Goodmart. Badmart. Walmart.
All in one visit.
I’ve been to Walmart 3 times recently, my first visits in 10 years or so.
I’m not much of a shopper – actually, I don’t leave the house much, 6 times a week on average -5 times to get the morning paper and one time to buy beer and dental floss.
But My Captor did drag me to Brunswick recently, looking for porch furniture cushions – the downside of adding a porch to your home, I guess.
While out, we stopped at POP MART, a Chinese retailer featuring reasonably priced ‘cute’ items, which I liked, until confronted with the offered “10% discount for sharing your personal information”. Seemed legit, the form saying it wouldn’t be shared with the CCP.
I wasn’t fooled, but still accepted, figuring they had my info anyway – a listening device in a recent fortune cookie – and I’m not that interesting.
But had I been paying ‘shopping attention’, I might have bought several Labubus, thus padding my retirement savings.
If only I’d known what a Labubu was. I researched the retailer’s website – some odd stuff, Including Skull Pandas and ‘The Monsters of Coca-Cola’. Kids today! (Shakes fist angrily, but quietly, in fear of CCP reprisal. With my fat fingers I’d be terrible at building Apple watches).
But back to Walmart…
The first 2 visits with our sons who just moved into a new apartment, they getting vitals, me buying a paper, beer and dental floss. Goodmart experiences.
The 3rd was yesterday and in the auto repair department, where I was getting a replacement tire.
Headed to Charlotte for a birthday weekend, halfway up 95, when a horrible noise erupted from our car – our only car, since most of my house leaving on foot – we quickly on the shoulder.
The tire shredded. Not believing I hit anything, unsure what happened, thinking I was on the right side of the CCP, but one never knows.
Being on the shoulder of a major highway is mildly terrifying: Cars flying by, a hot day, and the tire changer an hour away. Waiting for a distracted texter to veer right, wipe us out, our lives ending 2 miles from exit 53, Walterboro, SC.
Fortunately, no texter, and the tire changer very efficient.
On to Walmart to replace the tire… very educational.
The first lesson: They don’t move very quickly in the Low Country, as my daughter advised.
The second lesson, appointments take precedence over walk-ins, but with only 2 oil changes ahead of us, how long could it take?
Back to the first lesson: A couple of hours – should have used Walmart delivery.
They were short staffed, waiting for 2 techs to come back from lunch (at 4P, when they close at 5?), it was St. Artemis Day, the patron saint of low country boils.
The delay gave My Captor and I plenty of time to shop the store, where we learned the third lesson: Even I’m better dressed than the average Walmart shopper.
I’d seen the on-line ‘Walmart shopper videos’, but seeing was truly badmart.
But lesson 4 more shocking: The average Walmart shopper better dressed than the average Walmart employee.
There is hope for both groups – nothing a whole bunch of Ozempic can’t fix…
As our visit concluded, maybe the most important lesson: Every Walmart visit ends happily. And unhappily – that good/badmart thing.
The tire successfully replaced, driving great.
But the spare left in the back, out of place.
Back on the plus side: The Walterboro Gazette a great read, the beer delicious and dental floss waxed.
Who knew?
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