THE IRISH GOODBYE

“I’m no fool mama, I know the difference between tempting and choosing my fate”

The Irish Goodbye …

… When one leaves a social gathering without saying goodbye to anyone, particularly the host.

Danny, you pulled the ultimate Irish Goodbye, leaving your family, and this life, without saying goodbye.

Without a note, without a text, without warning.

And without your passwords, which made figuring out your accounts tricky…

Leaving those who love you wondering why you did what you did when you did it – we all feared it could happen someday, but why Friday, September 13^th?

Leaving when your family thought you were “doing great”, having just spent a weekend with your 3 brothers who all were convinced you were more than fine – doing great. And wondering why you didn’t talk to them about what was bothering you, they always ready to listen, each thinking of himself as your best friend.

Leaving your sisters, confused and saddened by your sudden departure, wishing for just one more conversation or visit.

Leaving your nephews and nieces, who know you’re gone, but not sure why – or how. John wondering why you “weren’t more careful”, James hoping you are happy in heaven, Nora delivering her tribute to you as the “Best godfather and uncle ever” at your celebration of life.

Leaving your friends, who understand your decision, but still miss you.

Leaving your parents, now living a parent’s worst nightmare…

All of us loved you, which we know you knew, and maybe didn’t totally believe.

But it clearly wasn’t enough.

And what you left behind – what a year this has been!

All of us left to ponder what we could have done to prevent this – what did we miss? What could/should we have done?

Fortunately, that was a brief occupation, reminded the ‘past is past’ – there’s nothing we can do about it – we owe you living our best lives as a tribute.

But there have been moments – lots of moments – trying to understand why you did it – and who you really were at the end.

Moments remembering your occasional ‘dark’ times, a definite pessimist.

Recalling you doubting your abilities – never giving yourself credit for what you had done, or could do.

But the dark times balanced by happy memories: Roller coasters, Braves, UGA football, Palm Coast (a Cubano and Tropicalia), and Southern Soul – they roll off the mind…

Ultimately accepting the simplest explanation: You didn’t fit here, and left to find peace.

But despite it all, we have so much to thank you for:

Nearly 34 years as part of the family, loving every minute – even when things weren’t great. You were an amazing son, brother and uncle.

And your death a life lesson, reminding once again that the little things don’t really matter, not to be sweated… it is family and friends that make our world the amazing place it is.

But I’d give anything for another Sunday morning conversation: After BATN posted, you’d call and I’d hear your reaction, and discuss whatever was on our minds.

The finality the toughest part of your death – and all deaths – leaving us to marvel at God’s handiwork: Without death we’d take all this for granted.

Part of closure accepting that you aren’t coming back, but in many ways have never left – we are sustained by glorious memories of our time together.

They say parents don’t have favorites, but something about every child makes them a favorite.

For me, it was your smile when surrounded by family, moments when you truly came alive.

That’s what I’ll always remember.

We love you.

Peace.