Christmas a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus – with family and friends, and heaps of gratitude sprinkled throughout.

But for me it’s also time to reflect on the past year: Did I use the year given me by God wisely?

I’ve known those who do a financial reconciliation to see how their net worth changed.

Those who do a personal health review, to monitor any potential ‘organ recital’ topics.

But a great use of our time is evaluating relationships: How do I treat strangers? Friends? Family?

I’m a morning beach walker, a ‘friendly waver’, with ear buds in, minimizing human contact.

My Captor the opposite: Most of our beach friends the result of her beach conversations. 

But as the year unfolded, I’ve made an effort to introduce myself to those I normally just wave to, and have collected some – some, not as many as My Captor would have, but progress – of their personal stories.

And as My Captor reminds me, those conversations might be the highlight of their day …

My other ‘stranger effort’ is bringing back “Hello”, saying it to those walking by on the street. You get some unusual reactions: Strange looks, sideway glances, but encouragingly, most people return the hello – hopefully paying it forward.

But the learning: Be friendly, you might make a friend.

Evaluating current friend relationships mildly painful, beginning with “When was the last time I talked to ”..”, struggling for an answer.

And of course, that begats a New Years Resolution: Keep in better touch with my friends!

Which My Captor routinely does, preserving relationships with even her high school friends. She gift gives, makes phone calls, and has a prayer chain for those friends (and extended families) who are expecting, or in need of a Divine Ear.

A personal benefit is my weekly post, prompting comments. people reaching out to me, which I truly enjoy – though I don’t always reply. 

But the friends learning remains annually consistent: Be a better friend and keep in touch – to have a friend, be a friend.

My family evaluation is currently in flux.

As you know, we lost our youngest child, Danny on September 13th. I don’t think I’m overstating it as “a bomb went off in the family”, and we’re all dealing with the impact, each in our own way.

A parent’s job is to worry about their children until they worry about you.

And while we’re worried about our two single sons, we’re also worried about their 3 siblings as well. And our daughter and sons in law, who often get ignored in the ‘grief equation’.

And I’m worried about My Captor. And I’m worried about me. 

Beyond worrying, I’m not sure what to do, other than get up each morning and go forward. Though we’ve been sent books on grief, read about ‘grief solutions’ on the internet, and have learned fun little sayings like: Grief never leaves you, you carry it forward! See, fun!

Ultimately, our resolution to honor Dan by living our best lives, nurtured by ‘Dan memories’.

But my family learning: If you want to give God a laugh, tell him your plans: Because they may not happen. 

We lost Dan at 33, he had great relationships throughout the family, so no regrets there. He knew – but perhaps didn’t completely believe – how much he was loved.

My lesson: If you have a loved one you haven’t told you love them lately, say it now.

Always say it now.

Life is both a precious – and fragile – commodity. If you take any of this for granted, you clearly aren’t paying attention.

In closing, we are reminded of what a gift it is to be able to wake up each day and appreciate the little things that make life sweet. We honor God, ourselves – and our Danny boy – by making the most of each day.

Merry Christmas!

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