GET BUSY LIVING!

I’ve never read the Bible; being raised Catholic will do that to you.

I’m no longer a regular churchgoer; being raised Catholic will do that to you.

And I’ve never had a family photo without a bunch of kids; being raised Catholic will do that to you.

‘Spiritually’, my goal to lead a ‘Christ-like life’, a major part of which treating others the way I’d like to be treated.

But today I’m totally geeked out on Easter, which is Christianity’s Super Bowl, the day Jesus rose from the dead, providing eternal life for believers. 

My geek out based on Easter’s promise of new and/or renewed life – an invitation to be reborn every day.

This my 7^th annual Easter post with the ‘Wake Up every day and start living’! theme – in fact, the first BATN was ‘Little Easters’ on 4/11/2020. The title and content inspired by Fr. Seli’s long-ago Easter sermon: “Life should be a series of Little Easters!”

The idea later repurposed to Chess Easter on 6/9, celebrating Danny’s first day of detox/rehab in 2013, leading to a life of sobriety. For a while, anyway.

Becoming an annual family letter celebrating family accomplishments, while urging us to treat each day as an opportunity to make small life improvements – sometimes leading to major improvements – as part of not taking our lives for granted.

But the past week a personal crossroads/milestone: The publishing of Love Is Not Enough, and the sale of our last AAMCO Transmissions.

I wrote about the book publishing process last week, which was tougher/easier than I would have imagined.

Tougher because I used a real publisher, who ‘gently‘ edited my copy, leading to multiple ‘final’ edits, ‘finals’ multiplying when Katharine did a serious edit, suggesting deletions (Are you sure that shouldn’t stay in? No, Out) and additions. The suggested adds my personal reactions, making the final final edit more personal and hopefully better.

But the decision to publish plaguing me, finally realizing: If this intended to help others, it requires me reliving our experience. Do I really want that? Do I really want that for Danny?

Our son Nick answering my doubt with “If it helps one person, Danny would be good with it”.

And we owned 4 AAMCOs at one point, down to one as of 1/1/25. The idea hatched as part of a beach conversation about starting a family business, three of our sons working there during our 15 year ownership window.

It’s where Danny was working on September 13^th; afterwards, we were essentially without a capable manager, as his brothers processed their acceptance of his death for the next months.

Adding financial stress to the grief rubble.

I was in ATL for the closing, my role to deposit the check; the drive to the center the final morning very emotional, and perhaps a bit of closure: The final day of the recent at-times miserable 18 months.  

But the end of a life chapter, full of happy and sad moments. Which is essentially our lives: Happiness and sorrow dancing together, alternating the lead.

Our sons now through the ‘grief rubble’, move on to what’s next. As do we all.

And my thoughts return to today’s theme of continuing self-improvement, aided by one of those ‘life moments’:

Walking our friend’s dog, I stopped to let a father pushing his wheelchair bound, mentally challenged daughter to pet the dog. Reminding me – once again – how lucky I am; how someone always has it worse.

Because no matter our situation, every day is a gift from God, and we honor Him – and ourselves – by making the most of it.

Happy Easter!

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER READING’:

‘Love Is Not Enough’ available for pre-order this coming Wednesday, April 8^th. I don’t have a link yet, but if you go to Amazon and enter “James Chess Love Is Not Enough” it will pop up. And then order – order one for everyone in your family! And write a review – early orders and reviews important on Amazon.

 Here is the description of the book:

“I’m an addict.”

The first time you hear those words from your child, the world tilts. You want to argue, to fix it, to rewrite the story before it’s even been told. James Chess heard them from his youngest son, Danny, and spent years believing the hardest chapter was behind them.
It wasn’t.

In this raw, unflinching memoir, Jim Chess does what most parents dread even imagining: he tells the full story of losing his 33-year-old son to suicide. From Danny’s childhood as the youngest of six in a loud, loving family, through his battles with opioid addiction and depression, to the devastating phone call on Friday the 13th that changed everything, Jim holds nothing back. He writes with the candor of a father who refuses to sugarcoat the truth and the tenderness of a man who would give anything for just one more Sunday morning check-in with his son.

But this is not just a story about death. It is about what comes after: the blur of visitors and casseroles, the strange grace of “the Dead Son Effect,” a family learning how to get out of bed each morning and keep walking, literally, along the beach, one foot in front of the other. It is about a wife who held everything together, siblings who found their way back to laughter, and a father who turned writing into his lifeline.

Part love letter, part cautionary tale, part grief journal, Jim weaves together family memories, his popular blog posts from Beers at the Nifty, and an imagined final conversation with Danny that will leave you reaching for the phone to call someone you love.

He was an amazing son, brother, uncle, godfather, and friend. He just didn’t fit here.
Best for readers who appreciate honest family memoirs, those navigating their own grief or supporting a loved one through addiction and mental health struggles, parents looking for solidarity rather than platitudes, and anyone who believes that love, even when it isn’t enough to save someone, still matters more than anything.