Mothers, doing God’s work.
Or for atheists, doing bleak nothingness’ work.
Happy Mother’s day!
The most important day of the year – if you know what’s good for you.
I’ve never been a Mother, though apparently that is now a possibility – and I was recently called something that sounded like that – but have had lots of experience with Mothers.
I’m supposing we all have one.
Other than offensive coordinator, which every male believes he could do better, it has to be the most underappreciated job around.
When a Mother juggles child care, work, school, activities – fill in what I’ve missed – it’s no big deal. When a Father takes the kids shopping, people are amazed: “You’ve got your hands full!”
But for Fathers, today is a high wire act of “Did you have a good day, Dear?”
And while My Captor isn’t my Mother, when the kids were little, the pressure was on for Mom’s day to be ‘all she hoped for’: Let her sleep in, take the kids to the park, breakfast with mimosa(s), take the kids back to the park, the presentation of the kid’s hand-made cards/gifts, ‘whatever you want to do’ this afternoon while I take the kids back to the park, and out for dinner.
Expectations are different for Father’s Day, where a bucket of fried chicken and a 12 pack of IPA suffice.
As the kids grew, the homemade gifts/cards grew more elaborate, from the cards with “I Wuv you Mom”, to the anatomically correct paper mache model of Mom, to our son’s recreation of the labor and delivery process with Legos and Claymation, complete with “real contraction screams”.
Later, the pressure shifted to the kids, and I was relegated to anxious moments: Has everyone called, did cards/gifts arrive (the right gifts – for kids in their 30s, hand print paintings no longer work), should I have gotten her a gift – maybe a better gift?
Finally, My Captor decided to make Mother’s Day weekend a girls trip with her sisters, which got us all off the hook.
Who needs kids to enjoy Motherhood?
But why do I feel like Mothers aren’t fully appreciated?
That underappreciation begins with our own Mothers. We don’t notice all they do for us – or their Motherly wisdom.
And while the ‘Ministry of Truth’ will now tell us what to believe, true wisdom has always been just a Mom away.
To paraphrase Glinda, “Your Mother had the goods all along, my Dear”.
Mothers have always been the line of last defense.
Have always given the best advice on how to live, how to treat others – how to make her proud.
The line of last defense to ensure the norms that make civilization civilized carry on to the next generation.
There’s much lamenting our ‘partisan divide’, but we don’t have to always agree, we just have to live together. And Mom would remind us the issue is the way we talk to those with whom we disagree.
Mom’s advice? “If your friend told you to destroy someone personally and/or professionally, would you jump in a lake?”
While her advice may have induced eye-rolls, it turned out to make incredible sense. And be the right way to live.
And as we continue to turn into our parents, we pass so much of what she taught us on to your children.
Which might be the ultimate tribute (or freak out moment) to our Mothers: Admitting that we are turning into an updated version of her.
Thanks Moms. For everything.
Text me when you want us to come back from the park…
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Mother Blues Ray Wiley Hubbard
Rediscovered this song looking for ‘Mother songs’. While it is about a club called Mother Blues, and not Moms, it has one of the great rock lines ever: “And the days I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, Ah Well, I have really good days”.
He also wrote “Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother”, which makes him some version of immortal.
Nobody loves me, but my mother BB King
Nobody loves me, but my mother,
And she could me jivin` too.
Nobody loves me, but my mother,
And she could me jivin` too.
Now you see why I act so funny, baby,
When you do the things you do.
Stacy’s Mom Fountains of Wayne Though ‘Hackensack’ is my favorite FOW song
Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on
Stacy, can I come over after school?
We can hang around by the pool
Did your mom get back from her business trip?
Is she there, or is she trying to give me the slip?
You know, I’m not the little boy that I used to be
I’m all grown up now, Baby, can’t you see?
Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on
She’s all I want
And I’ve waited for so long
Stacy, can’t you see?
You’re just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but
I’m in love with Stacy’s mom
Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on
Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on
Stacy, do you remember when I mowed your lawn?
Your mom came out with just a towel on
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared
And the way she said
“You missed a spot over there”
And I know that you think it’s just a fantasy
But since your dad walked out
Your mom could use a guy like me
Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on
She’s all I want
And I’ve waited for so long
Stacy, can’t you see?
You’re just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but
I’m in love with Stacy’s mom
Stacy’s mom, oh, oh, (I’m in love with)
Stacy’s mom, oh, oh, (Wait a minute)
Stacy, can’t you see?, You’re just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but
I’m in love with Stacy’s mom
Mama Don’t JJ Cale
Yeah, Mama don’t allow no guitar playing ’round here
Yeah, Mama don’t allow no guitar playing ’round here
I don’t care what mama don’t allow
I’ll play my guitar anyhow
Mama don’t allow no guitar playing ’round here
Hey, Mama don’t allow no bass in this place
Yeah, Mama don’t allow no bass in this place
I don’t care what mama don’t allow
I’ll play my bass anyhow
Mama don’t allow no bass in this place
Yeah, Mama don’t allow no drumming going on
Yeah, Mama don’t allow no drumming going on
I don’t care what mama don’t allow
Gonna play my drums anyhow
Mama don’t allow no drumming going on
Yeah, Mama don’t allow no piano players in here
Mama don’t allow no piano players in here
I don’t care what mama don’t allow
Gonna play my piano anyhow
Mama don’t allow no piano players in here
Yeah, Mama don’t allow no reefer-smoking round about
Yeah, Mama don’t allow no reefer-smoking round about
Yeah, I don’t care what mama don’t allow
I’m gonna smoke my reefer anyhow
Mama don’t allow no reefer in here
Mama don’t allow us all playing at the same time
Mama don’t allow us all playing at the same time
I don’t care what mama don’t allow
We’re all gonna play all at the same time anyhow
Mama don’t allow us all playing at the same time
Long May You Run Neil Young
We’ve been through some things together
With trunks of memories still to come
We found things to do in stormy weather
Long may you run
Long may you run
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run.
Well, it was back in Blind River in 1962
When I last saw you alive
But we missed that shift on the long decline
Long may you run
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run
Maybe the Beach Boys have got you now
With those waves singing “Caroline” (Caroline No)
Rollin’ down that empty ocean road
Gettin’ to the surf on time
Long may you run
Although these changes have come
With your chrome heart shining in the sun
Long may you run
I Can’t Live Without My Mother’s Love Sun Kill Moon (Mark Kozelek)
I can live with the sky falling out from above
I can live with your scorn, your sourness, your smug
I can live growing old alone if push comes to shove
But I can’t live without my mother’s love
I can live flying round at an impossible pace
I can live with the bad etiquette that’s falling on this place
I can live with anything you’ve got to throw in my face
But I can’t live without my mother’s embrace
My mother is seventy five
She’s the closest friend I have in my life
Take her from me, I’ll break down and bawl
And wither away like old leaves in the fall
You can be cruel all you want, talk bad on my brothers
Shoot me full of holes and I won’t by bothered
Judge me for my ways and my slew of ex-lovers
But don’t ever dare say a bad word about my mother
When she’s gone I’ll miss how slowly she walks
Playing scrabble with the chimes of the grandfather clock
I’ll even miss the times that we fought
But mostly I’ll miss being able to call her and talk.
I can live without watching the classic old fights
I can live without a lover beside me at night
I can live without what you might call a charmed life
But I can’t live without my mother providing her light
My mother is seventy five
One day she won’t be here to hear me cry
When the day comes for her to let go
I’ll die off like a lemon tree in the snow
When the day comes for her to leave
I won’t have the courage to sort through her things
With my sisters and all our memories
I cannot bear all the pain it will bring