THE PIPES ARE CALLING

Top of the morning to you…

… And the rest of the day to yourself!

A St. Patrick’s Day greeting for the day we’re all Irish. Or aspire to be.

(Un)fortunately, it’s turned into a bit of Guinessfest, featuring lots of weird greenness – does green beer occur in nature?

But when the ‘real’ Irish go all Guinessfest it has religious intent…

A special day:

Me Mother was a Gilligan, this her favorite day, the day she married my Father. 

My Captor even more Irish – if that’s possible – her corned beef dinner very traditional, better than My Mother’s (Sorry, Mom – you know I’m being held captive).

Her culinary tip: Colcannon – friends and family will thank you.

But today’s revelry aside, the Irish at their core a sad/mournful people, an outsized reverence for death and the departed.

Largely historical: Assertions the British engineered ‘The Famine’, as an act of genocide, the Irish forced to export their abundant crops, causing mass starvation – nearly a third of the population dying.

Combined with strident religious persecution, triggering migration waves to the US.

My Mother’s inherited reverence for the dead taught us ‘keening’, the “act of wailing in grief for the dead”. Traditionally describing graveside requiems and memorials, most frequently by family females.

My Mother keened by: Telling us of those she’d lost – making her father and brother come alive, making us feel we’d known them. Adding she knew her father and brother were OK, once they’d re-appeared telling her so.

Oddly, not freaked out by that.

But one can also keen with their inside voice.

Or even at the keyboard…

For me, honoring my younger brother, who we lost to a drunk driver 35 years ago. He born on the Ides of March, making this a particularly moving week.

I’m from a long line of ‘emotion eaters’ – burying sorrow rather than sharing…

… So, my annual keening ritual a waking fever dream imagining who Dan would have been: Solid citizen, retiring after a long career, six college educated children, solid citizens themselves – multiple grandchildren.

Essentially, the joys I’ve been lucky to experience.

Then I thank God his fiancée – their wedding 6 weeks away – found a great husband and lifelong family happiness.

And if our life success hinges on how we deal with setbacks and disappointment – there’s no greater challenge than the loss of family or friends.

And as I’ve dealt with loss, and attempted to console others – and myself – I’ve realized it never gets better, but fortunately, gets different..

A day comes when they’re no longer your first thought, but they’re vividly remembered at ‘shared interest’ moments.

Memory always painful, but life goes on – eventually understanding living our best life is the ultimate tribute.

And I find My Mother’s eagerness to talk about those we’ve lost is the best we can offer grieving friends: Referring to their loved ones by name, sharing our memories of them, and most importantly, allowing them to share their memories – making them come alive again.

And for a few moments they’re with us again – though they’ve never really left.

While My Captor has her prayer list for the ‘here and gone’, I ‘keyboard keen’, commemorating those who’ve gone before and made our lives richer.

And worth a moment of silence:

But My Mother would remind: “Visit the past, live in the present”.

So, if you have a loved one you haven’t told “I love you” lately, do it now.

Always do it now.

And marvel at the most inspired part of God’s design: Death.

Because without the fear of mortality, we’d never truly appreciate life.

For 219 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on what’s really in green beer– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.

TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

To celebrate properly, check out the Pogues, a Celtic Punk Band. I’ve added ‘Metropolis’ ‘Wild Cats of Kilkenny’ ‘Tuesday Morning’ ‘The Parting Glass’ and ‘Sketches of Spain’ to the BATN playlist.

In a moment of ‘Aging Hipster Geekdom’, I learned Joe Strummer fronted the band in ’91-92, and produced ‘Hell’s Ditch’, after Shane MacGowan left.

But the song of the day is “Danny Boy” – listen to the lyrics. A real tear jerker.