HAPPY LABOR DAY!

Cancel Culture needs to come for Labor Day.

Don’t get me wrong, Labor Day was a great idea – when people actually worked.

When people built and lifted things – exerted effort. Have you checked out the railroad lately? That was a lot of labor…

Now everyone works ‘remotely’ and rarely, if ever, see the inside of an office.

And they’re missing out on what made working such a great experience:

The dreadful daily commute;

The toxic office environment, with the loafer down the hall who always interrupted in the middle of a tight deadline, the woman who brought horrible baked goods and the whiners who were unhappy with the company cafeteria;

The corporate buzz word heavy language: Lean into, go where the puck is going, and I apologize for the following personal faults I was unaware of until this training session  – which made for some intense games of ‘BuzzWord Bingo’ during meetings;

And company meetings with happy hours, where we’d guess who might end up destroying their careers and/or marriages.   

I do have some sympathy for the modern worker, however – having to learn a new Zoom access code every few months when they change jobs.

Labor Day originally celebrated child birthing, but with the “Moms Too” movement and their demand for fuller recognition, which resulted in Birthing Persons Day (nee Mother’s Day), Labor Day was repurposed to honor the American worker.

But with American workers starting/quitting, demanding paid leave for pet surgeries, and striking for improved backlighting for Zoom calls, it’s time to re-think Labor Day.

For that matter, re-thinking all the Holidays.

There are 12 Federal Holidays, multiple regional holidays, and most states have their unique ‘special’ holidays.

California for instance, has 71 state holidays, celebrating each group that petitioned Sacramento for recognition.

These include “DiMaggio Brothers Day” –I must confess, the fireworks during the ‘Vince DiMaggio Overture’ are spectacular – Junipero Serra Day, Anti-Junipero Serra Day, and California Labor Day.

The latter is the only day California workers are ‘forced’ to work, all other days covered by holidays and/or personal/family/wildfire leave.

As a kid, my favorite was Nebraska’s ‘William Jennings Bryan Day’, a celebration of failed presidential candidates. The festivities included a parade, games, and the Horatio Seymour Haunted House.

One year included the “DeWitt Clinton Ax-Catching Booth”, an ill-advised tribute.

It is well past time to give up on:

Flag Day: The design is sooo 1700s!  And that anthem – try hitting the high notes!

Washington’s Birthday: He must have done a bunch of things to offend today’s sensibilities. And with the demise of paper money we won’t have to look at “’Ol Wooden Teeth” anymore.

Father’s Day: a day to celebrate a failed sex/gender/repressive parenting figure? Would it kill you to empty the dishwasher?

Thanksgiving Day: Thankful for what? No more Detroit Lions games!  

And time to celebrate:

Serious day: Since nothing is funny anymore, let’s take time as a nation to not crack a smile;

Illiteracy day: Since most kids haven’t been in school for 4 or 5 years, reading comprehension ain’t. How about a day to gawk at our screens? Later, head out to dinner and let the kids gawk at their tablets while the family eats in silence;

Kids Today! day: A time to celebrate “Kids Today” (Shakes fist angrily!). But be nice, this group is going to have to fund our Medicare and Social Security.

But as I reflected on our holiday traditions, the real reason we celebrate? Anything to get a day off work.

I retract what I said about Labor Day: Americans need a celebration of work to avoid work.

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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

Sixteen Tons Tennessee Ernie Ford Stan Ridgway (Wall of Voodoo) has an electronic version that is way cool

Some people say a man is made outta mud
A poor man’s made outta muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones
A mind that’s a-weak and a back that’s strong

You load 16 tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
St. Peter, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the company store

I was born one mornin’ when the sun didn’t shine
I picked up my shovel and I walked to the mine
I loaded 16 tons of number nine coal
And the straw boss said, “Well, a-bless my soul”

You load 16 tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
St. Peter, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the company store

I was born one mornin’, it was drizzlin’ rain
Fightin’ and trouble are my middle name
I was raised in the canebrake by an ol’ mama lion
Can’t no high toned woman make me walk the line

You load 16 tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
St. Peter, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the company store

If you see me comin’, better step aside
A lotta men didn’t, a lotta men died
One fist of iron, the other of steel
If the right one don’t get you
Then the left one will

You load 16 tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
St. Peter, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the company store

There is power In a Union  Billy Bragg

There is power in a factory, power in the land
Power in the hand of the worker
But it all amounts to nothing
If together we don’t stand
There is power in a Union

Now the lessons of the past
Were all learned with workers’ blood
The mistakes of the bosses we must pay for
From the cities and the farmlands
To trenches full of mud
War’s always been the bosses’ way, sir

The Union forever defending our rights
Down with the blackleg, all workers unite
With our brothers and our sisters
From many far off lands
There is power in a Union

Now I long for the morning that they realize
Brutality and unjust laws cannot defeat us
But who’ll defend the workers who cannot organise
When the bosses send their lackeys out to cheat us?

Money speaks for money
The Devil for his own
Who comes to speak for the skin and the bone?
What a comfort to the widow
A light to the child
There is power in a Union

The Union forever defending our rights
Down with the blackleg, all workers unite
With our brothers and our sisters
Together we will stand
There is power in a Union

Move to Japan   The Band

Well, I’m starin’ at my Sony, a-drinkin’ Kirun beer
I had a nickel in my pocket when it all came clear
I hopped into my Honda, it’s a little bitty car
And I’m drivin’ down to meet you at the Sushi Bar
But don’t tell me I’m crazy until you hear my plan
I’m gonna buy two tickets and move to Japan

I’m gonna move to Japan
I’m gonna move to Japan

So if you’ve got no job and runnin’ out of dough
And they moved the factory down to Mexico
Just pack your bags and don’t forget your Kimona
And you’ll be followin’ me, honey, all the way to Yokohama

We’re gonna move to Japan
We’re gonna move to Japan

Tokyo’s got the neon
I put a pot of green tea on
Akira Kurosawa
Sapporo Okinawa
Girls with almond eyes
Eatin’ seaweed and rice
It’s the land of tradition
But I’m a man on a mission

When we get to Japan we’re gonna do our part
We’re gonna love Japan with all of our heart

From the unemployment line I see lots to be done
And they’re taking all hands in the land of the risin’ sun
And I love my mom and my apple pie
But sayonara Uncle Sam, hello Samurai

We’re gonna move to Japan
We’re gonna move to Japan
We’re gonna move to Japan
Hey, we’re gonna move to Japan
The home of the working man

It’s rolling

Welcome to the Working Week  Elvis Costello

This was the first EC song I ever heard, when the clock radio alarm woke me up in 1977

Now that your picture’s in the paper being rhythmically admired
And you can have anyone that you have ever desired
All you gotta tell me now is why, why, why, why?

Oh, I know it don’t thrill you, I hope it don’t kill you
You gotta do it till you’re through, so you better get to it

All of your family had to kill to survive
And they’re still waitin’ for their big day to arrive
But if they knew how I felt, they’d bury me alive

Oh, I know it don’t thrill you, I hope it don’t kill you
You gotta do it till you’re through, so you better get to it

I hear you sayin’, “Hey, the city’s alright”
When you only read about it in books
Spend all your money gettin’ so convinced
That you never even bother to look

Sometimes I wonder if we’re livin’ in the same land
Why d’you wanna be my friend
When I feel like a juggler running out of hands?

Oh, welcome to the working week

Casey Jones  The Dead

Driving that train
High on cocaine
Casey Jones you better
Watch your speed
Trouble ahead
Trouble behind
And you know that notion
Just crossed my mind?

This old engine makes it on time
Leaves Central Station
‘Bout a quarter to nine
Hits River Junction at seventeen: two
At a quarter to ten
You know it’s travelin’ again

Driving that train
High on cocaine
Casey Jones you better
Watch your speed
Trouble ahead
Trouble behind
And you know that notion
Just crossed my mind?

Trouble ahead
A lady in red
Take my advice
You’d be better off dead!
Switchman’s sleeping
Train hundred and two is
On the wrong track
And headed for you!

Driving that train
High on cocaine
Casey Jones you better
Watch your speed
Trouble ahead
Trouble behind
And you know that notion
Just crossed my mind?

Drive your train
Whoo!

Trouble with you
Is the trouble with me
Got two good eyes
But you still don’t see
Come round the bend
You know it’s the end
The fireman screams
And the engine just gleams

She’s Having My baby Paul Anka  What else did you expect?

You’re havin’ my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me
Havin’ my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’ what you’re thinkin’ of me
I can see it, your face is glowin’
I can see it in your eyes, I’m happy you know it

That you’re havin’ my baby
You’re the woman I love and I love what it’s doin’ to ya
Havin’ my baby
You’re a woman in love and I love what’s goin’ through ya

The need inside you, I see it showin’
Whoa, the seed inside ya, baby, do you feel it growin’?
Are you happy you know it?

That you’re havin’ my baby
I’m a woman in love and I love what it’s doin’ to me
Havin’ my baby
I’m a woman in love and I love what’s goin’ through me

Didn’t have to keep it
Wouldn’t put you through it
You could have swept it from your life
But you wouldn’t do it, no, you wouldn’t do it

And you’re havin’ my baby
I’m a woman in love and I love what it’s doin’ to me
Havin’ my baby
I’m a woman in love and I love what’s goin’ through me

Havin’ my baby (havin’ my baby)
What a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me

Havin’ my baby (havin’ my baby)
I’m a woman in love and I love what’s goin’ through me