Like ants descending upon a discarded PB&J…

… Ready to conduct research on learning loss!

This is GA/FLA week; the game having been played in ‘neutral site’ Jacksonville on the last Saturday of October since 1933. Georgia students gather in SSI to pre-party, travel the hour down for the game, and head back to Athens on Sunday.

Over time, the party has shrunk to Friday on ‘Frat Beach’; back in the day, our children arrived in late September and virtually attended school for the next month.

If only Zoom existed then…

Not sure where the Florida students convene, but the next time I find a student asleep on my lawn, I’ll ask.

We love college football for its rivalries and traditions, and know we’ll get more enjoyment out of the money wasted on football than we will the money wasted by the government.

The best part of rivalries is the things schools play for, like “The Old Oaken Bucket”, the prize of the Indiana-Purdue game.

We witnessed that annually, at our friends’ Michigan-Ohio State chili party, where an Indiana grad listened nervously to ‘the bucket game’ in the kitchen. 

The UM-OSU rivalry is one of the great ones, and a memorable installment was the “Going, Going, Gone” game, where Woody Hayes died on the sidelines during the first quarter but still delivered an emotional halftime speech.

As an aside, I met the Old Oaken Bucket years later at a bar in Bloomington. He looked tired and wooden, complained of feeling ‘rootless’ for being passed between the schools, and told harrowing stories about what he’d been filled with over time.

A few shots cheered him up, but I got out of there, as he had a 12 gallon capacity.

Wisconsin and Minnesota played for Paul Bunyan’s ax, until he noticed it wasn’t in the garage, and took it back. Oddly, the ax had replaced the ‘slab of bacon’ after it disappeared – in an electric frying pan, I assume (if it’s on the internet it must be true).

They now play for a block of cheese carved to resemble Hubert Humphrey.

The Kentucky v. Tennessee winner is treated to a possum dinner by the losers.

Tragically, there was a year when the loser didn’t supply someone to watch for cars…

Back to GA/FLA, who play for the right to feel morally superior for the coming year:

The original Island visitors brought smallpox and cholera; the visiting students bring Halloween costumes and milk jugs filled with colorful liquids. Not sure what they bring home…

My Captor assures me that kids are “smarter today”, but the only beach lost and found I’ve ever seen was at Frat Beach.

Our tradition is to walk down and check out the Friday action, which features those Halloween costumes and various shades of revelry.

The crowd was estimated at 6,000 this year, despite the local’s attempts to discourage the influx of students:

‘Frat Beach’ surrounded by barbed wire, oddly matching many student tattoos, but breached by students dressed as soldiers;

Alcohol was banned; when that didn’t work only French Bordeaux wines were allowed, making drinking too expensive.

The last ditch effort was setting Frat Beach classroom style, making kids fear they’d have to attend class. The plan was foiled, when a student offered to share his notes with the other attendees.

And they must feel at home – ‘beach sweep’ volunteers show up to pick up after them. 

But in fairness, they’re having fun, and making memories.

And unlike my college years, they’ll have cell phone video to recall what actually happened.

 For 129 more posts like this –each with Paul Bunyan’s ax – go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or, at the site, leave a comment on this post, and then check the box that says “Please notify me of future posts” and you will be sent the newest Sunday update automatically.  

Easier yet, when you read a post, after 15 seconds you’ll be given the chance to become a subscriber: Life gets better and better!

Or just forward this to everyone you know. Forward it to those you aren’t fond of twice.

TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

Old Oaken Bucket  Bing Crosby

How dear to my heart are the scenes of my childhood
When fond recollections presents them to view
the orchard, the meadow, the deep tangled wildwood,

And ev’ry loved spot which my infancy knew
The wide spreading pond, and the mill that stood by it,
The bridge and the rock where the cataract fell;
The cot of my father, the dairy house nigh it,
And e’en the rude bucket that hung in the well.

That moss covered bucket I hailed as a treasure,
For often at noon, when return’d from the field,
I found it the source of an exquisite pleasure,
The purest and sweetest that nature can yield.
How ardent I seized it, with hands that were glowing,
And quick to the white pebbled bottom it fell
Then soon, with the emblem of truth o’erflowing,
And dripping with coolness, it rose from the well.

How sweet from the green, mossy brim to receive it,
As, poised on the curb, it inclined to my lips!
Not a full blishing goblet could tempt me to leave it,
Tho’ filled with the nectar that Jupiter sips.
And now, far removed from the loved habitation,
The tear of regret will intrusively swell,
As fancy reverts to my father’s plantation,
And sighs for the bucket that hung in the well

Let’s All Go to the bar  DeerTick

I don’t care if it rains
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care if there’s a hurricane
(Let’s all go to the bar)
And I don’t care if I’m the one to blame
(Let’s all go to the bar)

Gimme, gimme, gimme, I always want more
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t wanna go to the liquor store
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I got enough at home for after last call
(Let’s all go to the bar)

I don’t care if you’re already drunk
(Let’s all go to the bar)
This is one night school that I won’t flunk
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I’m not gonna stand for being down on my luck
(Let’s all go to the bar)

Forget if you’ll regret it when the morning comes
We’ll have a heart attack, we’re having too much fun
If the cops show up we ought run, run, run
But we’ll laugh in their faces when they tell us we’re done

I don’t care if you puke in my ride
(Let’s all go to the bar)
Baby, just as long as you take your piss outside
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care what daddy says, you’re coming out tonight
(Let’s all go to the bar)

Pack of cigarettes and a fake ID
(Let’s all go to the bar)
We don’t like it baby if it don’t come cheap
(Let’s all go to the bar)

Now listen up, though, cause I don’t think you heard me!
Forget if you’ll regret it when the morning comes
We’ll have a heart attack, we’re having too much fun
If the cops show up we ought run, run, run
But we’ll laugh in their faces when they tell us we’re done

I don’t care if it rains
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care if there’s a hurricane
(Let’s all go to the bar)
I don’t care if I’m the one to blame
(Let’s all go to the bar)

Ooh La La   Faces

Poor old Granddad, I laughed at all his words
I thought he was a bitter man
He spoke of women’s ways
They’ll trap you when they use you
Before you even know
For love is blind and you’re far to kind
Don’t ever let it show

I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was stronger

The can-can such a pretty show
Will steal your heart away
But backstage back on earth again
The dressing rooms are grey
They come on strong and it ain’t too long
For they make you feel a man
But love is blind and you soon will find
You’re just a boy again

When you want her lips, you get her cheek
Makes you wonder where you are
If you want some more then she’s fast asleep
Leaves you twinkling with the stars
Poor young grandson there’s nothing I can say
You’ll have to learn, just like me
And that’s the hardest way

Ooh la la
Ooh la la, la la, yeah

I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was stronger

Wasted Days  Cloud Nothings

I know
My life’s not gonna change
And I’ll live
Through all these wasted days
Never thought
That I’d end up this way
And I know
It’s gonna stay the same.

I thought
I would
Be more
Than this.

I know
I’m losing all my time
Can’t believe
That it was all mine
Feeling sick
But I don’t know why
Getting tired
Of living till I die.


Never Miss a Beat  Kaiser Chiefs

What did you learn today?
I learned nothing
What did you do today?
I did nothing
What did you learn at school?
I didn’t go
Why didn’t you go to school?
I don’t know

It’s cool to know nothing
It’s cool to know nothing

Television’s on the blink
There’s nothing on it
I really want a really big coat
With words on it
What do you want for tea?
I want crisps
Why didn’t you join the team?
I just didn’t

It’s cool to know nothing
It’s cool to know nothing

Take a look, take a look, take a look at the
Kids on the street
No, they never miss a beat
No, they never miss a beat
Never miss a beat
Never miss a beat-beat, beat-beat
Take a look at the kids on the street
No, they never miss a beat
No, they never miss a beat
Never miss a beat
Never miss a
Never miss a beat
Never miss a beat

Here comes the referee
The light’s flashing
Best bit of the day
Now that’s living
Why don’t you run away?
Are you kidding?
What is the golden rule?
You say nothing

It’s cool to know nothing
It’s cool to know nothing

Take a look, take a look, take a look at the
Kids on the street
No, they never miss a beat
No, they never miss a beat
Never miss a beat
Never miss a beat-beat, beat-beat
Take a look at the kids on the street
No, they never miss a beat
No, they never miss a beat
Never miss a beat
Never miss a
Never miss a beat
Never miss a beat

Take a look, take a look, take a look at the
Kids on the street
No, they never miss a beat
No, they never miss a beat
Never miss a beat
Never miss a beat-beat, beat-beat
Take a look at the kids on the street
No, they never miss a beat
No, they never miss a beat
  

2 comments

  1. Cell phones . There will also be a record of those in drag , the girls in Barbie doll outfits, and the assorted dogs, swans and ducks. Hey Dad, was that really you?

  2. Cell phones . There will also be a record of those in drag , the girls in Barbie doll outfits, and the assorted dogs, swans and ducks. Hey Dad, was that really you?

Comments are closed.