I fought the law and the law won.
No surprise there – there’s like a zillion laws, new ones every day.
But so many laws and court decisions are senseless:
The Supreme Court recently overturning the Constitutional Right to the McRib, allowing McDonalds to treat it as a temporary menu item.
And quit messing with marriage – my uncle and his horse deeply in love, not caring if their marriage is ‘legal’. The other kids taunting my cousin Cletus as born out of fetlock and illegitimate, but at least the class learned a 5 syllable word!
The states aren’t much better:
A friend doing 6 months prison time in Montana for claiming to be 6’ on his driver license. He’s actually 6’3” – he’s always selling himself short… (See what I did there?)
The NY superior court ruling there’s no right to a fair trial for Americans with really bad spray tans and nasty combovers.
And South Carolina might be the worst:
Why is a passport required to enter from Georgia?
Why can’t I ask the clerk if his Gamecock bites?
And worst, Charlotte is “infringing on the state border” and ordered to be set back 10 miles.
But the ‘right’ laws are essential to keep society from descending into chaos, to keep us from acting like Congressmen.
Every American needs a civics reminder: Jury duty an orientation to the legal system, a truly educational experience.
I’ve served on a jury, was elected foreman, because I “took notes”.
Quickly learning the only people who serve on juries are those who aren’t clever or connected enough to get out of it – which should make a ‘jury of your peers’ a frightening prospect.
I also learned there are bad lawyers, logical given there are now more attorneys than laws – he didn’t request legal fees, so we couldn’t award – but he knew a doctor who could see what x-rays can’t.
But truly focused on “fighting for justice”, giving an impassioned speech on the plaintiff’s reckless willingness to teach evolution…-
I later was called for jury consideration on the Ahmaud Arbery trial, which promised to be a controversial – and lengthy – trial.
And while I love sequestering as much as the next guy – my favorite part of COVID – I needed to go renew my passport for our Columbia, SC trip – and couldn’t serve.
My brief ‘fitness to serve’ interview allowing Old Man Rants: ‘Fear your government!”, “I’m not fit, I must acquit!” and “Fear those who teach evolution”!
It kept me from being selected, but there’s been a squad car in front of our house since.
But actually going to court the ultimate orientation.
Our AAMCO was recently sued by an unhappy customer – hey, cars catch fire all the time – and the case was scheduled for Magistrate Court, a $2 word for Small Claims Court.
It begins with a sheriff knocking at the door – he finally got out of the car – to serve the subpoena, which is doubly nerve wracking: Sheriffs don’t knock very often, and was Private Ryan dead?
The trial held this week – I don’t want to say there are too many injury lawyers, but everyone in court was wearing a neck brace. Even the judge.
The judge begged us to mediate – I’m guessing my impassioned opening statement had the ‘system on edge’.
Later, neither of us totally happy with our mediated settlement, which I guess is why they call it compromise.
Compromise: How society behaved before we were overwhelmed by laws and lawyers.
Reminding justice is blind, but it’s fee will be a third of the settlement.
For 223 more posts like this –each with a wish for compromise– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.
And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.
TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
The “Weakerthans” were a Canadian rock band from ’97-2014, and a listening favorite for post writing. Based in Winnipeg, John Sampson their lead. Their sound is akin to The Shins or Death Cab – thoughtful rock (e.g. “I rely too heavily on alcohol and irony”). Sampson remains active and recently released an album accompanied by his wife.
I’ve added ‘Aside’ ‘Left and Leaving’ ‘A new name for everything’ ‘One Great City (I hate Winnipeg)’ and ‘Sun in an empty room’ to the BATN playlist.