FATHERS OF THE BRIDE

“Father of the Bride”

Of all the things I’ve been called, one of my favorites – two of the greatest days of my life.

But who knows, with gender fluidity maybe there’ll be a few more.

Though with both daughters married, I hope to never be called that again…

But it’s fun to attend weddings and see how fathers answer the call, as we’ve done twice recently.

Odd that fathers can be ‘The Man’ on the wedding day, when the only thing they’ve done up until then is write checks – but I haven’t written a check in the last 10-15 years, maybe they’re not even doing that anymore.

Even odder when you contrast Father and Mother of the Bride.

The Mother of the Bride involved in all aspects of wedding planning: Worrying with their daughter about every tiny detail – Do we get a wedding planner? The gift bag too wide? How do we edit the Father of the Bride speech?

And everyone moving into execution phase the week of the wedding, when if something’s screwed up, it was ‘intended’.

But they clearly are ‘The Man’ on the day of the ceremony:

Hailed as the most popular guy around – paying for everyone’s food and drinks does that – but unfortunately, not a sustainable strategy.

The crowd looking forward to the moment when they walk their daughter down the aisle, and later, to the first dance.

And of course, the Father of the Bride (FOB) speech at the reception.

The paying for everything begins with the guest gift bag, delivered to the guest’s hotel – the FOB smiling politely when thanked for the goodies – making a note to check out what’s in the bag…

It moves on to ‘decisions’: Whether to serve liquor in addition to beer and wine, Which appetizers to serve, Beef, chicken or vegan naturals – all decisions which have been made prior, but giving the FOB a feeling of ‘largeness’.

The walk down the aisle an easy one, but the first dance requiring some research: Be careful, some choices pretty creepy…

And of course, the most important moment: The FOB speech at the reception.

Which provided an odd wedding contrast: I’m having trouble remembering the first FOB speech, which means he missed the memo on memorability.  

Or maybe My Captors right and I really can’t hear…

But we were on the groom’s side, didn’t ever meet the bride’s parents – but the bride’s sisters did fine toasts, so there’s that.

But the second speech was perfect: Humor, emotion, and best of all, a focus on the groom.

Which is one of those sticking points: How much of the speech should be dedicated to the groom?

I covered my sons-in-law in graphic detail, moved onto my daughters, and left each with a ‘big thought’:

“Tonight you’re the luckiest people on earth – never forget that feeling”.

“Wake up every day and remember you’re married to the most important person on earth”.

Needless to say, my friend nailed his speech, we were all suitably impressed… particularly when he labeled Boston “arrogant and overpriced”.

But both weddings were beautiful -always an honor to be included in a truly amazing ritual.

Amazing for the marrying couple, on the doorstep of their future.

Amazing for those in attendance, remembering when they were on the same doorstep.

And amazing for the father of the bride, enjoying one of the great days of his life – and one of the most bittersweet, as he walks his daughter to that doorstep and into her new life…

But in the aftermath, enjoying a week-long satisfied smile…

For 234 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on who the groom is– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

Based upon the suggestions of loyal readers from last week, I’ve added ‘Leader of the band’ by Dan Fogelberg (Ed- I think he’s correct, not John Fogerty) and ‘I’d rather be dead’ by Harry Nilsson. The 2nd first dance was to Nat King Cole, my favorite male vocalist. I’ve added ‘Stardust’, ‘L-O-V-E’ ‘Unforgettable’, ‘Smile’ and “Straighten Up and Fly Right’ to the BATN playlist.