“Where have you gone Tight End Bowers?
The Peach State turns its lonely eyes to you…”
(With apologies to Simon and Garfark, and Mrs. Robinson)
While the outside world worries about trivialities like the next president, it’s GA-FLA weekend in the Golden Isles!
The last/first Saturday in October/November reserved for the annual installment of the Georgia-Florida rivalry- or Florida-Georgia for the Godless transplanted New Yorkers south of us, though I do have the complete set of DeSantis trading cards – and the ‘student circus’ back in town.
Because the game‘s played in neutral site Jacksonville, GA students convene in St. Simons, generally Thursday to Sunday, bussing to the game.
And while ‘back in the day’ students (including our children) arrived on Tuesday night, the current fun heat map glows reddest on Friday, our visitors confined to “Frat Beach”.
The week’s contraction a cooperative effort of the University and St. Simons, after the event bordered on out of control…
…liquor and energy drink companies with live music and samples – one year, walking the beach I was accosted, multiple students drinking shots from my navel.
Those kids and I have kept in touch, so there’s that. I found them asleep on our lawn this morning – my navel’s shaved and ready…
The University taking the controversial stance of expecting students to actually attend class, moving this fall break to the week before the other fall break, which when combined with Thanksgiving break means the students are pretty much off for November.
Kids Today! (Shakes fist angrily – particularly vigorously, to get all the angry fist shakes out of the way early).
As an aside, if “kids are smarter today”, why is this the only time there’s a beach ‘Lost and Found’ area, a fence to protect the dunes, and a directional sign to the ocean?
St. Simons taking the controversial stance of enforcing the drinking age, requiring attendance at job fairs, and establishing ‘frat beach’ – an area near the Coast Guard station where the students are essentially roped in.
And they say you can’t control immigration…
While underage drinking isn’t technically allowed at Frat Beach, it isn’t actively enforced – wink/wink, all those milk jugs contain Powerade…
County commissioners even act as Frat Beach judges, grading the debauchery, awarding “Best Halloween Costume”. Last year’s winner dressed as a student.
But this weekend personally wrenching: My Captor and I in San Diego for a family wedding!
Would Shake Fist Angrily, but got that out of the way earlier: Who on earth schedules a wedding on a college football Saturday? Last week a bye week, for God’s sake…
It was one of my favorite weekends of the year:
We have friends who come for the game – meet for lunch, attend Stephanie and Michael’s low country boil, and Jim and Deborah’s bitchin’ watching party.
A personal highlight: I bring brats to the latter, an annual anticipation for the party goers – the only menu item I’ve ever trademarked.
And I’ve a reserved spot on the couch in the game watching room!
Maybe next year…
Phone-checking the game during the ceremony drew angry looks from the minister, but GA held on for the win, so there’s that.
All this might sound odd to non-college football fans – but nothing like the ‘good old-fashioned hatred’ of Southern football rivalries.
Mainly because the fans live with each other – these are year-round antagonisms.
I was raised on Nebraska-Oklahoma, a relatively cordial rivalry – but separated by Kansas (kids – check a map).
So nothing prepared me for the importance of Southern college football: Anyone surprised the SEC “stared down death” to play football during Covid?
It just means more!
If you’d like, view it as coronation of the trivial, but we know better: This game is bigger than life itself!
Until next week’s game, of course.
For 255 more posts like this –each with a wish for Evy’s queso party dip– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.
TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
But not today:
With serious apologies to Simon and Garfark, Mrs. Robinson, and Mr. Gladstone
Mrs. Smart
And here’s to you, Coach Kirby’s wife,
The fan base loves you more than you will know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
God bless you, please, Georgia football,
Sanford holds a place for those who pay
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
We’d like to know a little bit about your annual contribution for our files
We’d like to invite you to the games
Look around you, all you see are tailgating eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home
Hide it with an RPO, the defense mis-aligned,
Look, Etienne open for a TD throw,
Hide your signals behind cardboard signs, So Michigan doesn’t know.
It’s a little secret, just like the offensive game plan
Most of all, you’ve got to hide it from the D
Coo, coo, ca-choo, Coach Kirby’s wife,
Jesus loves you more than you will know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
God bless you, please, Georgia football
Sanford holds a place for those who pay
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Sitting on a sofa on New Years Day.
Win the Rose Bowl and three of four peat?
Laugh about it, shout at the TV
In the old days when we had to choose
Every way we looked at it, we knew we were gonna lose
But we’re nervous about number three, -Such slow starts – and Philly still has our D,
Where have you gone, tight end Bowers?
The Peach State turns its lonely eyes to you
Woo, woo, woo
What’s that you say, Ortho surgeon Andrews?
Brock has left but Luckie plays,
Hey, hey, hey
Pour me another IPA!