Jimmy Carter promised us an elevator for our apartment building.
My great-grandfather received an actual Bull Moose from Teddy Roosevelt, and Victor lived for 50 years.
John McCain offered a $2500 tax credit, but he did it with the ‘POW: Two eye blinks for a tax credit’ subterfuge, which apparently no one understood.
Joe Biden offered every American a pool table, like the one featured in his basement.
Ronald Reagan promised he’d tear the wall down, Donald Trump said he’d build it…
… when Mexico wouldn’t pay for it, Indiana did.
And the presidential candidates have promised to eliminate taxes on just about any type of income!
A great time to be alive, and American.
An election year, where every dream’s promised to come true:
No taxes on tips or social security benefits!
Don’t receive tips or social security benefits? What’s your bank account #, we’ll send you some…
The child tax credit increasing with each new campaign stop – could be a good side hustle for My Captor and I.
And with the Supreme Court members scheduled to be booted every couple of years, an even better side hustle!
And both candidates recently pledged “No more hurricanes!”, which was great news.
‘Gift offering’ a definite political tradition, dating to the middle-ages, and beyond:
Caesar promised a horse for every chariot – and a chariot if you didn’t have one; Nero promised to end the Black death with masking and 6 feet distancing – didn’t work then either; and my neighbor promised to resurface the tennis courts if elected HOA president.
And extends into modern parenting:
The Sacred Tablet Hand-Off, to children when the family goes out to dinner.
Encouraging kids to do their homework – revised to “Never mind Junior, I can finish your math for you – you go check WhatsApp”.
And I read that ‘New Age parenting’ focuses on creating a nurturing and supportive environment for children to thrive intellectually, emotionally, and socially.
Which sounds a lot like what we – and our parents did.
(Shakes fist angrily for context!)
But parental ‘gift offering’ was a bit different in our day, as we viewed behavioral modification in a more ‘hands-on’ fashion, while allowing The Nuns to handle intellectual development, were mildly concerned about our kid’s emotional states – interested if it was good – and telling them to go outside and play for their social development.
It applies to work as well, with a lot of give and take:
The take was by workers during Covid, when there were lots of job vacancies, workers were starting new jobs every couple of weeks and companies were offering bonuses, free drinks and snacks, and games – even offering a ‘Joe Biden pool table’ in the break room.
Now, with unemployment rising, fewer job vacancies, and more layoffs, the company’s ‘give’ is now gone: No more remote work, back to the office, and stay chained to your desk. And employees are once again learning Company Anthems.
But with 60ish days to go before the election, the real ‘gift offering’ action starts NOW, as both candidates sweeten the pot at each campaign stop.
And possibly the debate.
Which have had significant moments: JFK offering “Chowder in every pot”, Bush Jr. “A pot in every Chili”, and Hillary “Pot in every pot” – but perhaps the most memorable, the year Bill Clinton ‘forgot’ to wear pants.
The next 60 days like an early Christmas…
But a note of caution: Before you get too excited by the soon to be announced promise of Ozempic for All! know we’re still waiting for the elevator we were promised…
For 246 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on when this election will end– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.
And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:
Sun Kil Moon is a SF band of origin, the repurposed Red House Painters. Led my Mark Kozelek, the project is named after the Korean boxer Sung-Kil Moon – Kozelek a big boxing fan. I’ve added ‘Ben’s My Friend’ (a personal favorite) ‘Among the Leaves’ ‘Carry Me Ohio’ and ‘Never ending math equation’ (a Modest Mouse cover) by SKM to the BATN playlist and ‘Katy Song’ by the RHP.
Enjoy – very unique sound.
And I’ve also added ‘Step Right Up’ by Tom Waits: “The large print giveth, the small print taketh away”
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