I was told Democracy was on the ballot. Or maybe on the menu?
But when I went to vote yesterday, it was nowhere to be found.
Which was unfortunate, because I wore a tie, so I’d look snappy when I finally got a glimpse of Ms. – Mr.? – Democracy.
Raising another electoral concern: Should there be a voting dress code?
Don’t know if it’s central programming’s fault, or just coincidence, but our presidential candidates continue to be the worst ever: Kamala denying she ever believed anything she once believed, no one believing anything Donald says.
And the VP candidates ain’t much better.
This is the 18th consecutive election where I’m voting against someone, and based upon this being called the ‘election of gloom’, most Americans agree.
And that’s with Skeletor replaced…
The candidates are so bad, I couldn’t muster my usual energy to vote multiple times, which I’m guessing will depress turnout in Chicago.
Even the dead won’t be voting in this one…
And the parties clearly agree, as virtually every bit of communication a negative diatribe about the other candidate, ‘Socialist Hitler’ now a compliment.
Fortunately, I’m a bit of an expert on ‘retail politicking’, as I ran for treasurer of my junior HS class, and for student body president at Georgetown a couple of times.
But despite some innovative program ideas, each a crushing defeat.
My treasurer campaign focused on my plan for our HS to abandon the traditional banking system, convert everything to cash, and bury it in a bag underneath the football stadium.
My opponent was virtually without ideas, his big one being Better Grades!, which I actually liked – but unfortunately, a lot more popular – so he crushed me. But I still have that bag.
I’m shocked I never won the presidency at Georgetown based upon my innovative policy proposals:
More mail! Better grades!
Annex Notre Dame for a western campus, utilizing eminent domain.
No classes before noon.
No classes after 1.
Did I mention More mail! Better grades!
So I know politics.
And voting an American right, our civic duty.
But it’s also like dating, where candidates will say and do anything to make you like them – better check any drink a candidate hands you…
The things we’re being promised: No taxes on anything – except the wealthy! Our child tax credit – $200 more than they promised – unless you’re wealthy! Lower tax rates for everyone – except the wealthy!
But still a good year to be wealthy…
And with student loan cancellation off the table, kids are being offered: More mail! Better grades!
But if they want us to keep voting, they need to work on the state/county wide offices, which confuse you as you scroll down:
What does a chief magistrate do?
Do we really need to elect a coroner?
No to a surveyor, they ask way too many questions.
And who knew Claudia de la Cruz was running for president?
Even more bizarre, the election comes down to just 7 states.
Georgia is one, and the bad news: all the mail we receive from the candidates – the worse news, it’s just negative diatribes about the other guy. But still better than living in New York.
In short, a non-serious election leaving out the important stuff: No one’s talking about the China threat, foreign policy, or the deficit.
Sorry, the wealthy will pay off the deficit…
But there is hope, it appears the Republicans might retake the Senate, leaving a divided government, meaning gridlock will be our salvation!
But My Captor and I nailed voting this year: After finishing, we headed out for happy hour!
For 254 more posts like this –each with a wish for an additional candidate– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:
Nada Surf is one of my favorite bands. I’ve saved ‘In Front of me Now’ ‘Blizzard of ‘77’ ‘Happy Kid’ ‘See these Bones’ ‘Clear Eye Clouded Mind’ ‘Waiting for Something’ ‘The Moon is Calling’ and ‘Looking Through’ to the BATN playlist.
Weird day/week for the Chesses: Danny’s 34th birthday was Thursday – most creative celebration was eating chicken wings while watching ’21 World Series highlights – and his obituary ran in the Brunswick and Atlanta papers this week. Google Daniel Joseph Chess if you’re interested.