NATURE? NURTURE?

To quote my father – quoting his father – quoting his father – What’s up with kids today?

And they’re right! Kids today! (Shakes fist angrily! Shakes fist angrily! Twice? Must be serious).

Maybe it’s because today’s kids:

Are always on their phones checking social media – making them feel ‘unsafe’;

Wearing helmets riding bikes, checking the mail or going for brunch – making them feel ‘unsafe’;       

And no grade lower than A, so a 4.3 GPA good for a class ranking of 107th– making them feel unsafe – and not so smart.

We’re the ones who should have felt unsafe as kids, staring down Russian nukes, living with B/W television and dial-up internet, and adding sugar to sugared cereals.

So, what’s up with kids today?

I raised some of these kids, so I know it can’t be parenting – it must be birth order. Or Russian-bot parenting interference.

While becoming a parent is easy and lots of fun – anyone can do it! -parenting is tough.

But important work: My children tell me “I want to be like you, Dad” – I reply “Aim higher.”

‘Experts’ in child rearing say parents pay the most attention to their oldest and youngest children.

Which makes for intense – Drone style? – parenting for 2 child families – and some serious confusion for only children.

Incredible how exciting it is when that first child arrives – or how terrified new parents are realizing nothing could have prepared them, and there’s a ‘No Returns’ policy.

Parents obsessively focused on the first, demanding more of them – as they say, why have a dwarf if they don’t do chores?

As a result, they’re more mature, which helps when they’re blamed for everything their siblings do wrong.

Second-born are over-achievers, proving themselves and making the oldest look bad. But they inherit old papers and science fair projects, so their work ethic is questionable.

They’re also adept at making it their older sibling’s fault, later becoming class action litigants or social media trolls.

But children 3+ raised by ‘flyover parents’ – middle children the equivalent of Iowa, as parents put all their energy into their first child, lose interest for the next few, and then focus on the youngest, easing their guilt.

Multi-child parents even hosting an ‘annual’ birthday party, one event covering all their children, saving time.    

The 3^rd born doing what they please – parents focused more on the upcoming college football season.

They’re most likely to be sent to “Get Dad another beer”, a way for Dad to have a ‘shared activity’ with “whatever that 3^rd one’s name is”.

And children 3+ ‘benefitting’ from parental indifference: After studying parenting manuals, realizing raising successful children is all luck – if they don’t work out, it’s that kid down the street’s fault – he was a bad influence.

If this group is “In school and out of Jail” parents are satisfied. As evidence, parents usually do their oldest child’s science fair project, but can’t recall the younger children’s teacher’s names, or which school they’re attending.

This might not end well.

Unfortunately, Kids Today (that fist thing) are adept at playing the ‘Victim Card’ – think they really believe words are violence? – ending in an upcoming litigation wave, suing for compensation for ‘poor-parenting’.

Maybe parenting is the issue: Becoming a parent a very low bar – you don’t even need to be dressed- and it’s tougher to get a commercial driver’s license, or adopt a rescue dog.

And while I understand kids’ complaints – my parents caused my issues too – someday they’ll realize – as we did – that their parents helped make them who they are.

And become new and improved parents themselves.

For 216 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint to Dr. Spock’s address– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.

TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

Lucinda Williams is a great listen, and ‘Car Wheels on a gravel road’ or ‘West’ nice for Sunday. I’ve added ‘Passionate Kisses’, ‘Car Wheels on a Gravel Road’, ‘Mama You Sweet’, and ‘West’ to the BATN playlist.

Her father is Miller Willams, a poet and literature professor, who read a poem at Bill Clinton’s 2^nd inauguration. Lucinda had a stroke in 2020, but has made a strong recovery.