NOTES FROM CAPTIVITY – DAY BAZILLION +2 DRAFT BEER!

I’ve had the weirdest, nagging feeling lately – like something was missing, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  And then it hit me: I haven’t had a draft beer in months. Months.

I’ve had beer, but not a beer drawn from the tap. Haven’t been able to pull a stool up to the bar, not able to go out for lunch and have a tasty craft beer with my sandwich, not able to have a beer with oysters at dinner. (Upon further reflection, maybe it’s oysters I’m missing, but that would screw up the title of the blog, so draft beer it is). And no draft beer with eggs in the morning – for those who are so inclined. If captivity had started sooner I might have been able to at least claim giving up draft beer for Lent, but not so much.

Many might argue that growlers have been available, but while that is beer on tap, it seems like a different, less satisfying, thing. And it might trigger Old Man Rant (OMR) #44: The price/value relationship of growlers – you better be getting something you really like!

Many, or most of you, are now saying: Like so many of these posts all that is true, but not particularly interesting. What difference does it make? Well, Memorial Day is a particularly poignant time to remember those who fought to defend our right to draft beer (and some other freedoms, of course).  From liberating Germany to preserve Oktoberfest, defending the Alamo for a cold Dos Equis, and bombing Hiroshima to sip on a Sapporo, service men and women have fought for our right to draft beer – that’s what difference it makes!

 And based upon all the ‘news’ reports I see on “exotic dreaming” – no, not what you’re thinking, the vivid, colorful dreams that are being reported as a captivity phenomenon – I wish I could tell you about my exotic draft beer dreams. And if I could, they might include: Waterskiing on a Lake Tahoe filled completely with draft beer; Crawling through the desert to an oasis, and continuing on as there is only water, no draft beer; Getting my dream job and being paid in White Claw – and waking  up scraping my tongue . Or my exotic draft beer nightmare: 100 taps, no IPA! (OMR#3).

But I’m not experiencing dreams or nightmares, unless you count the waking nightmare we are all sharing. Wonder if that’s a personal problem – hopefully not a C19 symptom. But I do envy those who claim to be dreaming in color, though personally I believe those to be acid flashbacks.

And while we’re dealing with pressing captivity issues – and items that are true but not interesting – I have a confession to make: I cut my hair. Myself. Without looking, or using a mirror. And it gets worse – I then asked someone how they liked my haircut, which I had never before done, in my entire life. But I cut it quickly, and avoided falling victim to OMR #53: You can cut my hair in 7 minutes or less!,  which I deliver to my Great Clips ‘stylist’ whenever I go in for a cut (OMR #54: Don’t touch my eyebrows, I’m going for the Nutty Professor look!).  I recommend it, but avoid mirrors for a while.

But I will look ‘sharp’ when I finally get that first draft beer! Our forefathers would demand it!