Mother’s Day’s always been a ‘hot gift-potato’: Should or shouldn’t I buy a gift for the mother of our children?
Or in today’s speak: The children we share…
Beginning with a confession: I’m not very good at Mother’s Day gifting.
For My Captor or my own mother.
I don’t know if that’s why My Captor travelled for Mothers Daying with friends for 3-4 years – Who needs children to celebrate Mother’s Day? but I’m sure it was a contributor.
Or non-contributor, if you study my gifts.
With my mother, it was youthful carelessness/ignorance – should have known my hand tracing drawings weren’t that great an idea when I was 30 – but she a forgiving woman. But she did love the 30 free hugs! And the ‘task’ stickers, where I’d perform a requested task. Reminding me I still have a side of the house to paint.
A big part of it sex: Men dizzied by so many things, but gift giving perhaps the most dizzying.
All made more apparent by Our Partner’s traits.
A little known Mother’s Day secret: The Masters the 2nd Sunday in May until the Mother’s Gift Rebellion of 1955, when mothers – and Macy’s- forced a tournament move to April, over the lack of Mother’s Day attention.
The first gift-giving hurdle, leaving your chair and going shopping – but Amazon the solution to inertia.
Mothers always looking for a reason to get out of the house, “Watch the kids!”
I watched, they weren’t very amusing…
The second hurdle: Planning ahead. For a lot of male readers, this might be your first notice today is Mother’s Day. For late purchasers, the classic “Your gift should be here Monday”, then blaming the USPS for the ‘delay’.
But for a guy who no longer remembers what he went in the kitchen for, maybe to check my phone? I can’t help with planning ahead.
My Captor already has next year’s Father’s Day gift! And the next! If it doesn’t fit, you can return it!
The third hurdle: Knowing what your wife really wants – and hasn’t already bought.
My Captor enjoys shopping, I don’t. A Great Divide.
A spa day? The chance to see me naked doesn’t seem to have the same appeal.
My Captor buys me IPAs for Father’s Day. Add fried chicken, you got a holiday!
The fourth hurdle: Children.
The ‘Reasons for the Season’ complicate things.
When they were little, I was on point/accountable. ‘Fun’ homemade gifts, a 3 year-old’s hand tracing drawings great. So talented! But a little something extra made the day better…
As they aged, giving way to the need to find ‘real’ gifts. I’ve recounted My Captor’s 29th birthday when all we found was a bamboo steamer.
She may have hated it. But she never saw it, it never leaving the box. But leaving a lesson – and a mark – I will never do that again.
Then they hit the Accountability Age, on them to recognize and reward. Breath held until they came through. Or didn’t.
Later, when grown, holding my breath until calling their mother; in the best years sending a gift.
The fifth hurdle: My Captor ain’t my mother.
At times she seems like my mother: House maintenance, meal prep, solving problems I didn’t even know I had, but she’s not my mom.
While My Captor is earth mother. Do you need a mother?
But we’re looking good this year, gifts already arriving, inevitable loving Sunday phone calls.
And I’ve made a run for Gerber daisies, Danny’s Mother’s Day annual.
Hopefully not needing my ‘older excuse’: I forgot to get a Mother’s Day gift … early dementia!
Happy Mother’s Day!
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER READING’:
I’ll add a Ray Wylie Hubbard (Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother) line I was reminded of last week as part of the ‘Lucky’ reaction: “A day my gratitude is greater than my expectations, is a good day!” Appreciate your mother today, whether she’s still with us or not. Thanks for everything Mom!
Courtney Barnett has a new album out. It’s good.
LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH available on Amazon. Reaction very positive – if you haven’t bought it, please do. If you have, send a copy to a friend who’s had past experience with mental health issues, addiction, or family love and healing.
An Amazon review a nice move too.