NICE JOB, DOC

How do you know your dentist did a good job?

They’re a lot like OB/GYN doctors – you really only notice – and need them – in the event something goes wrong. Nurses/Technicians doing the real work.

I approached my recent dental appointment with apprehension: With occasional pain in an upper tooth, I was worried it would require a root canal and crown. Like last year. A dental ‘emergency’.  

I will leave you on the edge of your seat – Root canal or no? -while you read last year’s dental post:

DENTAL IMPRESSIONS

But it occurred to me: Maybe the dentist won’t notice the issue, the x-rays will miss it, and I can get out of there until next year. And screw him out of the fees.

As an aside, my every 3-year visit schedule now annual plus a week, so insurance ‘pays’ for the x-rays. Shakes fist excitedly! ‘Free’ x-rays!

It also occurred to me: What if there’s an issue and they don’t find it – then I’d be screwed. Sometimes it’s hard to know who to root for…

She did x-rays, but only after asking me to remove the tin foil I’d put over the ‘offending tooth’. I tried ‘evasive’ actions to hide ‘the’ tooth, which made the x-rays look like a squiggly map of the French Quarter. She did them again, which means I’ll probably get cancer from the increased radiation. I might have been better off just taking the root canal.

But the ‘radiation blanket’ inspirational: A John Wayne pic with “You can lick the Big C too!”

Fortunately, she didn’t see anything – other than Commander’s Palace – and the cleaning time reduced from last year. So a double win.

And a triple win, because the offending tooth no longer offending. I wish I could do that with my hip…

But after the technician had done all the real work, the dentist blew in and told me my teeth looked fine because I didn’t drink a lot of acidic drinks – Grateful Dead shows scaring me off that stuff.

But I left slightly wanting: I still miss the spit sink.

Though it made me wonder how I know if he – or anyone – did a good job.

It’s easy to know when someone does a bad job, but at times confusing:

You can definitely tell when airline pilot does a bad job, but turbulence better than flying into the side of a mountain. But a good, arriving safely. And an extra bag of peanuts, a tasty surprise for later…

If you receive an IRS audit ‘invitation’, you know it’s your CPA or tax prep software – it can’t be you claiming 3 of your neighbor’s children as dependents. But who knows if you should have gotten a larger refund? No one works at the IRS anymore, so take that deduction…

If your car won’t start – or catches fire – it might be your auto mechanic. Or maybe some unpaid bets. But it can be good, turning up the radio loud enough to cover that weird clicking noise…  

If your doctor tells you you’ve got incurable prostate cancer – and you’re 15 pounds overweight and ugly when you ask for a second opinion – that’s bad.  

Your priest or minister convincing you not to covet your neighbor’s wife, is good. I think.

But perhaps the most confusing, the mortician.  

Good: A good-looking corpse for an open casket, Bad: A good-looking corpse for an open casket. Morticians have a very tough job. But do it in such a soothing voice…

Good, bad – who knows?

All I know, my tooth doesn’t hurt that often, and ‘free’ x-rays!

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Why “Beers at the Nifty”?

For 292 more posts like this –each with a wish for cleaner teeth– go to beersatthenifty.com. 

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ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

Smerz is a Norwegian electronic group, unknown to me until Pitchfork gave their new album an 8.6 rating. Two women, who look very Norwegian. Electronic not my speed, but some highlights added to the BATN playlist: ‘You got time and I got money’ ‘Big City Life’ ‘Roll the Dice’ and ‘A Thousand Lies’. Almost sounds hypnogogic.