The Pierogi Principle.
First identified in 1939 in Poland, it postulates:
“When the end is near, dispose of everything of value; Leave nothing to your enemies”.
The Poles knew the Nazis were soon to invade, so for two weeks in August 1939, they held hundreds of Pierogi parties and festivals, leaving none for the Nazis.
For the uninitiated, a pierogi is a ‘small filled dumpling of unleavened dough, wrapped around sweet or savory filling’. It occurs in every culture – empanada, pasty, dim sum, Lucky Charm turnovers – and goes great with a beer.
More on that later.
After the festivals, what little food remained was prepared as ground beef and ex-lax Pierogis , and left for the invaders, who coined the term ‘Blitzkrieg’ in response.
The Poles still celebrate ‘PierogiFest’, with the unveiling of the commemorative ‘Trojan Blitzkrieg Pierogi’ the final night highlight.
On a personal note, I applied the principle in a “If she won’t have me, no one will,” moment as a young man; after being dumped by a girlfriend, I shaved my head -and no one would have me. Take that!
Be honest, we all apply a variation of the ‘Pierogi’ over the holidays in anticipation of our New Year Resolutions and Dry January: banging down as many treats, egg nogs, and cocktails as waking hours and IV drips allow, before the New Years Eve ‘Pierogi drop’.
But we had holiday visitors through the 4th, so starting Dry January on the 1st was both rude and impractical.
A brief stay from the Governor…
So the ‘Pierogi Principle’ was extended for 3 days, providing an opportunity to dispose of all the beer in the tri-state area, or at least the house.
Which accomplished a few things:
Had a heck of a lot of fun – and oysters.
Had a heck of a lot of fun, and remembered why we intended Dry January in the first place.
Had a heck of a lot of fun, allowing those who started on the 1st to feel morally superior. Here to help!
But Dry January is now underway, and like all the things me Mother – and My Captor – said “were good for me”, it actually is.
Clearer thinking, sounder sleep, and some other benefits which better arrive soon, to help steel my resolve.
There is pressure however: What to do with all the extra free time?
My Captor – like me Mother -told me “Quit bothering me! Go do something!”, some of the best advice I’ve gotten.
I consulted self help books for the way forward; their recommendations included:
Become a volunteer – I stopped by a meeting, but there was no beer at the after party, so…
Identify long term goals – OK, when is February 1st?
Tackle those home improvement projects – Found my tool kit, got my My Captor-do list. Let’s go!
Try community outreach – Find someone to fix my home improvement projects.
Finally, I settled into my pandemic routine: Sit on the couch and stare into space.
But I get it.
I may do brief Old Man Whines about Dry January, but I have to admit me Mother and My Captor were right when they said “Quit whining, you’re less fun than usual”, with My Captor adding “It’s just a month”.
Again, My Captor is right. It is just a month…
On the plus side, January is the coldest, gloomiest, least fun month of the year – they even moved the Super Bowl to February – the epitome of blah.
But on the other hand, couldn’t it have been the month with just 28 days?
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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENTOF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
Who Likes Pierogis? Stanky and his Pennsylvania Coal Miners Polka Band
Lyrics unavailable – stolen by the Nazis. Check it out on YouTube.
Let’s All Go to the Bar Deer Tick
I don’t care if it rains
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care if there’s a hurricane
(Let’s all go to the bar)
And I don’t care if I’m the one to blame
(Let’s all go to the bar)
Gimme, gimme, gimme, I always want more
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t wanna go to the liquor store
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I got enough at home for after last call
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care if you’re already drunk
(Let’s all go to the bar)
This is one night school that I won’t flunk
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I’m not gonna stand for being down on my luck
(Let’s all go to the bar)
Forget if you’ll regret it when the morning comes
We’ll have a heart attack, we’re having too much fun
If the cops show up we ought run, run, run
But we’ll laugh in their faces when they tell us we’re done
I don’t care if you puke in my ride
(Let’s all go to the bar)
Baby, just as long as you take your piss outside
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care what daddy says, you’re coming out tonight
(Let’s all go to the bar)
Pack of cigarettes and a fake ID
(Let’s all go to the bar)
We don’t like it baby if it don’t come cheap
(Let’s all go to the bar)
Now listen up, though, cause I don’t think you heard me!
Forget if you’ll regret it when the morning comes
We’ll have a heart attack, we’re having too much fun
If the cops show up we ought run, run, run
But we’ll laugh in their faces when they tell us we’re done
I don’t care if it rains
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care if there’s a hurricane
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care if I’m the one to blame
(Let’s all go to the bar)
Must I paint you a picture Billy Bragg
It’s bad timing and me
We find a lot of things out this way
And there’s you
A little black cloud in a dress
The temptation
To take the precious things we have apart
To see how they work
Must be resisted for they never fit together again
If this is rain let it fall on me and drown me
If these are tears let them fall
Must I paint you a picture
About the way that I feel?
You know my love for you is strong, girl
You know my love for you is real
It took a short walk and a talk
To change the rules of engagement
While you searched frantically for reverse
And them claiming
That virtue never tested is no virtue at all
And so I lost my ignorance
And now the bells across the river chime out your name
I look across to them again
Must I paint you a picture
About the way that I feel?
You know my love for you is strong, girl
You know my love for you is real
All your friends said come down
It will never fly
And on that imperfect day
We threw it all away
Crisis after crisis
With such intensity
This would never happen if we lived by the sea
Most important decisions in life
Are made between two people in bed
I found that out at my expense
And when I see you
You just turn around and walk away like we never met
Oh we used to be so brave
I dreamt the world stopped turning as we climbed the hill
I dreamt impossible dreams that we were lovers still
Must I paint you a picture
About the way that I feel?
You know my love for you is strong, girl
You know my love for you is real
Some bartenders have the gift of pardon Mark Eitzel
Spec’s almost drowned off the coast of California
And started this museum
To help the shipwrecked remember
They grow quiet
The sea grows colder
Drinking the night away
Burn bridges grow older
Kent worked at Spec’s since 1970
Right after Haight Street finally choked on its own vomit
An impartial smile made him a gentleman
Some bartenders have the gift of pardon
A bar has a longer history than a country
What keeps the moon chained
Are ridiculous acts of faith
And after a couple of drinks
Visionary eyes all burn
The drunks seem saint-like
In their disillusion
Kent always knew the serious nature of a smile
Knew the serious nature of the job he was given
Never told himself there’s only so much a man could take on
Some bartenders have the gift of pardon
The piano has been drinking (not me) Tom Waits
The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to new york, the jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone’s out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
And the menus are all freezing, and the light man’s blind in one eye
And he can’t see out of the other
And the piano-tuner’s got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
As the bouncer is a sumo wrestler cream-puff Casper milktoast
And the owner is a mental midget with the i.q. of a fence post
Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
And you can’t find your waitress with a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you just can’t get served without her
And the box-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired
Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me
January Song Billy Bragg
Not sure what this has to do with any type of January, but Billy Bragg is quite fine
I’m so tightly wound in tension
Feel just like a guitar string
Waiting to reveal emotions
Touch me and you’ll hear me sing
I’m so tired of being wired
But there so much that I have to do
Tidy up the place for Monday
When she’s buried in her dancing shoes
My journey has been so hard lately
Been having to get out and push
Lift me standing on the sidewalk
Talking to a burning bush
Politicians selling freedom
Bumper sticker fifty cents
Asking what he wants to be free from
Answer don’t make any sense
Somewhere on the fall horizon
Gonna wash away my sins
Turn around and taste tomorrow
This is how the end begins
I’m so tired of being wired.
Cheers Jim