ONLY 152 DAYS…

The family would load up in the car and head to Benson.

It was the Friday night after Thanksgiving, and Benson – a small business district near our house – would be decorated with Christmas lights. The first look! They’d be hung on streetlights, and there’d even be spanners over the streets – amazed at how beautiful it was.

And the shops would be decorated too, done that Friday.

The amazement annual, the anticipation weeks in the making.

I was only 6 or 7 at the time, so Christmas a magical time – made more magical by the unofficial ban on Christmas decorations until Thanksgiving, and this Friday trip the debut.

It was a different time – obviously. Benson was maybe an 8-block walk, and it had everything a kid could need, or want. 

We’d walk there on Saturday morning without a parental or police escort, head to the card shop to see if the next Topps series had dropped, on to the toy shop to just look – too expensive – and then head to Benson Bakery to get glazed donuts. Amazing sugary fat pills, which I can still taste…

We’d then stop at Jerry’s Bar for an RC Cola to eat with our donuts – sugar the perfect accompaniment to sugar.

But sugar was still a health food, and this the beginning of my PA donut obsession.

Benson was also home to our dentist, the site of a few 12 cavity visits, likely the result of under fluoridation.

Later Benson hit ‘hard’ times, we grew out of our Saturday morning walks. But it was the site of Ross’ Grocery, where a high school classmate bought beer dressed as a priest, and a bar with a pinball machine (kids, ask your parents), where my brother and I misspent our youth. It was also where my sister met her husband, so some redeeming value…

All this became full frontal lobe when a news item talked about “5 months to Christmas”, and the now happening Christmas sales, continuing the trend of ever earlier annual Christmas reveals.

I remember the outrage when Christmas decorations went up pre-Thanksgiving (Father shook fist angrily!), and the debate/outrage over stores opening on Sunday.

And don’t get me started on the Designated Hitter! (A designee shakes their fist angrily for me!)

But you know how it turned out: Christmas decorations in July – though I’m good with Hallmark’s ‘Christmas in July’ movies – stores open 24/7, and next year Robot Umpires.

Things change, I guess. Some better, some worse.  

But as I consider the lack of national ‘holiday patience’, I could launch an Old Man Rant, or respond in a mature way – or both.

Old Man Rant (OMR): Be patient, wait until December! Don’t care if you’re trying to “beat the tariffs”, you’ll ruin the season by not waiting!

You’re ruining the other holidays too: It’s only July and they’re taking down Halloween and Thanksgiving displays to put up Christmas! Easter went up in January and the Peeps got stale.

But leave National Pirate Day where it is:  6 months of “Arrrr, Matey” would be too much.

Mature Response: Whatever, nothing I can do about your lack of patience. Blame it on businesses starting ‘Christmas in July’ sales, go ahead and hang your Christmas decorations and buy your gifts whenever you’d like. And have you bought your pirate eye patch?

The good news: Christmas year-round not the worst thing.

The other good news: Benson’s made a comeback from ‘hard’ times, now a happening spot – even with Christmas lights in July.

The other possible good news: Christmas spirit an everyday thing…

For 302 more posts like this –each with a wish for fewer Christmas lights– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

It’s July! I haven’t added ‘Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree’ or ‘All I Want for Christmas’ to the BATN playlist. You’ll be beaten about the head and neck with them post-Thanksgiving. But, if you’re so inclined, ‘Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis’ by Tom Waits is a good listen and on there.