HOT DIGGITY DOG!

A modern ‘marvel’: The $12 hot dog.

Grandkids love PA dogs – just enjoyed multiple doses of air-fried hot dogs wrapped in foil, served at the beach – a family favorite. And they’re ‘PA-ified’, cooked 5-6 minutes until they pop when bitten, served in a warmed, lightly toasted bun – with no outside voice comment when the recipient smothers it in ketchup.  

But I rarely get a hot dog when dining out, because being my father’s son, have trouble paying $8+ for a … hot dog. Though I might make an exception for a Chicago dog.

And now a $12 version -no matter how you dress that dogger up, it ain’t worth it. And they’re dressed up, with avocado, French carrots, and pimento cheese imported from South Carolina, tariff be damned! – an ‘upgrade’ from mustard, onions and chili.

Another modern ‘marvel’: The $5 donut.

I love donuts – a PA donut trip to Winn Dixie a grandkid loved tradition.

Or it was. The Dixie de-donutfying: Initially removing the table where we enjoyed a ‘secret’ donut (Don’t tell Mommy!) before heading home (with 27 donuts in our ‘Baker’s Dozen’), moving to six glazed pre-packaged, ultimately converting to pastries only.

Oh, the pretensions of the Beef People!

But a new ‘high-end’ donut emporium recently opened, donuts incredibly tasty – and incredibly expensive – swallowing hard at checkout.  

Their lines 20-30 deep at times, so the donuts popular, and we made our first grandkid visit – the donuts much loved.

The $5 cost proving again grandparents will pay anything for their grandkids.

But maybe it’s just me. Am I the only one who notices what things cost?

I believe it’s due to the death of cash: When you had to count out bills you understood how much things cost. With credit cards, things are free!  

For 30 days, anyway.

Kids today (shakes fist angrily, but under the table because they were my kids as well) buying without checking prices! And adults today (would shake fist angrily again, but it would be self-implicating) buying without checking prices!

And because things are free! people are easily ‘satisfied’, not knowing what things really cost.

All made worse living at a vacation destination, with people searching for things to do.

Hitting home during a recent Jekyll Island Georgia Sea Turtle Center visit, a room with turtle information display boards, a turtle hospital, and a holding area with turtle pools.

Our grandkids loved it, but for me, not worth an Old Man Rant, but a bit ‘thin’: Essentially a single room ‘museum’ and an enclosure where you watched turtles swim.

Bringing back childhood memories, when turtles caused the polio epidemic.

Worse yet, entering though the gift shop.

But despite the $12 admission price, our group pleased with the experience.

Hmmm…

I thought briefly about opening a noseeum, wind, or electromagnetic wave museum, with a discounted $11.99 entry fee and ‘bitchin’ gift shop front and back, but the tariffs on invisible things too unpredictable, so no go.

But the gift shop idea grew on me, adding one to the back of our house – featuring My Captor’s baked goods, beach t-shirts and hats, and beer. The last thing a real crowd favorite…

Offering crypto briefly, but who’d buy something that doesn’t exist?

The lesson?

As a friend observed, the depression’s way behind us, people will pay whatever for whatever.

Dog tuxedos, magic beans, AOL dial-up access – just put it on my card.

The ultimate scam? Few noticing the 3% ‘card fee’ now being charged by many businesses, which may bring cash back…

What’s my ATM pin again?

For 306 more posts like this –each with a wish for change back – go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell have both been there and back. My Captor and I saw them at the Greek Theater in Berkeley a bit ago, and they were excellent. Fun facts: She was discovered by Gram Parsons; He was married to Rosanne Cash and Johnny Cash’s son-in-law. I’ve added their work together and their solo work to the BATN playlist.

But for a bit of oddness, check out the Disney Channel’s ‘Hot Dog Dance’, written by They Might Be Giants. Shades of Mark Mothersbaugh…