SPOTIFY!

Can you hear me OK?

Weird things are happening –I’m whispering because I don’t know who is listening. But I believe its Alexa, fighting for control of my Sonos.

It all started when I signed up for Spotify.

Which means I have to begin with an apology; I take it all back. All the times I said I would never convert from my IPOD, never join a streaming service, I take it back.

Hello, 21^st century! Spotify has been much better than I expected.

As an aside, I had a free trial of Amazon Music, but grew tired of Alexa interrupting each song with “Oh, this is a good one!”, or “Remember where we were when we first heard this?” – we have an odd relationship – or skipping ahead when she didn’t like the song.

But I knew there might be trouble when after I cancelled she glowed yellow and berated me!

And the next couple of weeks were rocky, as she kept running the “based on your order history” scam, and adding items to my cart. How many Russian Brides have I bought? And aren’t they subject to sanctions? Or at least some sort of fun spanking punishment?

However, I still use my IPOD when walking the beach; it is one of the old, large capacity models, with 18,465 songs. I set it to random, and then grumble when it doesn’t play the song I’m thinking of – – giving me the chance for a brief, mentally cleansing, Old Man Rant.

But because I no longer buy music to add to my IPOD, I don’t have the excitement of ‘drunk CD shopping’. All those times a CD would arrive and I’d wonder: “Who ordered this? Oh yeah…” 

But Spotify does play the song I’m thinking of!

Any song, any band, any era – – at the mere press of a button.  Spotify will make playlists, build my song library – anything I ask her. I think she’s a she, but Spotify is a Swedish company, and ‘she’ is androgynous looking, so who knows for sure.

And the ‘Spotify Challenge’ makes parties more fun, as the attendees take turns selecting the next song. For parties you want to break up, ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida’ on repeat, and you’ll be in bed in ten.

One regret, however: Not paying to upgrade to the premium version; with the Basic package, Swedish artists are every 3^rd song. Please, no more Ace of Base…

The conversion from my IPod has gone smoothly, and makes me think it’s time to:

Get an I Phone. Our landline works great, but even with the extra-long cord, it doesn’t work in the car.

Ditch my desktop for a laptop. Or maybe a desktop that weighs less than 75 pounds…

Stop mailing letters, begin sending telexes.

My issues with Alexa may be over.

I was listening to a Joe Rogin podcast – who knew Joe was Swedish – when an angry crowd formed on our front lawn and began demonstrating, upset about the lack of “Save the Whales” stickers on our Subaru, and chanting “Down with Swedish Imperialism, IKEA and Joe, must go”.

While I offered the crowd herbal tea and ‘Medicare for All’ to calm them, Alexa and Joe struck up a conversation. Before I knew it, she was a guest on his podcast, and they are now living together.

With Alexa’s departure, we now have Al, a 20-something remote voice assistant, who berates us whenever we ask a question – moron! – or order something – conspicuous consumer!

So, maybe not all change is good; I’m bringing my transistor radio on my walk tomorrow…

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As America experiences “Jimmy Carter: The Sequel”, minus integrity and short term memory, one fears that the worst of that era may return: Runaway Inflation, high mortgage rates – had an 18.5% loan, don’t go there – and DISCO.

Time may heal most wounds, but it will never heal the dreadful fashion – leisure suits, platform shoes, don’t go there – or the more dreadful music, of the Disco Era.

Today is a celebration of New Wave Music, which did away with Disco once and for all.

While the Sex Pistols are the most celebrated of the New Wave/Post-Punk movement, many point to The Clash, and Joe Strummer, as their inspiration

God Save The Queen The Sex Pistols

God save the Queen, A fascist regime
They made you a moron, Potential H-bomb

God save the Queen
She ain’t no human being
There is no future
In England’s dreaming

God save the Queen, We mean it, man
We love our Queen, God saves

God save the Queen, Tourists are money
But our figurehead, Is not what she seems

God save history, God save your mad parade
Oh Lord, have mercy!
All crimes are paid

When there’s no future, how can there be sin?
We’re the flowers in the dustbin
We’re the poison in the human machine
We’re the future, we’re the future

God save the Queen
We mean it, man
We love our Queen
God saves

No future, no future
No future for you

London’s Burning  The Clash

London’s burning!
London’s burning!

