FAMILY, TAKE TWO

Just like it was yesterday.

My Captor’s sisters spent a long weekend with us recently, the trio immediately picking up where they left off.

Conversations and laughter still bouncing off the walls.

Amazing to watch family be family – good or bad.

And this was definitely good – relaxing and comfortable.

Our guests tending to leave “relaxing and comfortable” on their verbal comment cards – and while that’s one part beach walking, it’s an even bigger part My Captor in ‘Hostess with the Mostest’ mode.

Whoever guests, there’s baked goods, lunches and dinners waiting for them, and since we’re in round 2 of hosting, all of my Dry January benefits have returned to my waist.

Welcome back forsaken calories – and they even brought friends! A minor sacrifice for family and friends…

But inspiring to watch things done well, and ‘My Captor The Hostess’ is exactly that.

But the sister visit timing was ironic -and since I was briefly confused and thought today was DST (that post sprang ahead) – how about some more thoughts on what makes kids kids and families families?

And while previously discussed birth order is a big factor, quantity and spacing matter as well.

We had 6 children – a family that would swing a local election, a line from my dentist, his fist halfway down my throat, foot ‘gently’ on my shoulder – and I think that made us better parents.

But we weren’t soliciting feedback.

Though I fear our children didn’t appreciate ‘large family benefits’: the ‘one activity at a time’ limit, unisex hand-me-downs, and being regularly called the wrong name.

There were 5 under the age of 6 – a 4 year gap until the youngest, a product of the 1990 TV writer’s strike when only re-runs aired – and half the fun of dinner out was watching the other diners count as we walked by.

Eventually, the server asking “One marriage?” relaying our answer to the other patrons.

Sometimes returning with more ‘provocative’ patron questions: Catholic? Any Irish Twins? Favorite positions? I’d confess I’d wanted to be a center fielder.

And when missing a few we didn’t get the same buzz, so I’d fake a choking emergency, or ‘forget’ to wear pants, which got people talking.

A parental litmus test was being able to go out for dinner without the fire department or CPS being called, or having to use chair restraints.

Or other parenting methods now banned in most states.

These were pre-tablet days, so we depended upon conversation (kids, ask your parents) – or better yet, a Braves game on the restaurant television, which is kind of a big tablet.

And I believe our kids were happy being part of a big family, but when we told the first 5 we were expecting, the oldest replied “Don’t you think there’s enough of us already?”

 But spacing might be the bigger factor.

Often, one family can be multiple families: My older siblings 4-10 years older, so I didn’t really know them until we were adults. I was 4 years older than my younger brother, but we bonded over his willingness to do my chores. Until he was bigger than me…  

But we can all call up those multi-family families, not always really knowing each other – time and distance not making that better.

And while I know even the best of families can be dysfunctional, it is inspiring to see family done well – particularly when it really matters.

Happening in our family recently during an episode of sibling turmoil, with bonding and passionate support the immediate response.  

Is there any better feeling than knowing your family will be there when you really need them?

For 217 more posts like this –each written an hour from now– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:

Artist of the week: Justin Townes Earle (1982-2020, fentanyl laced cocaine OD) son of Steve Earle, style Alt-Country. Great rock line: “I’m no fool Mama, I know the difference between tempting and choosing my fate.” Added to the BATN playlist: ‘Harlem River Blues’ ‘Maybe a Moment’ ‘Frightened By the Sound’ ‘Flint City Shake It’