WELCOME, SUMMER

Summer arrives earlier here.

And stays longer.

Which is why the recent shows and articles featuring: “Memorial Day weekend, the beginning of summer!” startled me just a bit – it’s been summer-ish hot for a few weeks.

Of course, I may have been taking a five, making the update even more jarring…

Summer nearly mythic, conjuring up youthful memories of school’s out! The pools open! And Mom, I’m bored! by late July.

But while I’m dreamily recalling my fondest summertime ‘memories’: Lunch at the club pool,  movies with Betty Lou, and those great beach bonfires, I suddenly realize they’re someone else’s memories, and I’m back to Mom, I’m bored!

I used to love summer – but now! (Shakes fist angrily! But slowly, it’s hot today) I’m not so sure.

Summer a different animal today – where we live, school ending this week, and resuming in early August, a few weeks ahead of my childhood and the northern states.

Summer vacation lasting just over two months, 3 weeks less than ours, making sense since today’s kids have about 50 more years of history to learn.

But summer seems different – more structured? – these days. Kids spending it in camps – ‘educationally’ focused, bike riding- cumbersome helmets and protective gear, and on planned activities, like visiting a museum – boring!

Contrasting with our summer schedule: Get out of here! Be home by 5 for dinner.   

And summer also bringing tourists, who arrive bearing good and badness.

The goodness of tourists, bringing … money. And 3 day stays – down from 7. But to be fair, summers ensuring we have year- round restaurants.

The badness of tourists: Money and traffic! And golf carts!

Noseeums another summer downside, very irritating, aptly named tiny bugs. I think they’re a bit like kudzu, which overgrew the south after being imported to crowd out the ‘wrong’ vegetation, noseeums designed to irritate tourists, but even they won’t go near New Yorkers.  

And speaking of irritants, today officially begins hurricane season. Impossible to forecast, but attemted anyway, with a resounding 50% accuracy.

But with the 50% reduction in federal staffing, hopefully the half that got the forecast wrong now gone, which will mean 100% accuracy.

My link to the National Hurricane Center operational, no activity expected the next 7 days. A morning ritual: Waking up, checking any overnight change: More tension than bingo!

I grew up on tornados, which are narrower, but much quicker and nearly as destructive. We spent most spring Sunday nights in the basement’s NE corner – or SE? – alternating to make sure – and our favorite gag, when the TV scrawl read “If you have a neighbor who’s deaf, tell them”, we’d knock on their door shouting “Hey, you’re deaf!”

Hurricanes on the other hand, plenty of warning – as they say, like being stalked by a turtle – a subject for another time. Maybe multiple times…

But some good summer news: Pollen behind us. It comes earlier here too, in early February. Our travel schedule focused on heading north during March/April allowed me to experience four peak pollen seasons. (Blows nose in remembrance).

Sadly, summer ain’t what it used to be.

But maybe it’s because I ain’t what I used to be…

Without kids anticipating the end of school, ‘summer’ catching us unawares.

And our grandkids busy with camps and travel baseball, so only a single trip to the beach. (Shakes fist resignedly: Grandkid activities!)

And without a job, no summer vacation to anticipate…

Even worse, with my hearing issues, during the next hurricane warning, I’m fearing answering a knock on our door and our neighbor shouting “Hey, you’re deaf!”

For 293 more posts like this –each with a wish for a ceiling fan– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

A weird musical week. The first was a new XTC song – my vote for best band of the ‘80s – with Wonderboi. Electronica? Doesn’t sound a bit like XTC. Oh well, English Settlement remains a deserted island album. And Little Feat came up, with Lowell George long gone. As are Richie Heyward and Paul Barrere. Ain’t the same. But Feats Don’t Fail Me Now and Dixie Chicken remain 2 of the best albums of the ‘80s. I’ve added Drop to Drop and Dance a Little to the BATN playlist. (Shakes fist resignedly).