I wouldn’t go there if I was you.
Or, “Myself would not gain entry, if myself were thou-est”, as Shakespeare said in the opening line of his first play, “Romeo and Juliet and Queen Victoria”.
It was his only Rom-Com, a play about the polyamorous relationship between commoners and the Queen, set on a Jamaican vacation.
It was later adapted as a XXX feature, “The Queen does She and He. And He and She. And a bunch of other genders”.
I bring this up because I fancy myself a Shakespeare expert; last week’s post title, “What’s Past is Prologue” is from “The Tempest” and says the past sets the context for the future. Uttered by Sebastian, as a ‘defense’ for murder – basically, the past made me do it.
I think that’s what it means, but I got a C- on my Tempest paper in College, so your guess is as good as mine. Or likely better.
But my C- lives on, commemorated with a plaque at the Library of Congress, for being the last grade below B awarded in this country.
The quotation is also used by the military when discussing the similarities between wars throughout history.
The past may be a grotesque animal, but it’s now an object of fascination, fueled by the Ancestry/genealogy craze, as well as the “Won’t you tell us kids about yourselves?” tool.
But I fear we may view the past as a ‘happy place’, and attempt to air-brush our histories.
When I expressed interest in our genealogy, my Aunt said “I wouldn’t go there if I was you – you may not like what you find”.
And she was right.
First, my DNA revealed I was 50% Irish, 25% Lithuanian, 2% German Shepherd, and 23% Mr. Johnson, our former neighbor.
According to our genealogy, my great-uncle started the Spanish Flu Pandemic of 1918, the Irish government claims our family owes thousands in unpaid parking tickets, and my Great Grandfather invented the F word. The royalties from that last thing have been tremendous.
Fortunately, 23 And Me offers a wide variety of family trees and DNA profiles; $39.95 later I was an heir (distant) to the Wal-Mart fortune, and Dutch royalty. So it ended happily.
The “Won’t you tell us kids about yourselves?” tool is the questions you ‘should have asked your parents’, but while they’re still alive.
A new question appears weekly, such as: How did you meet, what were your hobbies, are your parking tickets paid?
But I fear our ‘air-brushed pasts’ lead us to avoid the tough questions: What about us kids has disappointed you the most, what might your life have been like if you’d never married, were you faithful in your marriage?
You know, the ice breakers.
But for many, the past is an excuse for current bad behavior. But an unacceptable excuse – we can learn, adapt – do better.
A question our children might ask: “Why were our birthdays so over the top”?
“My Captor – your Mother (you have to help kids these days) –was born on December 13th, and her birthday never received ‘discrete celebration intensity’, annually being combined with Christmas “.
She over-over -corrected, as family birthdays became day-long events: House decorated, celebrant choosing their breakfast, lunch and dinner, kicked off with a breakfast celebration and concluding with their favorite cake.
And we learned early that cross-themed Birthday and Christmas gifts would soon be a projectile – note to self: No more ugly Birthday/Christmas sweaters!
But my aunt would also tell you:
Don’t let the future ruin the past, and definitely don’t let the past ruin the future.
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Bring On The Ending Matt Pond PA A fine band to (re)discover
Half of all our lives are spent, Encouraged by embarrassment
We hold our heads and stay asleep and cannot hear, In case nobody called
follow the prim ones, And sit on your hands
Watch your step don’t hardly move, Speak in hushed tones
Till they bring on the ending, They bring on the ending
As we file to get outside, With all the same coats on
here it is December’s end, All our evaluations are in
The lowland’s goal, Is less than low
It’s good, So easy to have met them
August light the weightless fall
The hold of trucks, Could carry us all
The hot exhaust, The thoughtless sleep
We’d run and fall into the river
we’d meet up at night, Pretty late by the falls
Talk too fast without regret, With headlights and stars
It was brighter than the daylight, Bodies all back light
Unconscious though we’re moving
Stereo was screaming
we’ll settle for stares, Now unglide with our hands
The basement is where we will live, And stick to the crowds
Without ever speaking, We want it that easy
And don’t get caught dancing
Even if you’re drinking
Don’t get caught dancing
Is There A Ghost Band of Horses
I could sleep, I could sleep
When I lived alone
Is there a ghost in my house?
I could sleep, I could sleep
When I lived alone
Is there a ghost in my house?
My house
I could sleep, I could sleep
When I lived alone
Is there a ghost in my house?
My house, I could sleep
Heroes Jill Sobule She is a fun listen
Why are all our heroes so imperfect
Why do they always bring me down
Why are all our heroes so imperfect
The statue in the park has lost his crown
William Faulkner drunk and depressed
Dorothy Parker mean, drunk and depressed
And that guy in Seven Years in Tibet turned out to be a Nazi
The founding fathers all had slaves
The explorers slaughtered the braves
The old testament God can be so petty
Paul McCartney jealous of John, even more so now that he’s gone
Dylan was so mean to Donovan in that movie
Pablo Picasso cruel to his wives
My favorite poets took their own lives
Orson Welles peaked at 25, ballooned before our eyes
And he sold bad wine
Heard Babe Ruth was full of malice
Lewis Carroll I’m sure did Alice
Plato in the cave with those very young boys
TS Elliott hated Jews, FDR didn’t save the Jews
All the French joined the resistance after the war
Raymond Chandler drunk and depressed
Tennessee Williams drunk and depressed
Think I’ll just get drunk and depressed
The Former Owner Always Keeps the Keys Del Amitri
… So who was first?
Obviously not me.
She’s locked up inside herself
And I can’t get anything free
So won’t somebody tell me please
Why the former owner always keeps the keys.
… There’s no bubbles to burst
No bursting out crying nor dying of thirst
She’s utterly tied to somebody else
And it seems he got there first.
And no, I’m not untying
The reins around her neck that she feels
And I won’t try to prise out of her the truth anymore
When she lies about the things that she sees
Because the former owner always keeps the keys.
… There’s no calling
“come here, you’re necessary to me.”
There’s no excitement in her face when I implore
“corrupt me and confess to me some more.”
And when we hear trees falling or see people disappearing
Her emotions won’t be reached or released,
Because the former owner is keeping the keys
… Like a ticket inspector running for a bus
Irony’s revenge surrounds us.
And it’s ironic that he promised you he’d never let you go
When he’s left you used-up and disturbed
And I said “just as the early bird catches the worm
The early cat catches the bird”
But that former owner is keeping his word
Bookends Theme Simon and Garfarkle
Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, A time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories; They’re all that’s left you