I doubt the Puritans would have approved of working remotely.

Wouldn’t have willingly participated in Zoom calls, would have found meetings useless.

Except for planning witch burnings.

Puritans wouldn’t recognize today’s world of work, would be upset about the American work ethic- or lack thereof.

They might have even stopped working briefly to complain about “Workers Today” and Shake Thy Fist Angrily!

And celebrated Labor Day by working overtime…

For me, any discussion of Puritans is personal and painful: Becoming a Puritan was all my Father ever wanted, and he did everything to reach that goal:

Worked really hard while ranting about King George;

Wore the black, scratchy wool clothing – it looked good on him. Except for the big hat – only Lincoln ever looked good in those big hats;

Started a Community Food Bank and wrote his application essay about the experience.

He even hedged his bets, stopping using electricity, driving a wagon, and growing a ‘Full Garcia’ beard – unsure if there was a difference between the Amish and Puritans.

Unfortunately, he exceeded the height limit and wasn’t accepted. Plus, the Puritans hated Catholics.

But they did let him clean up after the “Puritan Initiation Ritual”, which was a serious compliment.

And was invited to play in an Amish softball league.

And they wouldn’t understand today’s fixation on Instant Gratification, since they denied themselves any gratification except death. Slow, painful death the most gratifying.

And neither do I – it’s Old Man Rant #33: “Kids Today want it all NOW!” (Shakes Fist Angrily – but slowly, to emphasize I’m willing to take my time ranting).

My generation is the last to believe it’s worth waiting for happiness.

It’s how we were raised:

The Sears catalog had everything we wanted, but it took months for it to arrive – unless you paid for Sears Prime, then weeks.

Comics were the early form of streaming, but the next episode wasn’t for a month.

We loved video games, but had to wait decades for them to be invented.

I still attempt to delay pleasure:

Buying donuts at the Winn-Dixie, but only the plain kind, and leaving them uneaten.

Setting the AC at 80 – Martin Luther would be proud – but My Captor won’t let me.

Waiting to read the weekly Beers at the Nifty until Sunday afternoon.

And Puritan and Amish Emojis would be hopelessly out of date:

The Puritan emoji featuring an animated stake being driven into anything that might be sinful/pleasureful, their text auto response.

The Amish emoji a drunken horse being electrocuted in a bathtub, to show the perils of the modern world.

But Puritans wouldn’t be surprised to learn that a day to honor work – by not working – was the idea of labor unions, the first celebration in 1882.

It took time to get the idea right, but the unions kept at it.

Originally starting as National Call Out Sick day, progressing to National Work Slowdown Day – a full three years before employers noticed – to National “We’ve Got a Strike Fund to spend, We’re out of here” Day, eventually becoming what we know as Labor Day.

This weekend is the unofficial end of summer, but since everyone’s at the beach, there are no formal rituals or parades – just BBQs and family gatherings – union BBQs requiring a five-man crew to work the Weber. Which is 3 fewer than are normally there.

And while we ‘Older Men who are a bit torked off’ decry the decaying American work ethic, it’s still better than the French, so there’s that – let’s Labor Day it up!

Because a day off is a day off, even for us retired guys.