REUNIONS

I’m no fan of revisiting the past – I’m comfortable putting it on a shelf and plowing forward. And who knows what’s hidden there, anyway.

I’m even less a fan of reunions , which feel like ‘forced comradery based on random events and genealogy,’ with people I wasn’t friends with and whom I don’t remember – but the open bar is a powerful draw…

But it could be the resolution to lose 20 pounds and grow hair as reunion prep that scares me off.

Maybe it started with family reunions when I was a kid: meeting distant relatives and not understanding what “on your Mother’s side” meant – were there people who weren’t on my Mother’s side? What could she have possibly done to them?

And ‘once removed’, can you be re-admitted?

One of my parent’s shared interests was ‘grudging’, a tradition practiced for generations and outliving remembering what the grudge was over.

In fact, my brother wouldn’t talk to himself for years, blaming himself for being duped in a pyramid scheme – he never was good in geometry…

But grudges made reunions complicated. We were instructed there were relatives we “shouldn’t talk to”, though no one could remember why.

Mix in the occasional foul perfume, cigarette smoke in the face, and the Aunt who slobbered on your face as she “gave a little kiss”, and it was not a kid’s cup of tea.

Except for the year Uncle Eddie came (don’t know whose side he was on). He had a very cool removable glass eye; after a few drinks he’d forget who had his eye, and we took it home – returning it when we couldn’t sleep for that thing watching us.

Uncle Eddie still carries a grudge over that…

Later, high school reunions – a chance to revisit some of the worst years of our life – became a game of “I’m more successful than you”. Some shows of success worked better than others:

The classmate who drove up late in a brand new Mercedes, with ‘dealer test drive’ plates;

Classmates who claimed European royalty; one the ‘Duke of Skuldania’, who I knew was a fraud because he didn’t know the details of the Skuldania Christmas festival, one of my favorite Hallmark movies;

The cruel kids, bragging about human rights violations they had committed, to ensure we still feared them.

But I wasn’t intimated – I had a name tag that sent subliminal messages about how successful I was.

College reunions are another thing entirely, we remember our classmates more clearly, and these are relationships we’d kept up with.

And we’re old enough to no longer care what anyone thinks of us.

Fortunately, with age comes sketchy memory, and people forget the truly stupid things we did. But to hedge one’s bets, it’s important to hang near classmates who did even stupider things.

Somehow, I was always surrounded.

But I’m relaxing my ban and will attend future college reunions, but in limited doses. I’m going to our 75th, and planning to get a new hip for the occasion.

Recently though, I attended a graduate school reunion via Zoom, which has changed my outlook:

The attendees were people I actually knew – and remembered;

With proper background lighting, I looked 20 pounds lighter and had hair;  

There was no ‘organ recital’ of past illnesses large and small – which was unfortunate, because I was eager to share my plan for a new hip;

Most of the call was devoted to talking about grandkids.  

Which meant we spent our time talking about the future – which is a whole lot more interesting than dwelling on the past.

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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

I don’t live here anymore   The War on Drugs

I was lying in my bed
A creature void of form
Been so afraid of everything
I need a chance to be reborn

I never wanted anything
That someone had to give
I don’t live here anymore
I went along the wind

When I think about the old days, babe
You’re always on my mind
I know it ain’t like I remember
I guess my memories run wild

Like when we went to see Bob Dylan
We danced to “Desolation Row”
But I don’t live here anymore
But I got no place to go

Beating like a heart
I’m gonna walk through every doorway, I can’t stop
I need some time, I need control, I need your love
I wanna find out everything I need to know

I’m gonna say everything that there is to say
Although you’ve taken everything I need away
I’m gonna make it to the place I need to go
We’re all just walkin’ through this darkness on our own

Time surrounds me like an ocean
My memories like waves
Is life just dying in slow motion
Or getting stronger everyday?

I never took our love for granted
You never left me wanting more
But you’d never recognise me, babe
I don’t live here anymore

Beating like a heart
I’m gonna walk through every doorway, I can’t stop
I need some time, I need control, I need your love
I wanna find out everything I need to know

I’m gonna say everything that I need to say
Although you’ve taken everything I need away
I’m gonna take you to the place I need to go
We’re all just walkin’ through this darkness on our own

Beating like a heart
I’m gonna walk through every doorway, I can’t stop
I need some time, I need control, I need your love
I wanna find out everything I need to know

I’m gonna say everything that I need to say
Although you’ve taken everything I need away
I’m gonna take you to the place I need to go
We’re all just walkin’ through this darkness on our own

We’re all just walkin’ through this darkness on our own
We’re all just walkin’ through this darkness on our own

You Are Invited  Dismemberment Plan

I got it in the mail one morning
There was no return address
Just my name in gold leaf on the front
There was no time or location
There was really no info at all
No date no place no time no RSVP
But it said:
You are invited by anyone to do anything
You are invited for all time…
I didn’t think much about it
It seemed like a really dumb joke
But later that week it was Friday‒once again
So I took it down to a disco
That wouldn’t have me in am million years
I flashed it once and I was inside with a drink
I really didn’t stay too long there
‘Cause no one was having much fun
I made my way to a party all the way across town
It was thrown by the friend of an ex-thing
I wasn’t sure if I should go
But when I got in the place there were smiles all up and down
I grabbed my ex in the kitchen
I told her I was sorry I came
But she looked at me with a glazed smile and said:
You are invited by anyone to do anything
You are invited for all time…
You are so needed by everyone to do everything
You are invited for all time
I headed home kinda early
The party wasn’t all that great
I saw my neighbor out crying on his front porch
I stopped to see what his deal was
I couldn’t catch much through the sobs
Something about a party and he didn’t go
I thought about it for a second
The invite in my hand
I threw it down at his feet and I said:
You are invited by anyone to do anything
You are invited for all time
You are so needed if you really want to go
You are invited for all time
For all time

Say I had a lovely time  Miracle Legion

You and your groovy friends are welcome anytime
Just bring a T-shirt and swim trunks
You can stay as long as you like
‘Cause we’re well-rested and tested and the keys are on the counter
And we can speak a hundred tongues
But where you’re from it doesn’t really matter

Just as long as you say “I had a lovely time”
Just as long as you say “I had a lovely time”

Well they’re requesting the honor of your presence at the hotel
It’s just a handwritten sign, I hope you don’t mind

‘Cause we’re well-rested and tested and the keys are on the counter
And we can speak a hundred tongues
But where you’re from it doesn’t really matter

Just as long as you say “I had a lovely time”
Just as long as you say “I had a lovely time”

She might be twelve
But she could be thirteen
She knows the way to hell
Because she’s already been

Brought us a six of Coca-Cola
As a sinner you’re a winner, you’re a natural
‘Cause we’re well-rested and tested and the keys are on the counter
And we can speak a honey tongue
But where you’re from it doesn’t really matter

Just as long as you say “I had a lovely time”
Well a-just as a-just as long
Just as long as you say “I had a lovely time”

Pink Bullets   The Shins

I was just bony hands as cold as a winder pole
You held a warm stone out new flowing blood to hold
Oh what a contrast you were
To the brutes in the halls
My timid young fingers held a decent animal

Over the ramparts you tossed
The scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
Tied to a brick, sweet as a song
The years have been short but the days were long

Cool of a temperate breeze from dark skies to wet grass
We fell in a field, it seems now a thousand summers passed
When our kite lines first crossed
We tied them into knots
And to finally fly apart we had to cut them off

Since then it’s been a book you read in reverse
So you understand less as the pages turn
Or a movie so crass and awkwardly cast
That even I could be the star

I don’t look back much as a rule
And all this way before murder was cool
But your memory is here and I’d like it to stay
Warm light on a winter’s day

Over the ramparts you tossed
The scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
Tied to a brick, sweet as a song
The years have seemed short but the days go slowly by
Two loose kites falling from the sky
Drawn to the ground and an end to flight

Trailer Trash  Modest Mouse

Eating snow flakes with plastic forks
And a paper plate of course
You think of everything

Short love with a long divorce
And a couple of kids of course
They don’t mean anything

Live in trailers with no class
God damn, I hope I can pass
High school means nothing

Taking heartache with hard work
God damn, I am such a jerk
I can’t do anything

And I shout that you’re all fakes
And you should have seen the look on your face
And I guess that’s what it takes
When comparing your belly aches

And it’s been a long time
Which agrees with this watch of mine
And I know that I miss you
And I’m sorry if I dissed you

Eating snow flakes with plastic forks
And a paper plate of course
You think of everything

Short love with a long divorce
And a couple of kids of course
They don’t mean anything

Live in trailers with no class
God damn, I hope I can pass
High school means nothing

Taking heartache with hard work
God damn, I am such a jerk
I can’t do anything

And I shout that you’re all fakes
And you should have seen the look on your face
And I guess that’s what it takes
When comparing your belly aches

And it’s been a long time
Which agrees with this watch of mine
And I guess that I miss you
And I’m sorry if I dissed you

Song for the dumped  Ben Folds Five

So you wanted
To take a break
Slow it down some and
Have some space
Well f* you too

Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You bitch
I want my money back
And don’t forget to give
Me back my black t-shirt

I wish i hadn’t bought you
Dinner
Right before you dumped me
On your front porch

Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You bitch
I want my money back
And don’t forget to give
Me back my black t-shirt

So you wanted
To take a break
Slow it down some and
Have some space
Well f* you too

Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You bitch
I want my money back
And don’t forget to give
Me back my black t-shirt