My Captor and I have been to a lot of Super Bowl parties through the years – haven’t we all?
We rarely have ‘A dog in the hunt’ – being college football fans – so usually a relaxing, fun time.
With the ‘importance’ of the NFL exploding over time – of last year’s 100 top rated television viewerships, 109 were NFL games – I’m guessing they’d bill this as “The world’s most important day of the year!”, the NFL’s Easter Sunday, as it were. This is THE REAL FOOTBALL!
Yeesh – the World Cup even accepting Canada, Norway and Greenland. And 2 billion viewers.
To make it seem even ‘BIGGER!’, it’s identified by Roman Numerals, and this year they’ll also use the metric system for the yard/meter markers, so a first down will be first 1st and 9.2.
Even if you’re just at the party for the chicken wings, here’s useful Super Bowl trivia to impress the other party goers:
The first 2 SBs (1 and 2) were actually the “AFL-NFL World Championship Game”, becoming the Super Bowl in 1969 (MCMLXIX), post-merger of the two leagues. This is SB LX, which is also a new Subaru SUV, tie-ins everywhere tonight. That’s 60, for all you non-Italians.
Super Bowl VIII (7.8 meters) was at Rice Stadium in Houston; on drive-by appears no longer SB appropriate, but maybe good for the XFL’s 400 or so fans.
Over 1 billion chicken wings will be consumed, with pizza a close second at 600,000 ordered – most with cheese and/or pepperoni, 3 with anchovies.
Since the metric system will be on display on 4th and millimeter plays, amaze your fellow guests by converting Celsius to Fahrenheit: 1.8 times Celsius plus 32. Or just say 4. No one knows the conversion and it will be cold. The reverse conversion slightly less complicated than the US tax code.
The NFL has sold its soul to organized gambling – but fortunately there’s a 1-800 number for those having trouble. What could go wrong?
And bets abound: Seattle favored by 4.5 points (3.2 meters) and the points over/under (O/U) 45.5, which is -8 Celsius.
My Captor and I, despite watching alone, will have a ‘squares game’ – the one with the quarter ending score – but it will be based upon chicken wings eaten.
Those are conventional bets, but prop(osition) bets will be everywhere: Who will win the coin toss? Who will score first? Will any of the half time show be in English? O/U on ICE arrests outside the stadium 43,748, inside the stadium 11,367, of QB’s O/U one.
The O/U on Americans who understand Roman numerals zero. But I’m still working on my New Year’s resolution to convert the rest of the world from the metric system.
In keeping with the conspiracy theorists, the game’s already scripted, Seattle winning a thriller. Though, given the recent award winner ‘mis-reads’, maybe it will be NE. Patrick Mahomes will be named the game’s MVP, for the 11th consecutive year.
The best SB party I ever attended, everyone brought a TV, everywhere you looked you saw the game. I brought a radio, which had a terrible picture.
But we’re all just watching for the commercials anyway.
The O/U on ‘good’ commercials four. But it will be a ‘good’ night for the stars, who will earn millions $ (500k+ Euros) for eating chips. The O/U on gambling ads 78. Take the over.
The O/U on people showing up for work on time tomorrow, six.
If they show up at all.
To fix that, move the game to the Sunday before President Trump Day -just one week!
Or add another holiday on February IX…
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:
The new Ratboys album has ‘dropped’ (a Hipster music term for dropped) and is great.