“To be a slightly better version of myself”.
After years of failed New Years Resolutions, I may finally have one I can achieve.
I know the metrics will be tricky – but I’m starting from a pretty low bar – so a quick on-line Twitter poll might be enough to see if I made it.
I’ve had multiple unachieved NY resolutions, most with specific metrics; but one year I achieved my resolution to cut my drinking 25% by pouring out three ounces of every beer I opened.
I’m a big metrics guy – I measure my height and shoe size every morning – but it hasn’t helped in the annual quest to become a ‘better me’:
The year I resolved to lose 20 pounds, which I tried to make more achievable by gaining the ‘Santa 25’ during the Christmas holidays;
To make 50% more friends, which would have meant a lunch table for three;
But resolving to lose 15% of my hair was a breeze, and made checking the shower drain a cause for daily celebration!
If we are honest with ourselves, we admit our past is littered with failed resolutions, because we aren’t honest with ourselves.
And if we are truly honest, we’ll forget all this resolution nonsense and get on with our lives.
Honestly:
We’re human! Since we got through evolution, people haven’t changed;
We’re human! We have short attention spans (begins to wonder about topic for next week’s post);
We’re human! Our time here is limited, let’s enjoy ourselves while we can.
That’s one of the lessons of Christmas, the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, which is discarded like an old dishrag at 12:01A on the 26th: What have you done for me lately?
Presents unwrapped, ignored, and soon to be returned; inflatable santas and snowmen deflated on the front lawn; and mall santas hit with unserved arrest warrants on 12/26, once they’ve outlived their usefulness.
Christmas cards used as fireplace kindling – who were those people anyway? Do you think he’s the real father?
Christmas movies finally over. After enough Hallmark movies, I’m rooting for the heartless developer, and what’s up with Nick the bartender?
And who knew Bing Crosby was a transgender version of Marlene Dietrich?
Christmas music suddenly gone until next year. But how many times can one listen to the death metal version of “Charlie Brown’s Christmas”?
The plus side is no longer hearing “All I want for Christmas is You”; On the other plus side, it will still be played on repeat by the Ukrainians to make Russian captives spill their secrets.
So, for those paying attention, the ‘life lesson’ is: We’re all temporary and discardable, and never invest in something that doesn’t really exist.
Sorry, that last thing was about crypto. But if you’re interested. I have a Mariah Carey NFT, cheap.
To recap: take nothing for granted.
Or, as Jim Morrison sang: “Woke up this morning and had myself a beer – the future’s uncertain and the end is always near”.
So, what’s the point?
The point is, don’t fool yourself into thinking your resolution(s) will make you a better person – there’s no ‘better you’ at the end of this charade.
Which I’m sure matches the way one feels after a big New Years Eve.
The quickest way to prepare your resolutions is to change the 2 to a 3 for 2023.
Or, do your best to prepare resolutions that will make you a ‘better you’ – optimism never helped anyone!
Me, I’m going to start working on what I’m giving up for Lent.
Maybe 50% less beer on Thursdays?
For 145 more posts like this –each with a dissolving resolution – go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or, at the site, leave a comment on this post, and then check the box that says “Please notify me of future posts” and you will be sent the newest Sunday update automatically.
Easier yet, when you read a post, after 15 seconds you’ll be given the chance to become a subscriber: Life gets better and better!
Or just forward this to everyone you know. Forward it to those you aren’t fond of twice.
TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENTOF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
Cleanse Song Bright Eyes
Hear the chimes, did you know that the wind when it blows
It is older than Rome and all of this sorrow
See the new Pyramids down in old Manhattan
From the roof of a friend I watched an empire ending
Heard it loud and long, the river’s song
Time marching on, to a mad man’s drum
Don’t forget what you’ve learned
All you give is returned
And if life seems absurd
What you need is some laughter
And a season to sleep
And a place to get clean
Maybe Los Angeles
Somewhere no one’s expecting
On a detox walk
Over Glendale Park
Over sidewalk chalk
Some rope read “start over”
So I muffle my scream
On an Oxnard beach
Full of fever dreams that scare me sober
Into saltless dinners
Take the fruit from the tree, break the skin with your teeth
Is it bitter or sweet all depends on your timing
Like a meeting of chance
With the train station glance
Many lifetimes have passed in a instant reminded
Of a millstone house in a seaside town
When your heart gave out in a mission bed
So your wife gave birth to a funeral dirge
You woke up purged as a wailing infant
In Krug Thep, Thailand
Hear the chimes, did you know that the wind when it blows
It is older than Rome and our joy and our sorrow
Sweet Things Danny Michel
Counting out quarters at the record shop
London Calling and the Pressure Drop
Skipping double dutch with your sister’s friends
The landlord’s calling for the rent again
If all I have is all I need
And all I need is all I have
Then why is all I ever want is more
Why can’t I see the sweet things until they’re all gone
Sitting on the grass at your mother’s grave
Staring at the letters that spell my name
Stars still shine in a sky blue sky
You just gotta look with better eyes
I lay face down in the summer dirt
My ear pressed into the conducting earth
I hear radio waves and ghosts that fizzle and fade
It’s ten years later now
You said I wondered about your age
I said I got ID’d today
You said “ya, I get that too
It’s like we’ll never die
Just grow younger every day”
Shoebox photos and birthday cards
I’ve got an old tube amp and no guitar
Living in a Salvation Army shoe
All we had was me and you
God’s Going to cut you Down Johnny Cash
… Oh my God
… You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God’ll cut you down
Sooner or later God’ll cut you down
… Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell ’em that God’s gonna cut ’em down
Tell ’em that God’s gonna cut ’em down
… Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news
My head’s been wet with the midnight dew
I’ve been down on bended knee
Talkin’ to the man from Galilee
… He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel’s feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, “John, go do my will!”
… Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell ’em that God’s gonna cut ’em down
Tell ’em that God’s gonna cut ’em down
… You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God’ll cut you down
Sooner or later God’ll cut you down
… Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin’ in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What’s down in the dark will be brought to the light
… You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God’ll cut you down
Sooner or later God’ll cut you down
… Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell ’em that God’s gonna cut you down
Tell ’em that God’s gonna cut you down
Tell ’em that God’s gonna cut you down
Just look for sunshine
To burn in full time
To be filled with hatred
For the time I’ve wasted
And I’m so impatient
For a new sensation
God knows what I thought I’d do
I bit my own sweet heart in two
All My Life Evan Dando
All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
My life
I thought I wanted all the things I didn’t want at all
Just to hold my heart beat
In a box by my feet
To be filled with glory
To speak a story
Can you feel the thunder
From the cloud I’m under
God knows how will I get through
I bit my own sweet heart and blew it
All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
My life
I thought I wanted all the things I didn’t want at all
My life I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
My life I thought I wanted all the things I didn’t want at all
My life I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
My life I thought I wanted all the things I didn’t want at all
Extraction Point Mountain Goats One of my favorite bands (aging hipster alert!) with a fine new album in 2022
You never learn to tell the difference between
The probable projections and the best parts of the dream
The fragments that stick with you
The ones you really feel
Those parts aren’t real
But high in the cold Midwestern air
They shimmer before us there
Almost out of reach but not quite
Stay up thinking about it all night
Waited so long for days like these
I’m tired of living on my knees
Pull your hair back tight, head right for the extraction point
And if you don’t hear from me let them all go free
I’m on the Kennedy Expressway at dawn
Don’t know where we got this car from
I’m driving with the fog lights on
The angles you don’t plan for
The things you might have missed
Those things exist
But under the waxing winter sun
I feel like we’re almost gone
Just pick a lane and drive right through
Headed off to freedom with you
Dreams of the future
Up in the front of my mind
Leave a couple dozen bodies behind
Pull your hair back tight, head right for the extraction point
And if you don’t hear from me let them all go free
Harmonia’s Dream The War on Drugs An album (I Don’t Live Here Anymore)/band I listened to a LOT this year
I can’t escape this memory
It’s like a dream, it’s got me up all night again
And you’re all that I can see
But I been here before, I’ve crossed so many roads
Never needed more than I could hold
Running and returning
In a vision, you’re a ghost in black and white
A silhouette in blue and green
I lay awake at night and wait for you to come
Been hangin’ on so hard and now I can’t let go
I’m in a rollin’ wave
That moves across the line
Am I losin’ my faith?
We’re gonna lose it in time
Leaves are falling down like rain
In the mornin’, I just stand alone outside
And I watch ’em blow away
It’s so hard to find a friеnd these days
Oh, babe, I’m sinkin’
Summеr comes and rain gets in
It’s like I’m lookin’ through the glass on the other side
I’m not tryna make you wait
But I don’t need it anymore, and I can’t turn back
And give it all away when it’s all I have
I’m in a rollin’ wave
That moves across the line
Am I losin’ my faith?
We’re gonna lose it in time
Sometimes forwards is the only way back
To reach the hill in time
I was lost in the light that can’t be seen
Don’t move around in front of me
I’m on a scene, I’m overdrive
You lay awake, you know the way
You know the path I’m walkin’ on
Are we the cast you’re leanin’ on?
You know the coast, you’re on your own
Well, I’m gone like a light that can’t be seen
Don’t look away, it’s just a dream
I’m out of touch, so out of reach
It’s comin’ back and I’m movin’ fast
Just one more day and I’m home at last
I need that love I’m dreamin’ on
I know the cost
You’re on your own
Oh-oh
You’re on your own
Oh-oh
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