MY PLEASURE!

Is virtue untested virtue at all?

Our Catechism teaching the virtuous are ‘morally good’ – which somehow can only be achieved by avoiding/resisting pleasure. Plus healthy dollops of sacrifice, suffering, and ‘offering it up’ to atone for something we must have done.

Avoidance of pleasure uniquely American.

And uniquely Catholic.                                                                                                                                       

In the country’s formative years, Puritans worked hard, resisting ‘earthly’ pleasures, delaying fun to the hereafter. 

Protestants were next, entering illegally through the ‘eastern border’, adopting many Puritanical values, particularly working hard and not cracking a smile, but relaxing their ban on earthly pleasures, after realizing why there weren’t many Puritans around anymore. 

Catholics took it up a notch, using fear as a powerful motivator, the 10 Commandments a great way to limit pleasure – even some that weren’t discovered yet.

However, they relaxed the ban on ‘earthly’ pleasures, rebranded as procreation – more like a duty and less like pleasure. 

But ‘The Nuns’ – experts on “Sin: You can’t do that!”, repeatedly warned that enjoyment – or poor penmanship – would earn Jesus’ disapproval, the best forms of enjoyment risking excommunication or even death.

We confessed our ‘sins’ each Saturday, the listening Priest asking for a repeat of the juiciest details.

Our parents were also eager to limit our pleasure, because as I later learned, once you have children pleasure disappears from your life, and “Why should ‘they’ enjoy themselves when we no longer can”?

Pleasure replaced by joy, of course. And ‘fun’ kid activity weekends.

Needless to say -but I’ll say it anyway – my relationship with pleasure is complicated.

All that came to a head on a recent I-95 road trip to Virginia to attend our daughter’s 40^th birthday fete.

Any interstate road trip triggers silent prayers of “Thank you, Ike for building the highway system”, imagining Ike in a wife beater, glistening with sweat while laying asphalt in the summer sun…

But in a quiet grumble, wondering why he didn’t add a 3^rd lane in South Carolina.

The trip had odd moments:

We brought 2 bushels of oysters for the party, nervous about being stopped for transporting mollusks across state lines.

And Spotify not working due to operator error, we listened to FM radio – quickly reminded why we stopped, but the repeated Queen songs knocking a few years off Purgatory.

We briefly tried AM talk, but not even as penance…

But once we hit SC, the ‘Billboard War’ erupted, alternating between Buc-ee’s and South of the Border: The inducements we were offered! It looked beyond amazing!

I stopped at SOTB on a college spring break trip, my memories making me wonder how it’s still there, but their billboards are Burma Shave esque fun.

And I applaud their ‘cultural insensitivity’ – people need to stop finding offense everywhere they look, and learn to ignore an insult without calling the ‘Bias Response Team’…

And I want to wear a sombrero on Halloween again.

But I’ve never been to Buc-ee’s, and don’t deserve to.

Too, too much…not worthy.

Fresh brisket always available! Hundreds of gas pumps! Great food, great prices – everything you need!!! And so much you don’t!

The combination of the billboards and friends described Buc-ee’s experiences, left me with waking Beaver fever dreams.    

We sped past. My soul was saved.

The 40^th party was a blast, guests experiencing a night of pleasure.

And oysters! Guests wondering who ate the first and why – a Confession punishment? Daylight Savings Time confusion? – Finishing last in their fantasy football league?

Even I had a great time!

But please don’t tell anyone…

For 196 more posts like this –each with a wish for a dose of pleasure– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

A very eclectic group – Ween – 30 years of output ending in 2018. From “Tears for Eddie” to “Roses are Free” – a car pool song loved by the entire family – their variety astounds.

Your Party  Ween

There were beverages laid out for the party
There were candy and spices and tricolored pastas
The meat carved was drawn from succulent juices
Served on platters of the purest gold

I was calm when we arrived at the party
I spoke with fervor, embracing the evening
My wife leaned over and she whispered ‘I love you’
I held her close – we danced

Creampuffs and bourbon and the music was louder
My wife was competing in a game of chance
The party raged and the guests were screaming
I could have danced all night

Later on when we were under the covers
I closed my eyes, then I drifted to sleep
I dreamt about me maybe throwing a party
And just how great that would be

And we said
We had the best time at your party
The wife and I thank you very much
We had the best time at your party
The wife and I thank you very much