Hurricane season is here! I knew I saved my old football helmet for a reason…
Fortunately, the season’s nearly over – today is day 11, only 172 to go.
And while the ‘doomcasting’ media and weather types focus on the ‘negatives’ of the season: the billions of storm damage, ruined lives and homes, hurricane themed books being banned in schools, the season can be quite fun.
If you’re prepared.
One key: dressing properly.
My clothes closet is organized by size: Thin, Medium, Christmas holidays, and Hurricane.
There’s also space for the purple tux I rented for senior prom, in case my ‘date’ changes her mind and decides to go. Hopefully, I’ll know soon – the late fees are astronomical.
The ‘thin’ section of the closet I visit when I’m feeling nostalgic, ‘medium’ now aspirational, and ‘Christmas holidays’ on the verge of being renamed 4th quarter.
The Hurricane section contains my water-resistant shorts, plenty of clean underwear identified by ‘hurricane month ‘– my June pair holding up fine – and a dress jacket in case a storm blows us to a private club somewhere in North Carolina.
And My Captor has a stunning pants suit in event of evacuation.
Another key: prevention and readiness.
I purchased a generator in 2020, successfully warding off recent storms. The red flag laws were an issue – I was voted “Most likely to blow themself up with a gas-powered device” in high school, runner up for “Most likely to be standing alone at a party” – but it’s in the shed, somewhere. Unless My Captor regifted it.
But my ‘candle permit’ was revoked after the Hurricane Ian ‘incident’.
Even without a direct hit, we lose power for 5+ days.
And we’re ready for that:
I keep a cooler full of ice for ‘storm surge’ beer – and some perishable food. The latter because My Captor claims she’s allergic to jerky and canned Spaghetti-Os.
I’m kept busy replenishing the ice – and beer – throughout the season.
For entertainment, we recreate our favorite scenes from “Little House on the Prairie” or pretend we’re in London during Blitzkrieg blackouts.
And daily picnics! Eating gallons of ice cream and perishable food before spoiling.
The final bit of preparedness involves setting the alarm at 3-hour intervals to check the latest Hurricane Service update, starting at 2A. Like having a newborn again.
But storm names are mired in controversy – aiming to avoid offending anyone – or anything.
Recently named Tropical Storm Arlene was decried as sexist, which many thought was how the naming system worked.
Others believe names should be ‘gender neutral’: e.g., Pat, Peyton, Hayden, or Pope Leo the 2nd.
Numbering storms was considered, but apparently math was used by the Nazis, so no go.
And no to alphabetical order – “Too hierarchical!”
So this year’s storms will be called “Your name here”.
There are plus sides to the season:
During a storm, we hear from people we haven’t heard from – providing valuable advice like “Stay safe” – even our library called, wondering when I’ll return “The Sun Also Rises”.
But don’t bother calling to ask if you can have my baseball cards if we don’t make it.
And when else does the tired joke: “It’s like being stalked by a turtle” work at a party?,
I realize this is no laughing matter. I’ve linked to my recent post “This is a laughing matter” to show the difference.
Viewed correctly, this is one of those life lessons: “Take the bad with the good”.
Lucky to live at the beach, but it comes with hurricanes – and tourists.
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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
In two fortunate live music experiences, I was lucky enough to see Muddy Waters in 1979ish and Stevie Ray Vaughn in 1990, weeks before he died.
I knew Stevie Ray, but not live – he played like a buzzsaw, leaving one open-mouthed. He may be the opposite of ‘quiet Sunday listening’, but an American icon: 2 Cool 2 Be 4 Gotten.
And if you haven’t listened to Muddy lately, do it now. Always do it now.
Texas Flood Stevie Ray Vaughn
Well there’s floodin’ down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
Well there’s floodin’ down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
And I’ve been tryin’ to call my baby
Lord and I can’t get a single sound
Well dark clouds are rollin’ in
Man I’m standin’ out in the rain
Well dark clouds are rollin’ in
Man I’m standin’ out in the rain
Yeah flood water keep a rollin’
Man it’s about to drive poor me insane
Well I’m leavin’ you baby
Lord and I’m goin’ back home to stay
Well I’m leavin’ you baby
Lord and I’m goin’ back home to stay
Well back home are no floods or tornados
Baby and the sun shines every day