What happened to Tuesday?
While researching post songs, I listened to a possible on YouTube.
Before I knew it, it was Wednesday.
After listening to the song, I watched 6 live versions – each recorded on a different continent, spent an hour watching SNL Celebrity Jeopardy, checked out several ‘fun’ wedding reception videos – note to self: never bring a donkey to anything with a DJ – learned to make authentic Portuguese dishes the American way, and viewed a documentary about wasting time on YouTube.
That last thing was clearly ‘Disinformation’, so I alerted my congressman.
One can find anything on YouTube: Winston Churchill’s pre-school graduation, the Lincoln-Douglas debates, even an argument I had with my parents in 1971.
I waited until I was alone to check out the ‘adult’ section, where I found videos on how to refinance your mortgage, a laugh a minute explanation of the alternative minimum tax, and tips on removing ear wax without damaging your hearing. Speak up!
By the end, I’d forgotten the song I’d chosen, but found a recap of the results of the upcoming November midterm elections, which reinforced my faith in Democracy.
YouTube, like most of my life to this point, is an elaborate waste of time.
Yes, the internet is the ultimate waste of time, but with connections “at the speed of awesome”. Note: Today’s post sponsored by Xfinity.
I’m not a Tweetie, but now and again will read an article that links to a comment from Twitter; I once read the comments below – never again!
A group of commenters were very angry about something, and I agreed with them to fit in. Then the other side targeted me, The Mob death threated me, and now I’m in protective custody.
But I’m grateful for their ‘feedback’: So much in my past to apologize for, so little time.
While on Twitter, I noticed thousands of ‘Bots’, making me wonder how many users there really are. Other note: Today’s post is co-sponsored by the Elon Musk Twitter Defense fund.
I knew the internet was a time-wasting rabbit hole, but I wanted to relate to ‘kids today’ (shakes fist angrily), so I tried some apps.
Instagram is fun – -I now follow 7 people – and 7,245 companies.
But the posts are all ‘happy moment videos’; apart from the bar mitzvah videos featuring a DJ and donkeys, nothing bad happens.
I downloaded TikTok, but was surprised by the welcome note from the Chinese government; it was the only user agreement that threatened labor camp banishment for violating their terms of service.
I dis-installed TikTok when I noticed the 30 second clips were shortening my attention span.
Wait, where was I?
I decided to join Facebook, but it took me several tries to correctly ‘check the squares with a Kardashian’, but was told I exceeded their ‘old people’ limit, and was turned away.
Maybe I’m the last to notice, but the internet is truly evil. Note: Xfinity responsible for “connection at the speed of awesome”, not content.
I hated what it was doing to me: OMG, Speaking in acronyms, whispering insults to remain ‘anonymous’, and accepting all those cookies made me feel used.
Not being technologically proficient, I accidentally canceled myself over something I posted.
In the midst of my Old Man Rant, My Captor reminded me that the internet is a ‘necessary evil’, that it offers many good things – like much of progress, we take bad with the good.
I had to admit, I do love on-line banking… and even Hitler gave us the VW.
OMG, WTF, SWR!
My Captor’s advice? Calm down dear, go check out the new donkey party videos on YouTube…
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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
Digital Witness St. Vincent
Get back, to your seat
Get back, gnashing teeth
Ooh, I want all of your mind
People turn the TV on, it looks just like a window, yeah
People turn the TV on, it looks just like a window, yeah
Digital witnesses, what’s the point of even sleeping?
If I can’t show it, if you can’t see me
What’s the point of doing anything?
This is no time for confessing
I want all of your mind
People turn the TV on and throw it out the window, yeah
Get back to your stare
I care, but I don’t care
Oh oh, I, I want all of your mind
Give me all of your mind
I want all of your mind
Give me all of it
Digital witnesses, what’s the point of even sleeping?
If I can’t show it, if you can’t see me
What’s the point of doing anything?
What’s the point of even sleeping?
So I stopped sleeping, yeah I stopped sleeping
Won’t somebody sell me back to me?
Psycho Killer Talking Heads
I can’t seem to face up to the facts
I’m tense and nervous and I can’t relax
I can’t sleep ’cause my bed’s on fire
Don’t touch me, I’m a real live wire
Psycho Killer
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, better
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away, oh-oh-oh
Psycho Killer
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, better
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run away, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ay-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya, ooh
You start a conversation, you can’t even finish it
You’re talking a lot, but you’re not saying anything
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed
Say something once, why say it again?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they’re not polite
Shell Games Bright Eyes
Took the fireworks and the vanity
The circuit board and the city streets
Shooting star, swaying palm tree
Laid it at the arbiter’s feet
If I could change my mind, change the paradigm
Prepare myself for another life
Forgive myself for the many times
I was cruel to something helpless and weak
I was dressed in white, touched by something pure
Death obsessed like a teenager
Sold my tortured youth, piss and vinegar
I’m still angry with no reason to be
At the architect who imagined this
For the everyman, blessed Sisyphus
Slipping steadily into madness
Now that’s the only place to be free
No, I don’t want to play
It’s a shell game, it’s a shell game
Distorted sounds on oscilloscopes
Distorted facts, I could never cope
My private life is an inside joke
No one will explain it to me
We’ll be everything that we ever needed
Everyone, on the count of three!
Everyone, on the count of three!
All together now!
Here it comes, that heavy love
We’re never going to move it alone
Here it comes, that heavy love
Playing as the cylinder rolls
Here it comes, that heavy love
I only want to share in the load
Here it comes, that heavy love
I’m never going to move it alone
Nameless Faceless Courtney Barnett
Don’t you have anything better to do
I wish that someone could hug you
Must be lonely
Being angry, feeling over-looked
You sit alone at home in the darkness
With all the pent-up rage that you harness
I’m real sorry
‘Bout whatever happened to you
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Men are scared that women will laugh at them
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Women are scared that men will kill them
I hold my keys
Between my fingers
He said “I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup
And spit out better words than you”
But you didn’t
Man, you’re kidding yourself if you think
The world revolves around you
You know you got lots to give
And so many options
I’m real sorry
‘Bout whatever happened to you
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Men are scared that women will laugh at them
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Women are scared that men will kill them
I hold my keys
Between my fingers
Go on, tell me
You’re just kidding
He said, she said
Nameless, faceless
Heroes Jill Sobule
Why are all our heroes so imperfect
Why do they always bring me down
Why are all our heroes so imperfect
The statue in the park has lost his crown
William Faulkner drunk and depressed
Dorothy Parker mean, drunk and depressed
And that guy in Seven Years in Tibet turned out to be a Nazi
The founding fathers all had slaves
The explorers slaughtered the braves
The old testament God can be so petty
Paul McCartney jealous of John, even more so now that he’s gone
Dylan was so mean to Donovan in that movie
Pablo Picasso cruel to his wives
My favorite poets took their own lives
Orson Welles peaked at 25, ballooned before our eyes
And he sold bad wine
Heard Babe Ruth was full of malice
Lewis Carroll I’m sure did Alice
Plato in the cave with those very young boys
TS Elliott hated Jews, FDR didn’t save the Jews
All the French joined the resistance after the war
Raymond Chandler drunk and depressed
Tennessee Williams drunk and depressed
Think I’ll just get drunk and depressed
Why are you on facebook? Van Morrison
Why are you on Facebook?
Why do you need second-hand friends?
Why do you really care who’s trending?
Or is there something you’re defending?
Get a life, is it that empty and sad?
Or are you after something you can’t have?
You kiss the girls and run away
Now you won’t come out to play
Did you miss your 15 minutes of fame?
Or do you not have any shame?
Or is it some kind of twisted game?
Put yourself in the frame
For what some people work very hard to attain
Or are you looking for a scapegoat to blame?
‘Cause you’re a failure again
Why are you on Facebook?
Why do you need those second-hand friends?
Why do you care who’s trending?
Or is it something that you’re defending?
Get a life, is it that empty and sad?
Or are you after something you can’t have?
You kiss the girls and run away
Then you won’t come out to play
Why are you on Facebook?
Why are you on Facebook?
Did you miss your 15 minutes of fame?
Don’t you have any shame?
Or is it just some kind of twisted game?
To try to put yourself in the frame
For what some people work very hard to attain
Or are you looking for a scapegoat to blame?
‘Cause you’re a failure time and time again
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