning a nephew had an aggressive leukemia, a ‘gift’ from military service, added to our prayer lists.
Ultimately, a true family reunion: Happiness and sorrow dancing in unison, alternating the lead…
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC/READING’:
Andy Shauf is a Canadian songwriter worth checking out. And to anyone living in Omaha or Des Moines- hint, hint – the Ratboys will be live this Tuesday and Wednesday (respectively). Jesse Welles the opener.
Love Is Not Enough still available on Amazon. What a great read for anyone who has dealt with mental health or addiction issues. Or just wants to read about family love and recovery.