GENERATIONS

We stand on the shoulders of those who came before.

Particularly true for families, the lucky among us with parents who were success models, encouraging and enabling us to build shoulders for those who follow us.

My Captor and I just spent a long La Jolla weekend feting the shoulders of our Uncle Dave and his wife Bobbie – the original Queenie.

Bobbie died last Christmas Eve – the family laughing “she always wanted us to remember the day she died” – she the last of the 4 ‘Hughes girls’, my mother-in-law’s sister.

The weekend celebrated Dave’s 93^rd, and Bobbie’s celebration of life memorial service.

Bobbie and Dave were one of ‘those’ couples, always together – almost as if BobbieandDave were one word.  61 years married.

But I could have substituted Pat and John for so many of the memories, making me grateful once again for my parent’s shoulders, again leaving me wondering if I ever fully expressed my gratitude – a cautionary tale, that.

Dave was part of the ‘silent generation’, born just after the ‘greatest generation’, missing the What Was So Great About It Depression and WW2. They just kept their heads down and kept working.

And while they may have been denied the distinction of defeating the ‘ultimate evil’, they were the original Make America Great generation, helping make this country what it is today.

Unlike today’s ‘Slack Jawed Generation’ (Shakes Fist Angrily!)  

And to our ultimate benefit, learning from the greatest generation the importance of family and friends – their predecessors having dealt with wrenching loss during the war.

Dave has been a great sharer. He and Bobbie lived in SF, taking our daughter and husband under their wing when they started their marriage living in the Bay Area.

And we were lucky he shared his encyclopedic knowledge of the city during our frequent visits with his ‘Dave tours’, no two the same.

The frustration of the weekend – and of aging: Dave’s memory issue, he giving a glimmer of recognition when we re-introduced ourselves, but unable to hold the memory.

But in one of those weird memory tricks, while reading aloud letters he’d written home during his air force service, his face came alive, and it was clear he remembered the ’50s better than today.

Memory a weird animal: It occurred that I remembered Norm Cash had won the 1961 AL batting title but couldn’t remember that cousin from Houston’s name I had met twice before.  

There were lots of weekend lessons, but the ‘elephant in the ball room’ was “Generations Pass”, supplanted by the next generation. And the next…

Nobody gets out of here alive.  

And each of us – if we are lucky – get old and face the ravages of time.

My hip nodding in agreement…

From Bobbie and Dave remembrances it was clear they understood the value of more time: They faced aging with defiance.

Their generation the first to actively fight back against aging and time, being active to continue to be able to remain active.  

While we may still spend a few moments conducting the ‘organ recital’ (my hip Shaking Fist Angrily) when we reunite, we are fighting to remain active and extend our lives.

To be allowed more time.

Which brings me to the weekend’s punch line:

Dave thanking the assembled group after the procession of tributes, speaking to how he and Bobbie’s  central focus on family and friends – had “made their world wider”.

A reminder that family and friends matter most – prompting my brother-in law Bill’s observation “We need to do this more often”.

Because if you take any of this for granted, you ain’t paying attention.

For 185 more posts like this –each with a wish for a longer life – go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS (FIND YOUR OWN DAMN LYRICS!):

A guilty pleasure is A Touch of Gray by The Dead, which fits.

But quote of the week is from Jim Morrison from Land Ho “Woke Up this morning and had myself a beer, The futures uncertain and the end is always near”.