“If you’re not listening to music, you’re leading a sub-optimal life”.

“You can walk anywhere – if you have enough time”.

Deep thoughts from my nephew Will. A wise young man.

I listen to music 24/7, especially on beach walks, ear buds serving the dual purpose of portability and ignoring passersby.

But careful about walking and singing aloud with rap songs – you may get cancelled.

Your choice for greatest invention might be the wheel, metal detector sandals, or glazed donuts – they added even more flavor to fried dough! – but it’s definitely the IPOD.  

Allowing us to store our favorite songs – I bought CDs (kids, ask your parents) to transfer – making music portable.

I loved my IPOD, with 20,000 of my favorite songs, but it was too ‘luddite’ for modern technology – reminding me of me – too old for wireless access…

…wishing wireless access was all I lacked (Shakes fist resignedly).

While the world converted to phones for streaming and photos, I clung to my IPOD, crappy wired speakers, and Instamatic for beach sunrise photos.

My IPOD’s demise was assured by a home renovation tragedy, our in-house speaker wires cut, eventually replaced by a Sonos speaker, which looked upon my faithful IPOD with disdain and uncommunication.

Much to love about portable speakers, enabling ‘beach music’, significantly easier than bringing my receiver and speakers.

A huge upgrade from the boom boxes young people ‘shouldered’, generously sharing their cheerful f*ing music with the entire El car – this occurring in Chicago in the ‘70s, still suffering some minor hearing loss in my left ear as a result.

Symmetrical with the hearing loss suffered in my right ear, the result of the ‘young and foolish’ volume settings on my IPOD headphones.

But eventually, the 21st century called, me grudgingly joining Spotify.

Which I reluctantly confessed during an “IPODS FOREVER Anonymous” meeting, people sharing their feelings/shame about ditching the “Most Amazing Invention Ever”.   

What I didn’t share during ‘my turn to share’, was how amazing Spotify was. Fantasy fulfillment: “I wish I could hear (insert song here) now” – – You could!

And it knew me, knew what I liked – even had a name for it: ‘Jim’s Liked Songs’.

How those crazy Swedes do it, who knows – claim it’s some sort of ‘algorithm’ – but I think it’s just a distillation of personal data stolen by Google, Instagram and Apple. It’s comforting knowing they’re collecting MY data!

And Spotify Roulette’s a great party game, guests alternating their song choice – paired with beer, it qualifies as a sport.

I typically am ‘Roulette Master’, I-phoning the selections. But in a moment of contrition, must apologize for a pained reaction to a friend’s choice of Journey. Delayed sorry.

Per Will, “The Roulette Master does not judge”.

Per My Captor, “The Roulette Master shouldn’t be sharing liked songs with that neighbor woman”.

But judgment OK when a partygoer chooses the Dead’s 43-minute cover of the Beer Barrel Polka – – Cornell ’77 man, but still…

Even better, ‘Roulette’ totally confuses the algorithimist, who added “Don’t Stop Believin’” to my liked songs 12 times.

But familiarity breeds contempt – If Spotify and I were married, we’d be sleeping in separate bedrooms.

Unhappy with the ‘random’ playlist, the bands/songs it has ruined through overplaying – I’ll never listen to a US Marine Band Sousa March again – and Swedish approach to healthcare, I’m Old Man Ranting.

Which is how my IPOD relationship ended, so maybe it’s me.

But all relationships have rough patches, and we’re heading to counseling.

I think that’s right – I’m consulting the Spotify owner’s manual, which unfortunately, is in Swedish….

For 172 more posts like this –each with a wish for liked songs – go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or, at the site, leave a comment on this post, and then check the box that says “Please notify me of future posts” and you will be sent the newest Sunday update automatically.  

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Or just forward this to everyone you know. Forward it to those you aren’t fond of twice.

TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

Yo La Tengo, originally formed in Hoboken (no relation to Frank Sinatra) in 1984, has released 17 albums, a great American band. Their 2006 album had one of my favorite names: “I am not afraid of you, And I will beat your ass”.

Their 2023 release “This Stupid World” is worth a listen.

Today’s recommended song “Season of the Shark”, which I heard on a beach walk this week and pray is not an omen. As my Mother said “Find your own damn lyrics”.

The origin of their name pasted below: Even funnier given the ’62 Mets were the worst team ever.

Ira Kaplan and Georgia Hubley formed the band as a couple in 1984. They chose the name Yo La Tengo, Spanish for “I have it”. The name came from a baseball anecdote that occurred during the 1962 season, when New York Mets center fielder Richie Ashburn and shortstop Elio Chacón found themselves colliding in the outfield. When Ashburn went for a catch, he would scream, “I got it! I got it!” only to run into Chacón, a Venezuelan who spoke only Spanish. Ashburn learned to yell, “Yo la tengo! Yo la tengo!” instead. In a later game, Ashburn happily saw Chacón backing off. He relaxed, positioned himself to catch the ball, and was instead run over by left fielder Frank Thomas, who understood no Spanish and had missed a team meeting that proposed using the words “Yo la tengo!” as a way to avoid outfield collisions.[5] After getting up, Thomas asked Ashburn, “What the hell is a yellow tango?”[6]