Memorial Day weekend. Time to honor those who who’ve gone before: Dearly departed family and friends, as well as those who’ve made the ‘ultimate sacrifice’ for our country.
So, on the occasion of the 3rd ‘Deathiversary’ of our friend David Blackshear, I hope this reprint helps you remember your own dearly departed.
I wish we’d known you sooner.
We’ve lost a great friend, and we’ll miss him terribly.
But he was 96, ready to reunite with his family, so while saddened, happy for him.
His a life whose full potential had been realized, as opposed to the tragic alternative.
We connected through his older brother Perry, our beach neighbor. As they reached their 90’s (great genes), they resolved to spend as much of their remaining time together as possible. Their solution: a 6P nightly get together, coined www.whynot. A standing invitation to anyone interested, with appetizers, red wine and lively conversation provided.
The conversation moved wherever the attendees took it, even the “Big Issues”: World Peace, paper or plastic, Belt v. Suspenders. They were enthusiastic teachers about Big Band Music: Perry a Tommy Dorsey fan, David Artie Shaw.
Perry an Engineering professor, quiet and reflective, David a sales executive, quick with a joke – – both made you feel you were a close friend.
After Perry died, the whynot tradition continued weekly, even during the pandemic – outside on David’s deck, appropriately distanced. It preserved our lockdown sanity to have something to look forward to.
Amazing what you learn from listening.
David had run a dental supply company, been the front man for the Atlanta Seventeen, a big band comprised of business professionals, playing weekend gigs, fee donated to charity. Navigated bombers in the WW2 Pacific theatre. Had lost 2 adult children and his wife, a fact delivered without a trace of bitterness.
Sharing his life details in fascinating dollops, all wrapped in a wickedly funny style – – remaining lightningly quick-witted until the end.
Perhaps my favorite David anecdote, a live music memory: He’d seen Benny Goodman – casually adding the opening act a disheveled teenager named Barbra Streisand. Top that…
And he loved My Captor. Part her baked goods (lemon!), part her calling him “Spencer” for his resemblance to Spencer Tracy (his glasses, I believe), part their mutual trait of smiling – no reason necessary.
The ‘greatest generation’ just went and did. No mission statements, just one foot in front of the other.
His approach to life: ”Do better every day. And don’t put things off!”
To people: “Between friendships or business, always choose friendships. They’re much harder to replace.”
I described him as a ‘salesman’, but he was truly a humanitarian: Constantly reminding to see life’s possibilities, be optimistic… and have fun!
As we toast his life – and his impact on ours – it’s clear people are placed in our lives for a reason. The reason not always apparent, so best pay attention.
It’s a blessing to have a distinct, happy memory of our last time with a loved one.
We stopped to bring baked goods (lemon!), and a whynot broke out – we had a beer and a great chat. A final gift…
At Perry’s memorial service, David described him as “the most Christ -like person I’ve ever known”. Upon further reflection, I believe it was a tie.
We were blessed knowing it was the last time we’d see David, and to say our farewells.
But as life constantly reminds us, you never know what’s next.
Take nothing – and no one – for granted.
If you have a loved one you haven’t told I love you lately, say it now. Always say it now…
For 229 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on what’s next– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.
And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:
Today is BIG BAND SUNDAY! Choose a Big Band Channel on your streaming service and enjoy… Timeless classics that will transport you to long ago.
And if you’re a fan of this era, and haven’t seen Woody Allen’s Radio Days, a worthwhile watch.
I’ve added ‘Frenesi’ Artie Shaw (David’s favorite Big Band) ‘Make Someone Happy’ Jimmy Durante (a favorite song) ‘Stardust’ Nat King Cole ‘Moonlight Serenade’ ‘In The Mood” Glenn Miller ‘Sing, Sing, Sing’ Benny Goodman (the Carnegie Hall live version) and ‘Dweller on the Threshold’ Van Morrison to the BATN playlist
And finally, a quote from He-Man:
“Don’t say goodbye, say good journey,
For every doorway is but a destination to another”
Nice memories.