WE’LL LEAVE THE LIGHT ON!

House guests. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

Hosting. Great until its not: Having a blast with a houseful, but once they’re gone, sitting, staring into space, repeating “I can’t believe how quiet it is…”

But reminding of ‘The ‘Law of Guest Physics’: After urging guests “stay longer”, relieved to see their car pull away.

Corollary to ‘The Guest Time Continuum’: Amazing how different 11P can feel: Some guests leave too late, some too early.   

Not sure where we fit on that continuum. Once invited for dinner to meet a friend’s newborn, at 8P the husband said to the baby “These people must be getting tired”, so perhaps I overestimate my 11P charm.

There’s an art to being the type of guest that gets invited back – but also an art to being a host whose guests want to return.

My Captor and I eagerly anticipating company – some more eagerly than others.

The most common reaction we get from departing guests is how relaxing their visit was – we believe the product of successful hosting preparation.

And having the beach to walk and laze on helps as well.                                                      

But guest prep requires an enormous amount of work, which the hosted may not always notice… it takes a lot of effort not to let the effort show.

My Captor and I dividing prep duties:

My Captor buying groceries, planning meals, making beds, cleaning the house, preparing breakfast items, converting Fahrenheit to Celsius, desalinating water– the easy stuff – me making a beer run. And blowing off the deck, more complicated than it appears.

I recently had a proud moment when she said “I couldn’t have done this without you”, but I think she meant having the children.

But when it’s hosting go-time we each know our role.

My Captor handling meal prep, which can be tricky: Each group of guests with their favored restaurants, so not always sure when or where – home or out – the next meal will be.

There’s a batch of chowder that has been thawed and refrozen monthly, since 2021.

But we agree lunch out is preferable, and the Ambien IPAs are great for an afternoon nap.      

I handle donut runs, prepare the air fried hot dogs for beach lunches, dishwasher emptying – a morning tradition – and proper suntan lotioning encouragement, because the only thing worse than a sunburned child is living with a sunburned child.     

And moderate “Spotify Roulette’, guests alternating Spotify requests -anything they want to hear, no judgment – even Taylor. Her breakup songs always break me up…

But the most important part of a relaxing visit is nothing.

Allowing the hosted to do whatever they want – or nothing at all.

Beginning with morning coffee – my most critical task, ensuring coffee’s available – the best part of waking up.

For some, the ‘cost’ of being hosted having to drink Folgers, as beloved as WOF/J hour.

From there, the day heads where it might: (Un)fortunately, we only have a few tourist sites, so hopefully the beach or village works…

But sometimes the most memorable guest the one who wasn’t:

Our 2 year-old grandson Hugh to stay with us recently – the rest of his family vacationing with a ‘child-matching’ family – both an exhilarating and terrifying prospect: two year olds can be a force of nature.

Unfortunately, Hugh running a fever, added to the family trip, didn’t stay.

He’d have loved Folgers and the beach…    

Reminding of the “Hosting Conundrum’: Without guests you can’t be a welcoming host.

But even welcoming hosts have ‘expectations’, now included in our welcome packets – guest right, and you might earn a 5-star rating on our soon to launch website.

Guests – even those not eagerly anticipated – making our lives richer.

For 224 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on who these people are– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

When we have guests, I have music playing most of the time. A band I enjoy (re)introducing people to is The Jayhawks, a Minneapolis band active from 1984 to today. Minneapolis was a major new music scene in the ‘80s – along with Athens and others – featuring The Replacements, Husker Du (fronted by Bob Mould, the Father of Thrash, later fronting Sugar) and Prince, among others.

I’ve added ‘Save it for a Rainy Day’, ‘Somewhere in Ohio’ ‘Comeback Kids’ and ‘Come Cryin’ to Me” to the BATN playlist.