How will you be remembered?
A weird Old Guy’s mortality fear, a thought occurring to me after seeing each of our 7 grandchildren the past couple of weeks.
The time reminding of one of my favorite thoughts: If I’d known being a grandparent was this much fun, I would have never had children.
As proof, with other grandparents the GransRecital moves ahead of the Organ Recital – they’ll have to wait to hear about my hip.
Which can be a bit confusing when you’re with non-grandparents – what photos do they have on their phones?
But if your family doesn’t know who you are/were – doesn’t know/remember you correctly – who will?
Hopefully able to overcome a frustrating parental condition, the occasional ‘Kid Crime’ – the things you didn’t do, or did do that went haywire – frequently voiced after a couple of beers.
With grandkids, you’ve got a clean slate, the chance to get it right this time.
We are Queenie and PA, and I believe we’ve left a favorable wake.
I know Queenie has.
But how would others evaluate you – what would their opinion be?
It may sound trivial, but it begins with Kindness; it’s so much easier to be nice to people.
The people in the Outer Acquaintance Circle, those you see at the store or walking on the beach, hopefully have a positive memory.
I know my fellow beach walkers think of me as that “vaguely friendly guy” who waves or flips the occasional peace sign; I’m trying to bring back saying hello to strangers – a non-response flagging a visitor from New York.
Hopefully our friends would give us a 5-star rating on the ‘friend review card’, but there are different degrees of friends.
Weather talk perhaps the best divider: A fit conversation topic for those you don’t know well, or know very well. Either a rhetorical or serious topic…
But, Man it’s hot! Working with either group.
There are those you know socially, but not that well. Up for a brief conversation, but not too personal.
This group a contributor to my Reunion Phobia; they only knew the moron I was in college, so each reunion an effort to ‘un-moron’ myself. By the 50th, no one cared anymore, and we didn’t remember much anyway.
But there are good friends to whom How are you? is not a rhetorical question.
The ones you can count on one hand, and have fingers left over.
We saw some of them this week, here for their annual SSI vacation with their 2 children and 10 grandchildren – a real GrandBrood – and they immediately called out Queenie as the Rice Krispie Lady, she having brought them last year, too.
I was known as the guy who carried the Krispies, and did the dishes, so there’s that…
She’s also widely known as the Cookie Lady, arriving at most events with a platter full, a moniker that will live in her remembrances.
For better or worse, your family know you best.
Which is a weird thing about family and aging: We’re under the microscope, as they assess our physical and mental health.
I believe we passed – maybe a B or B+ – but I wasn’t privy to their whispered reviews.
Our past two years, our entire family, learning (Re-learning? Reminded of?) the importance of family.
Our lesson: After losing someone, you remember the moments you spent together – both good and bad.
With time, the good overtaking the bad. But if you’re lucky – as we were – family pulling you through.
Ultimately, the unforgiving part of reviews? They’ll be based on what you did, not what you said.
Act wisely…
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC/READING’:
Matt Berninger of the National has a solo release “Martini Me, Fatso”, which is fun. Maybe another solo release on the way? I did learn that Neil Armstrong taught him to play pool.
Love Is Not Enough still available on Amazon. What a great read for anyone who has dealt with mental health or addiction issues. Or just wants to read about family love and recovery.