Best $7.99 we ever spent.
We’re careful with our money, but when the chance to sign up for Hallmark + arrived, we jumped.
Maybe jumping sideways though, signing up twice – not realizing there’s a difference between a YouTube TV and regular subscription.
The latter successfully cancelled, but inviting dissonance with its offers of ‘50% off to reinstate your membership’, way more generous than the chance to settle our speeding tickets and/or parking violations, offered by those friendly text messages.
Both subscriptions offering “10-day free trial” – incredibly nice, don’t you think?
They also offered a $2 ‘Canadian discount’. While we love poutine, I look terrible in flannel, and don’t enjoy spicy beaver dip, so no thanks.
And for an additional $7.99, Hallmark ++ offered adult dramas featuring murder, marital stress, and ice-skating abductions, but that felt too much like Disney +, no thanks.
And we haven’t looked back, largely because the TV is in front of us…
The key word is member, as if we’ve been accepted into a club, where there are no commercials, just nice people.
We debate whether it’s Canadian, Kansas City, or Saskatchewan nice, but have happily settled on North American nice.
The programming soothingly predictable: Nothing but happy endings, following moments of tension:
Will she believe the mistaken rumor he’s back with his old girlfriend?
Will he be able to convince the president to lift the tariff on Hallmark +?
Will she trust the mistaken text messages on his phone about his unpaid speeding tickets and/or parking violations?
Yes, it’s predictable, but isn’t life better that way?
We’re currently watching the 4-part series “Christmas At Sea”, a cruise ship load of Nice People interacting with Nice Hallmark Stars, the stories of 5 traveler groups highlighted. Each group very nice, as you’d expect…
And since this isn’t Netflix, there’s no hooking up, clothes ‘nicely’ staying on.
Even after a spiced cider or two at the fall festival…
We have our routine watching Hallmark +, my job googling the stars to remind the other Hallmark movies they’ve appeared in, if they’re Canadian, American or Northwest Territorian, any kids – human interest stuff.
All pretty vanilla – or maple, I guess – everyone seemingly happy, well adjusted – and nice.
The only potential ‘controversy’: Andrea Canning’s Instagram posts, where she’s wearing what appear to be her daughter’s clothing, but that’s it.
Many readers probably saying: Wait, Andrea’s on Dateline – but she’s appeared in several Ruby Herring mysteries, writing those as well as multiple Hallmark movies.
And she seems nice, so dress however she likes.
Speaking of dissonance, these nice, happy endings colliding with real life, where you never know the outcome in advance.
Struck by that contrast after lunch with our friends and their daughter, who recently had her first child, a son.
She (and Joe) doing an excellent job with little Beck – not named for my Sunday morning artist – who’s already on a routine, echoing my father-in-law’s advice: “Children want to know what to expect, when”.
Routine/schedule a great start, but she received additional parenting ‘input’ during lunch:
Children should sit at the table during a meal out – if up, only light jogging through the restaurant;
Hold on to their tablet as long as possible – at least until they’re 16;
They can start kindergarten without knowing French. Our kids barely knew the alphabet – or English…
And reminded the basics of parenting don’t change: Forgive their mistakes, teach them to do better and be good citizens, to be nice to others – and themselves, and love them unconditionally.
The rest will take care of itself… quite nicely.
For 302 more posts like this –each with a wish for a happy ending– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:
Steve Earle’s a sober fellow, who played Walon on The Wire, a recovering addict leading a recovery group. I’ve saved ‘Copperhead Road’ ‘Bad Girls’ ‘Telephone Road’ ‘You’re Still Standing’ and ‘Harlem River Blues’, the latter written by his son who died of an opioid overdose. It contains the line: “I’m no fool Mama, I know the difference between choosing and tempting my fate.”