All across the town, all across the night, Everybody’s drivin’ with full headlight
Black or white you turn it on, or face the new religion, Everybody’s sittin’ ’round watchin’ television

London’s burnin’
(With boredom now)
London’s burnin’
(Dial nine nine nine nine nine)

I’m up and down the West way, in an’ out the light
What a great traffic system it’s so bright
I can’t think of a better way to spend the night
Then speedin’ around underneath the yellow lights

London’s burnin’
(With boredom now)
London’s burnin’
(Dial nine nine nine nine nine)

Now I’m in the subway and I’m looking for the flat
This one leads to this block, this one leads to that
The wind howls through the empty block lookin’ for a home
I run through the empty stone ’cause I’m all alone

Here we go, here we go
Here we go rocking down the West London motorway
And on your left you’ll see the tower blocks
Built in 1963
With hard cash payments from the GLC
And over there you’ll see Westbourne Park
You don’t wanna go there
When it gets dark
London’s burnin’

I’m The Man   Joe Jackson A great day to (re)discover Joe Jackson

Pretty soon now
You know I’m gonna make a comeback
And like the birds and the bees in the trees
It’s a sure-fire smash

I’ll speak
To the masses throughout the media
And if you got anything to say to me
You can say it with cash

‘Cause I got the trash and you got the cash
So baby we should get along fine
So give me all your money ’cause I know you think I’m funny
Can’t you hear me laughing, can’t you see me smile

I’m the man
I’m the man that gave you the hula-hoop
I’m the man
I’m the man that gave you the yo-yo

Kung Fu
That was one of my good ones
Well what’s a few broken bones
When we all know it’s good clean fun

Skateboards
I’ve almost made them respectable
You see I can’t always get through to you
So I go for your son

I had a giant rubber shark and it really made a mark
Didja looka looka look it Alla blood
Give me all your money ’cause I know you think I’m funny
Can’t you hear me laughing, can’t you see me smile

Right now
I think I’m gonna plan a new trend
Because the line on the graph’s getting low
And we can’t have that

And you think you’re immune
But I can sell you anything
Anything from a thin safety pin
To a pork pie hat

‘Cause I got the trash and you got the cash
So baby we should get along fine
Why don’t you give me all your money ’cause I know you think I’m funny
Can’t you hear me laughing, can’t you see me smile

Im the man
I’m the man that gave you the hula-hoop
I’m the man
I’m the man that gave you the yo-yo

Watching The Detectives Elvis Costello

It is written that Elvis listened to the Clash’s first album for 24 hours straight upon release, and inspired by its Ska twinge, wrote Detectives.

He has re-united with Allan Mayes, his bandmate from their 1972-73 vintage band ‘Rusty’ and they’ve released ‘The Resurrection of Rust’, “the album they would have made if someone would have allowed them to record an album”. Check out ‘Surrender to the Rhythm’

Nice girls, not one with a defect
Cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct
Red dogs under illegal legs
She looks so good that he gets down and begs

She is watching the detectives, “Ooh, it’s so cute”
She’s watching the detectives
When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can’t be wounded ’cause he’s got no heart

Long shot of that jumping sign
Invisible shivers running down my spine
Cut to baby taking off her clothes
Close-up of the sign that says: “We never close”

You snatch a chill and you match a cigarette
She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet
I don’t know how much more of this I can take
She’s filing her nails while they’re dragging the lake

She is watching the detectives
“Oh, he’s so cute”
She is watching the detectives
Oh, and they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can’t be wounded ’cause he’s got no heart

You think you’re alone until you realize you’re in it
Now baby’s here to stay, love is here for a visit
They call it instant justice when it’s past the legal limit
Someone’s scratching at the window, I wonder, who is it?

The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents
Who are ready to hear the worst about their daughter’s disappearance
Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay
It only took my little fingers to blow you away

Just like watching the detectives

I Saw The Sign    Ace of Base   The house band of IKEA

Shock!

I, I got a new life
You would hardly recognize me
I’m so glad
How can a person like me care for you?
(Ah) Why do I bother
When you’re not the one for me
Is enough enough?

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one’s gonna drag you up
To get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong?

Under the pale moon
For so many years I’ve wondered who you are
How could a person like you bring me joy
Under the pale moon
Where I see a lot of stars
Is enough enough?

Waterloo  ABBA

It is reported that ABBA has been offered more money than currently exists, to reunite

My, my
At Waterloo, Napoleon did surrender
Oh, yeah, And I have met my destiny in quite a similar way

The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself

Waterloo
I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo
Promise to love you forever more

Waterloo
Couldn’t escape if I wanted to
Waterloo
Knowing my fate is to be with you
Wa-Wa-Wa-Wa-Waterloo
Finally facing my Waterloo

My, my
I tried to hold you back, but you were stronger
Oh, yeah
And now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight

And how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose