FATHER OF THE BRIDE

“Father of the Bride”

Of all the things I’ll be called, that will be my favorite – two of the greatest days of my life.

And who knows, with gender fluidity maybe there will be a few more.

It embodies the pride you feel as your Daughter enters the next chapter of her life. And since none of my sons read this post, I can admit that father-daughter relationships are incredibly special. 

It also embodies the pride you feel as you host a bitchin’ party (hopefully that term is still in use) and the wedding your daughter always wanted. And for one night you are the most popular guy around – paying for everyone’s drinks and food not being a sustainable strategy.

And the icing on the champagne (hopefully that term is still in use) is adding a loved son-in-law to the family.

But your status fades immediately after the wedding, as I was reminded at lunch the following day, when the last daily special – my favorite soup – ran out with the previous customer’s order. Common citizen again…

But I have to admit, I may have made our daughter’s potential suitors nervous. I didn’t say much, grunting frequently as a conversation device. One daughter had been dating a boy for 3 months before he knew I spoke English.  And when they tried to impress me by asking if there was anything I needed, I told them to mow the lawn.

But the most persistent endured my luddite behavior, the background check and forensic accounting review, and the earnest money requirement, to ask me for her hand. Choking back “I’ll get back to you”, I said yes.

All this came rushing back when we attended a destination wedding this past weekend, our 6^th of the 11 to which we were invited.

Full reveal, we have missed 2 of the 11, one for double booking, and the other due to the Portuguese destination.

Which of the double books to choose was a close call, but the gift bag including a Hundo and 2 chili cheese dogs, and a polka band at the reception, made the decision. And while their “black tie preferred” dress code just wasn’t my style, I got even by going commando.

A little known personal fact is my love of Polka music, as evidenced by my Eddie Blazonczyk tattoo. It is a tragedy that wedding bands never feature the accordion -or upright bass – and I am hoping the recently passed infrastructure bill will address their employment crisis.

Portugal was a scratch because we were nervous about looking at Maria da Silva paintings for 10 days – too derivative of Goya, further demonstration of their ‘Spanish envy’ – and the Paella leis they drape around your neck at the airport, which would have irritated my shellfish allergies. Oh, and the Corona surge.

But the recent wedding was beautiful, and a blast. The Father of the Bride gave a moving toast, the food and beverages were top shelf, and free.

I mention the free thing only because a recent wedding was underfunded, and featured a number of money raising efforts: a cash wing bar, kissing booth (the bride and her wedding party offered reasonable hourly rates), and a bride dunking tub.

 ‘Souvenir’ pint glasses featuring the bride and groom were for sale, but expensive, so we settled for the solo cups with their faces drawn with Sharpies.

And a fireworks display cost too much, so the guests were given sparklers and asked to run in circles on the lawn.

But no matter the style, size or cost of the wedding, it is an honor to be included in a truly amazing ritual.

Amazing for the marrying couple, who are on the doorstep of their future together.

Amazing for those in attendance, who remember when they were on the same doorstep, or imagine when they will be.

And amazing for the father of the bride, enjoying one of the great days of his life – and one of the most bittersweet, as he walks his daughter to that doorstep and into her new life…

For 74 more posts like this – many of which are loved by Fathers of the Bride – go to beersatthenifty.com

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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

Beer Barrel Polka  Liberace

“There’s a garden, what a garden, Only happy faces bloom there
And there’s never any room there, For a worry or a gloom there

Oh there’s music and there’s dancin’, And a lot of sweet romancin’
When they play the polka, They all get in the swing

Every time they hear that oom-pa-pa, Everybody feels so tra-la-la
They want to throw their cares away,And (Polish) ”Loopde shpay devashteva”

Then they hear a rumble on the floor,It’s the big surprise they’re waitin’ for
And all the couples form a ring, Und miles around you’ll hear them sing

Roll out the barrel, we’ll have a barrel of fun,

Roll out the barrel, we’ve got the blues on the run
Sing boom tararrei, sing out a song of good cheer
Now’s the time to roll a barrel, cause the gang’s all here”

Wedding Bell Blues  Morrissey (written by Laura Nyro)

“Oh Bill
I love you so, I always will
I look at you and I see the passion eyes of May
Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day
Oh, I was on your side, Bill, when you were losing
I’d never scheme or lie, Bill, there’d be no fooling
But kisses and love won’t carry me ’til you marry me, Bill

I love you so, I always will
And in your voice I hear a choir of carousels (carousels)
Oh, but am I ever gonna hear my wedding bells
I was the one who came running when you were lonely (when you were lonely)
I have not lived one day not loving you only (loving you only)
But kisses and love won’t carry me until you marry me, Bill

I love you so, I always will
And, though devotion rules my heart, I take no bows (take no vows)
Oh, but am I ever gonna make those wedding vows?
Oh, come on Bill (come on Bill)”

I knew the bride (when she used to rock and roll)  Dave Edmunds

“Well, the bride looked a picture in the gown that her mama wore
When she was married herself nearly twenty-seven years before
She had to change the style a little but it looked just fine
They stayed up all night, but they got it finished just in time

Now on the arm of her daddy, she’s a-walkin’ down the aisle
And she catches my eye and she gives me a secret smile
Maybe it’s too old-fashioned, but we once were close friends
Oh but the way that she looks today, she never could have then.

Well I can see her now in the tight blue jeans
Pumpin’ all the money in the record machine
Spinnin’ like a top, you shoulda seen her go
I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll

Now her proud daddy only wanna give his little girl the best
And so he put down a grand on a cozy little lover’s nest
You could’ve called the reception an unqualified success
At a flash hotel for a hundred and fifty guests

Take a look at the bridegroom smilin’ pleased as pie
Shakin’ hands all around with a glassy look in his eye
He got a real good job and his shirt and tie is nice
But I remember a time when she would never even look him twice

But I can see her now drinkin’ with the boys
Breakin’ their hearts like they were toys
She used to do the pony, she used to do the stroll
I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll

Well I can see her now with her headphones on
Jumpin’ up and down to her favorite song
I still remember when she used to wanna make a lot of noise
Hoppin’ and boppin’ with the street corner boys
She used to love to party, she used to love to go
I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll”

The Luckiest  Ben Folds

“I don’t get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls, Brought me here

And where was I before the day, That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday, And I know

That I am, I am
I am, The luckiest

What if I’d been born 50 years before you, In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes,I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am, I am
I am, The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there’s an old man who lived to his 90’s
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days, And passed away

I’m sorry, I know that’s a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am, I am
I am, The luckiest”

Wedding Bells  Hank Williams

We got an awful sad story to start things with this morning
Oh, it ain’t gon’ make us cry?
No, it’s a pretty song, Oh, well alright
One of the best song I ever had
I’s fix and say I bet you I know who wrote it
No, I didn’t write this one but it was awful kind to me (alright haha)
One of the top records in 1950, A little tune that we recorded called, “Wedding Bells Will Never Ring For me”

I have the invitation that you sent me,You wanted me to see you change your name
I couldn’t stand to see you wed another, But dear, I hope you’re happy just the same

Wedding bells are ringing in the chapel, That should be ringing out for you and me
And down the aisle with someone else you’re walking
Those wedding bells will never ring for me

I planned a little cottage in the valley, I even bought a little band of gold
For I thought some day I’d place it on your finger, But now the future looks so dark and cold

Wedding bells are ringing in the chapel, I hear the children laughing out with glee
At home alone, I bow my head in sorrow, For wedding bells will never ring for me

I fancy that I see a bunch of roses, A blossom from an orange tree in your hair
And while the organ plays ‘I Love You Truly’, Please let me pretend that I am there

For wedding bells are ringing in the chapel, Ever since the day you set me free
I knew someday that you would wed another, But wedding bells will never ring for me

There you have it, “Wedding Bells Will Never Ring For me””

Jackson  June Carter Cash and Johnny Cash

“We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,
We’ve been talkin’ ’bout Jackson, Ever since the fire went out.
I’m goin’ to Jackson, I’m gonna mess around, Yeah, I’m goin’ to Jackson,
Look out Jackson town.

Well, go on down to Jackson; go ahead and wreck your health.
Go play your hand you big-talkin’ man, make a big fool of yourself,
Yeah, go to Jackson; go comb your hair!

Honey, I’m gonna snowball Jackson.

See if I care.

When I breeze into that city, people gonna stoop and bow. (Hah!)
All them women gonna make me, teach ’em what they don’t know how,
I’m goin’ to Jackson, you turn-a loosen my coat.
‘Cos I’m goin’ to Jackson.

“Goodbye, ” that’s all she wrote.

But they’ll laugh at you in Jackson, and I’ll be dancin’ on a Pony Keg.
They’ll lead you ’round town like a scalded hound,
With your tail tucked between your legs,
Yeah, go to Jackson, you big-talkin’ man.
And I’ll be waitin’ in Jackson, behind my Jaypan Fan.

Well now, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,
We’ve been talkin’ ’bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out.
I’m goin’ to Jackson, and that’s a fact.
Yeah, we’re goin’ to Jackson, ain’t never comin’ back.

Well, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout
We’ve been talkin’ ’bout Jackson
Ever since the fire went out…”