It only takes one.
The Meteorologist Mantra throughout hurricane season.
We made it to the mid-point of the season without a threat, until…
Hurricane Idalia paid a visit this week.
Many locals were initially excited, believing it to be one of Trump’s children, an ex-wife, or the star of his favorite movie “Idalia Does the Iowa Caucuses”.
Others were unhappy with the name, commencing a movement for ‘Iggy Pop’ as 2024’s I name.
Most, after learning Idalia means ‘lovable’ – a reference to a city favored by Venus – thought “That doesn’t match the b-otch who just blew through here”.
But this was an unusual one, arriving with just a few days notice – like your least favorite uncle popping in for a surprise visit -there’s usually a full week for the histerions to try and frighten us.
Our elected officials were also caught off guard, as there were no calls for evacuation, only PSAs urging us to “Hunker Down” and spend the time learning a second language, reading ‘Idalia Bedelia’ to our children, or heading to Winn-Dixie to fight with the neighbors for the last case of Dasani.
Even with short notice we were able to hurricane prep:
Tying down furniture that we feared would blow away, but leaving older items and clothing out, to be blown to South Carolina to help the homeless;
Carefully placing all the outdoor furniture cushions in the shed – in front of the generator, to ensure we/I wouldn’t be able to use it. My Captor even added the old ‘Ball in Cup’ game to the pile to distract me if I went to find it;
Moving our neighbor’s nice outdoor furniture into our yard – “That’s yours? Must have blown over here. Hurricane Keepers!”
But as is Hurricane Custom, the Revenge of the Weather Nerds erupted, allowing the meteorologists to commandeer the airwaves for a few days.
And take over they did, with remotes and live reports that:
Showed us Georgia and Florida cities I’d never heard of, reporters standing in the rain, telling us it was raining, interviewing confused elders who had nearly lost it all in kitchen fires.
Updates featuring: “Power Out? What’s safe to eat”; Investment advice – Idalia and your 401(k); French cooking – Barometric pressure’s impact on your souffles; Hurricane themed crafts – Broken windows make lovely collages.
Shared Hurricane ‘wit and wisdom’, my favorite: “We run from the water, We hide from the wind”.
Which made for one weird morning walk.
But Idalia wasn’t so bad after all.
Normally My Captor and I are alone, and with the power out, there’s no Hallmark movies available, no WOF/J hour. Dark, windy and nerve wracking.
But our St. Pete niece and her dog Frankie evacuated to us, and good friends were renting nearby: Idalia themed parties!!
Prizes for best Hurricane hat, a “Bite Me Idalia” themed poetry slam, and special awards for bringing ice and bottled water.
“Funnest” Hurricane ever!
It was a big time – even the President and Governor are coming to town – and I’m starting an event company: “Cone of Concern Travel” for vacation travel to ‘Hurricane Warning areas’.
“Hunkering Down to bring you torrential rain, high winds, and even higher velocity Vacation Fun!”
But some kidding aside, we were very lucky.
Because with a Hurricane, the best case is torrential rains, ungodly winds in excess of 40+ mph, and lost power.
All of which happened. But no weird leaks, nothing of value blown to Newfoundland, and power outage just under a day.
Nothing but good news.
The bad news?
There’s 3 more months of Hurricane Season to go…
Want to read more about Hurricane season?
For 182 more posts like this –each with a wish for a calm beach day – go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.
TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
Well, gotta be Jimmy Buffett, rest in peace. I’ve been to a few Margaritavilles, but they struck me as way too clean and shiny – I would have much preferred day drinking with Buffett in a weathered old bar on the beach.
The album “Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes” a particular favorite and perhaps his best. Banana Republics written by Steve Goodman (a close friend and fellow Cub fan) a gem, but the lyrics to the title track a life anthem:
With these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of my running and all of my cunning
If I couldn’t laugh I just would go insane
If we couldn’t laugh we just would go insane
If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane