YOUR FRIEND: THE INTERNET!

The internet is swell.

And even though 99.3% of the searches are dedicated to gambling, adult content, or “What do the American Pie lyrics really mean?”, it has made the world a better place.

And access so easy now – remember the hard work of the old dial-up days, when a teen daughter’s frantic call about her homecoming date would knock you off your 2^nd phone line moments before learning what “The Jester sang for the king and queen” meant? (kids, ask your parents).

And today, having: Search Engines at our fingertips makes one feel powerful.

Google Chrome, my preferred engine…

Well, certainly more than Bing or Yahoo. Not quite sure about Duck, Duck, Go though.

Each streaming service feeling like a helpful – or weirdly creepy – friend.

Google.com a trusted email source – how odd to see an aol.com or bellsouth.net address? And so helpful, always offering to sign me in to other apps through my Google account.

And helpfully offering to remember the complicated password(s) they develop – which oddly are all the same.

But I’m in crisis – almost out of storage space – though only 99 cents to repair the possible outage. Thanks!

Perhaps their greatest innovation, time-saving auto replies: Thanks! Happy to! How’s your storage? – or their ‘nudges’, after a tactful 5 day waiting period.

Even better: Since they already have my personal info – what could go wrong with that? – YouTube TV sign-in a breeze.

But I own a Microsoft computer, still Windows 10, so a foot in Ludditeville. I also have a foot in Yahoo, the search engine they keep hanging me with, which is WAY sub-optimal.

I’d finally figured out which extensive series of commands allowed me to make Chrome my default browser, converting from the dreaded Bing, leaving it to the 7 users in Ohio.

A big cheer for the executive order mandating making the default change option mandatory.

And an even bigger cheer Microsoft not a big Trump donor, or Bing might be the nation’s search engine…

But something recently happened, Yahoo now my default search engine. No matter how many fists I shake angrily!

Anything searched comes up as the 5^th ‘Yahoo’, the first 4 ‘oddly’ competitors. Even typing in a web address leading to disappointment… recently being offered the chance to meet dominant women asking about ‘authoritarian takeover’…

And their AI offering rarely displaying a pertinent result – but offered multiple credit card offers!

Oddly, I’ve just googled – er, Yahooed – Yahoo HQ and got a direct answer, Sunnyvale CA. Upon a further Yahoo, I’ve learned Tony the Tiger head of their finance committee, and Elsa an HR consultant.  

I grumble about Yahoo frequently enough, I’ve now labeled it Old Man Rant #748, saving time and My Captor’s patience. I’d shake my fist angrily!, but the other 4 options Yahoo offered were better, and happier!

Lost in all this is TikTok, which I’ve never signed up for out of concern for my personal info, my disdain for moo shoo pork, and that I don’t look good dancing.  

And don’t get me started on Amazon’s Alexa – none of what she says about me is true!

Do I even need to worry about my personal info? I’m 20 years too late, Siri ran off with my Iphone, who knows?

Duck, Duck, Go might be my last and best hope.

It may take me a while to figure that out: After Yahooing DD,G, the first 4 entries appeared more interesting – and money saving!

But other Yahoos were about the White House ballroom, the commenters ripping each other to personal shreds – the unfortunate, new purpose of the internet.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

New artist: Daniel James McFayden, a Canadian folk singer. Check out Back to the Country.

And I have a new book out:

QUEENIE AND PA: ADVENTURES IN GRANDPARENTING… And Other Topics

Available on Amazon! Order today, laughing by Tuesday! Only 1.8 cents per laugh!