FLYOVER LIVES

Walk down the street long enough and a piano will fall on your head.

Or, as a Bazooka Joe comic warned, “Live long enough, and every indignity imaginable will be visited upon you”.

Everyone out there who’s had cancer, raise your hand.

Or substitute any life threatening condition or disease of your choice. Even Covid counts, since that was very scary for a while – but the months of isolation, carry out meals with alcohol to go, and mask shaming were sorta fun.

So, while cancer seems like a ghoulish topic –and it actually is – 40% of Americans will get cancer.

My Mother would threaten me with cancer when nothing else worked:

Fine, don’t eat your vegetables, you must want cancer;

If you don’t go to Mass you’ll get cancer like all the Protestants;

Richard Nixon loves cancer, that’s why I’m voting for Kennedy.

It was a heavy load for a kid to bear: The Cold War, Global Cooling, and then cancer.

And she was right, I did get cancer. A couple of times.

Like John Wayne, I beat the Big C, but it took an organ removal for victory. The plus side? It made a yummy dip for a Super Bowl party.

And telling about the procedure during the ‘Organ Recital’ – the update on major and minor illnesses when reconnecting with friends – showered me with sympathy and a great excuse for hair loss.

But the Big C can be fun!

I had a melanoma removed, and the resultant scar was about 7 inches long (not a depth perception joke…), and very creepy.

It became “Pa’s Scar”, which I loved flashing at my grandchildren, until they boringly responded “We’ve seen that thing a hundred times”.

Flash forward… I make birthday cards for my grandchildren utilizing their favorite movie characters (Beat Hallmark out of $6, copyrights be damned!), and even made a puzzle from a family picture, which they assembled.

I blew up a picture of “Pa’s Scar”, cut it into puzzle pieces and sent it; I only wish I’d been there for the “Ooh, its Pa’s Scar!” moment.    

And I’m guessing that story will be told at my wake during the “Pa was a goofball” session. At least they have something to remember me by…

But it took a less fun turn recently, when I learned an older sister had cancer and it was touch and go.

Is there anything that puts a lump in your throat quite like Caller ID from a nephew or niece?

Fortunately she survived and appears to be in the clear.

But during the ‘flashback phase’, as we fear the loss of a loved one and search our brain for memories with them, I realized most of the moments were distantly historical.

We had kept in touch, but not deeply so. I realized I knew her, but did I really know her?

And I thought of other family members and friends who fit that description.

Our modern lives are in so many ways ‘flyover lives’, like looking out an airplane window and seeing the ground below, but missing the details that make a place a place.

An emotional response would trigger a resolution to “get to know family members/friends better, and learn what’s really going on with them”.

But like most resolutions it would look great on paper, and fall short in real life.

However, it does remind that life is short, and if you take any of this for granted, you ain’t paying attention.

So, grateful for the notice, My Captor and I are planning a trip to find out what’s really going on…

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Or just forward this to everyone you know. Forward it to those you aren’t fond of twice.

TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

Cancer   Joe Jackson

Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There’s no cure, there’s no answer
Everything gives you cancer
Don’t touch that dial
Don’t try to smile
Just take this pill
It’s in your file
Don’t work hard
Don’t play hard
Don’t plan for the graveyard
Remember
{Refrain}
Don’t work by night
Don’t sleep by day
You’ll feel all right
But you will pay
No caffeine
No protein
No booze or
Nicotine
Remember
{Refrain}
No caffeine
No protein
No booze or
Nicotine
Remember (Refrain twice)

All My Life Evan Dando

Just look for sunshine
To burn in full time
To be filled with hatred
For the time I’ve wasted
And I’m so impatient
For a new sensation

God knows what I thought I’d do
I bit my own sweet heart in two

All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
My life
I thought I wanted all the things I didn’t want at all

Just to hold my heart beat
In a box by my feet
To be filled with glory
To speak a story
Can you feel the thunder
From the cloud I’m under

God knows how will I get through
I bit my own sweet heart and blew it

All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
My life
I thought I wanted all the things I didn’t want at all
My life I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all

All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
My life I thought I wanted all the things I didn’t want at all
My life I thought I needed all the things I didn’t need at all
My life I thought I wanted all the things I didn’t want at all

Bring on the ending   Matt Pond PA

Half of all our lives are spent
Encouraged by embarrassment
We hold our heads and stay asleep and cannot hear
In case nobody called

follow the prim ones
And sit on your hands
Watch your step don’t hardly move
Speak in hushed tones
Till they bring on the ending
They bring on the ending
As we file to get outside
With all the same coats on

here it is December’s end
All our evaluations are in
The lowland’s goal
Is less than low
It’s good
So easy to have met them

August light the weightless fall
The hold of trucks
Could carry us all
The hot exhaust
The thoughtless sleep
We’d run and fall into the river

we’d meet up at night
Pretty late by the falls
Talk too fast without regret
With headlights and stars
It was brighter than the daylight
Bodies all back light
Unconscious though we’re moving
Stereo was screaming

we’ll settle for stares
Now unglide with our hands
The basement is where we will live
And stick to the crowds
Without ever speaking
We want it that easy
And don’t get caught dancing
Even if you’re drinking
Don’t get caught dancing

Love is watching someone die  Death Cab for Cutie

… And it came to me then
That every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time

… As I stared at my shoes
In the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409

… And I rationed my breaths
As I said to myself
That I’d already taken too much today

… As each descending peak
On the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

… Amongst the vending machines
And year old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye

… It sung like a violent wind
That our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds

… And I knew that you were truth
I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all

… And I looked around
At all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

… ‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous paces bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round
And everyone lifts their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said

… That love is watching someone die

… So who’s gonna watch you die
So who’s gonna watch you die
So who’s gonna watch you die

Casimir Pulaski Day   Sufjan Stevens

Two, three, four

Goldenrod and the four H stone
The things I brought you
When I found out you had cancer of the bone

Your father cried on the telephone
And he drove his car into the Navy yard
Just to prove that he was sorry

In the morning, through the window shade
When the light pressed up against your shoulder blade
I could see what you were reading

All the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications you could do without
When I kissed you on the mouth

Tuesday night at the Bible study
We lift our hands and pray over your body
But nothing ever happens

I remember at Michael’s house
In the living room when you kissed my neck
And I almost touched your blouse

In the morning, at the top of the stairs
When your father found out what we did that night
And you told me you were scared

All the glory when you ran outside
With your shirt tucked in and your shoes untied
And you told me not to follow you

Sunday night when I cleaned the house
I found the card where you wrote it out
With the pictures of your mother

On the floor at the great divide
With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied
I am crying in the bathroom

In the morning when you finally go
And the nurse runs in with her head hung low
And the cardinal hits the window

In the morning in the winter shade
On the first of March, on the holiday
I thought I saw you breathing

All the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications when I see his face
In the morning in the window

All the glory when he took our place
But he took my shoulders and he shook my face
And he takes and he takes and he takes