Protest briefly, then say thank you.
The first rule of being hosted and/or entertained.
Which we learned – and applied – the last couple of weeks on our ‘Tour of New England’.
The trip’s catalyst a close friend’s daughter’s wedding in Manchester, NH, preceded by stays with friends and family in various suburbs of Boston, and reconnecting with long ago friends.
We learned a lot along the way…
The first lesson: Hospitality is fun to watch.
We spent 3 days at each stop: friends/family/friends, which seemed to be the magic number.
There’s an old expression about guests and fish – unless its one of those 3 eyed fish we saw near the nuclear power plant – and while I’m not great at picking up signals about overstaying …
… we never found our packed bags in the rental car.
Our hosts were overly prepared, seemingly happy to see us, but most importantly, excited to share their slice of the world with us. Maybe enjoying themselves more than us…
The next lesson Guest Prep 101: The fewer expectations you have, less chance you’ll be disappointed.
Morning coffee, daily walk, the occasional fun fact about whatever we’re walking past – we’re good with ‘whatever’.
And I’m OK with nodding along to the local ‘fact’oids shared – even if it is clearly wrong, or contradicted by the nearby historical marker.
‘Fictitious Factoids’ actually one of my hosting specialties – when facing skepticism, replying “I wasn’t prepared for follow-up questions” to move the conversation along…
The only dashed expectation my goal of a bucket of steamers and a cold beer, though the cold beer part thoroughly covered. Steamers. Next. Time.
As a general rule, guests are fine with ‘whatever’ – it’s the catching up that matters.
And Guest Prep 102: Express gratitude. Often. People/Hosts love being recognized/thanked. Even easier when you don’t expect much in the first place.
The third thing confusion.
With new hosts every three days, it was hard to keep track of what we’d said or shared, which meant 11% of our conversations involved a form of “I know, you already said that”.
But it felt like being a band on tour – working out which story or anecdote was best-received, and embellishing at the next stop.
And dropping hints about what the previous hosts had done well…
Though the veiled “Bad review on the Guest Comment Card” threat didn’t work so well, as we were reminded of ‘Host Comment Cards’.
But we found mints on our pillow one night…
Reminded of regional differences: New England an old, odd place. Lots of stone walls, home fries and ‘even weirder than Southern drawl’ accents.
And if everything ‘opens up’ on Memorial Day, where do locals hide after Labor Day?
Town signs warned of “Thickly settled areas”, making me feel at home – like when I’m with dense populations.
But a minor disappointment – never once flipped off in traffic, a definite Boston tradition.
A big friendship lesson, which My Captor’s better at than me – she even sent baked goods a thank you – in advance.
I do a poor job of keeping in touch – I don’t owe money or anything, just not good at it – but I reached out to Coke and college friends, had a splendid time reconnecting.
So splendid, ‘Keeping In Touch’ my Hurricane Season Resolution – made easier by the concerned ‘wellness check’ calls we’ll get.
But wellness checks go both ways:
Our final lesson/reminder: Nice when nice happens to nice.
Everyone we visited seemed to be living their best life, making our visit(s) more satisfying.
Visiting loved ones great – but so refreshing waking up in one’s own bed…
For 231 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on where to get steamers– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.
And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:
The song ‘Danke Schoen’ expresses our hearty gratitude for our hosts. And it was a fun moment in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off in the parade scene, so there’s that. Wayne Newton is known as Mr. Las Vegas and has been performing there for 60+ years. So there’s also that. I’ve added it to the BATN playlist, along with Blue Merle’s ‘Burning in the Sun’, and ‘If I could’, weirdly sounding just like Coldplay. But the album (2005) is also quite nice. Thought you might enjoy…
Unfortunately, I must apologize for the addition of Danke Schoen – apparently Justice Alito’s wife is a Wayne Newton fan, and the NYT (aka The Greasy Lady) has learned that the song was Hitler’s rally walk-in music, and associated with totalitarianism. All I’ve got, Not prepared for follow-up questions.