LUP-DUB

Old age stinks.

My mother-in-law’s classic line, larded with truth.

Reminding our days are numbered – but fortunately, we’re bad at math.

And while My Captor and I aren’t old old, we’re sorta old – funny how your definition of old old ‘evolves’- and dealing with occasional health issues.

Fortunately, nothing overly serious – I’m pending a root canal, my teenage acne recurs now and again – and oh yeah, My Captor just had a heart cath.

Some might view that last thing as overly serious, but it’s all in your view, is my view.

It’s the outcome of outdated tests recently re-scheduled by our cardiologist:

Against conventional wisdom, donuts and air-fried hot dogs, I came through in fine shape – See me again in 2 years! – while My Captor had some blockage, necessitating a catheterization.

As an aside, catheterization a tough spell…

The process a little weird, our cardiologist a bit of a different bird.

During my first visit, he wondered whether I’d had a previous heart attack – based upon old EEGs. Or maybe EGKs, or KGBs . I replied it was the first I’d heard of that, which seemed to reassure him.

It got more doctor-torial from there -a relief – with his very complimentary discussion of my treadmill ‘skills’: Telling me half his patients couldn’t even get on, 40% could do 2 minutes slowly, and I was in the top 5%. But after that chatter – and after seeing his waiting room – it didn’t feel like a compliment…

But a reminder that someone always has it worse, so get over whatever you think you’ve got.

Though we do trust his Doctoring skills.

But funny how your definition of ‘overly serious’ changes with time and events – and more so when it’s happening to a loved one.

Though providing another reminder that if you live long enough, every indignity will be visited upon you.

If you’re lucky.

We did a good job of minimizing the situation’s severity – or thought we did.

And the Doc helped:

The blockage had been identified mid-nuclear stress test, the tech stopping the machine, telling My Captor “All good”, then instructing her to get an appointment ahead of our scheduled follow-up.

But allowed to hold off a week for our Montreat trip, which we took as a positive sign.

Though when it came time to tell our children about the test, it provided another reminder: You worry about your children until they begin to worry about you.

And the family was nervous – though not openly, until the day of the test – so perhaps the kids are now more worried about us.

I know I get strange, concerned looks whenever they’re around…

But suffice to say, the procedure was a painless success.

Easy for me to say, of course – I was in the waiting room…

And My Captor got a turkey sandwich and parking was free, so a total success!

After a few hours we headed home.

But the final reminder that’s part of any successful medical intervention: Thank God for more living!   

Leading me to my Christmas letter exhortation:

If you take any of this for granted, you clearly aren’t paying attention…

… Every day a gift from God, and we honor Him – and ourselves – by making the most of it.

And I can say without reservation, I’m glad My Captor lived!

But admit, I wish it’d been me.

Which I guess is the definition of unconditional love…

The desire to save our loved ones any pain, any discomfort – which of course, we know is impossible – but doesn’t stop us from dreaming.

For 239 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on what COPD is– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

The Bluebells were a Scottish band active from ‘81’-86. And reforming every 4-5 years or so, and touring Scotland in December. I’ve added ‘Cath’, ‘Syracuse University’ and their big hit ‘Young at Heart’ to the BATN playlist. Thanks Alan for reviving them for me – you are the recipient of 4 free weeks of BATN! Band suggestions? E-mail me…

Lup-dub is the sound of the heart, and also a poem I wrote in high school (this is what I remember):

Earthworm play the banjo, Frog play guitar

All animals come and dance, Underneath the stars,

Animals come and have fun, Dancing to the lup-dub beat,

Lup-dub lup-dub