NOTES FROM CAPTIVITY: CHAPTERS

Chapters end. Chapters begin.

If our life was a book, it would consist of a whole bunch of chapters.

Relationships. Jobs. Careers. Birth, Death – -you’re likely doing a better job of calling up the possible chapters than I’ve done, but you get the picture. Or the Manuscript.

As we read a book we understand that each new chapter advances the plot. Do we have the same perspective on the chapters in our lives?

This is top of mind for me now because our daughter left her job to become a full time Mother – – how redundant is that title? – – which as you can imagine, was a tough decision. I am clearly biased, as my Captor was a “stay at home Mom”, but I believe she made a great career decision – and will write a rewarding next chapter.

But we also know someone who is experiencing some ‘job turbulence’, which is a chapter in our lives that is stressful while it’s being written, but more frequently than not, progresses to a happier chapter. But it can be hard to convince ourselves of that as we live through it.

Many chapters can be pretty miserable – sort of like a long bus ride sitting next to Albert Camus.

But there’s the rub – – unlike a book, we don’t know how this ends.

If Karma were fair, life would be like Chutes and Ladders: When we did good, a ladder would allow us to ‘advance’. When we did bad, a chute would push us back as a form of punishment. As we all know from that guy who cuts in line, it ain’t that clean.

But sometimes the ladders can atone (partially) for the chutes.

We have friends who suffered the staggering loss of their son last fall, and came to SSI to heal, earlier this year. Our chapters intersected at that point, and while I know how much we enjoyed ours, I believe their chapter was a small ladder, as they reconnected with family, and friends. That it was possible speaks to human resilience and their amazing resolve.

In real life, the chutes are random, and generally, unexpected. Some are truly serious, but most of them are never as bad as they feel at the time (don’t sweat the small stuff…).

While that randomness seems unfair, as Descartes the famous philosopher said: “Tough”.  To be fair, he was Dutch and I don’t do Dutch, so that is a loose translation. He was also the “Father of Geometry” (and the “Father of Modern Philosophy” – this guy was the Bill Clinton of the 17^th century), and one hell of a billiards player.    

And not to go all ‘Descartesy’ on you, but he also said “I think, therefore I am”, and predicted the Bucs would win the Super Bowl – last October! He was clearly a smart dude. He was also a devout Catholic and believed in the concept of eternal life. (Editor’s note: If this were a Wikipedia entry, that last thing would say “Needs further documentation”, but it fits with what I’m talking about, so there’s that. As I said, I don’t read Dutch).

The eternal life thing is the ladder many of us cling to, and the assumed happy ending to our books. And just knowing that ladder is out there gives us courage to soldier on, and keep writing.

But none of that changes the cruel fact that the chutes are random. Incredibly random.

So keep your mind tidy, your affairs in order, and your underwear clean. And your loved ones close.

And remember the words of my favorite writer: “If you take any of this for granted, you clearly ain’t paying attention.”

TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

Can’t Stand Losing  The Police

“You’ll be sorry when I’m dead, All this guilt will be on your head”

“Love, Love, Love” The Mountain Goats

“Some things you do for money, Some things you do for love.

The things you do for love will come back to you, one by one”

Pink Bullets  The Shins

“I don’t look back much, as a rule.

 Since then it’s like a book you read in reverse, You understand less and less as the pages turn”

Land Ho  The Doors

“Well I woke up this morning and I had myself a beer. The futures uncertain and the end is always near”

Way Down  Allen Toussaint

“The same dudes you misuse on the way up, you might meet up…on the way down”

Young at Heart  Frank Sinatra

“Fairy Tales can come true, It can happen to you, If you’re young at heart,

For it’s hard you will find, to be narrow of mind, If you’re young at heart”

(My father-daughter dance with Emily)

Forever Young  Bob Dylan

“May God bless and keep you always. May your wishes all come true,

May you always do for others, and let others do for you,

May you build a ladder to the stars, and climb on every rung,

And may you stay forever young”

(My father-daughter dance with Katharine, and played at my wedding with My Captor)