Big bang theory or evolution?
My Captor is a Big Bang proponent, because she likes to get things done now.
I’m an evolution guy because I like to take my time. I worked on a home renovation project for months, before I finally called a handy man to come finish it.
And Evolution just feels ‘manly’:
Prehistoric tails fell away, replaced by mullets.
Prehistoric man etched hieroglyphic figures on cave walls, replaced by anonymous death threats on Twitter.
Prehistoric man grilled brontosaurus meat over an open flame, modern man grills meat in packs (generally 3 or more) on a Weber – while drinking beer.
Maybe evolution has its upside.
Regardless of how we got here, adaptation: What we learn to live with – and without, is essential.
Life is a series of course corrections.
Humans are a generally resourceful and intuitive bunch, excepting the occasional visitor from Mississippi dealing with our roundabouts, who adapt to changing conditions – on the fly, to both major and minor changes.
I was reminded of that at our recent ‘CousinFest’, where 5 of our grandchildren were visiting; the oldest, who has always been the ‘Alpha Cousin’, was absent due to a baseball commitment. His younger brother assumed his Alpha role for the weekend, rallying his younger cousins and taking a ‘guardian’ role for the new baby.
In many ways he was kinder and gentler, as he only took 10% of the other cousin’s treats at the beach, as opposed to the standard 20.
But he adapted on the fly and became the leader.
Older folks learn on a daily basis that physical changes require course corrections, as body parts wear out, and some need to be replaced. And the rest don’t work the way we’d like – “just like kids today!” (shakes fist angrily)
My hip became an issue for my beach walk, and a doctor’s visit indicated it was “not structural, but some form of –itis, maybe arthritis, bursitis, tendinitis, or gingivitis”. Though there really wasn’t much he could do for me – other than the 20% discount for paying my bill with Crypto – he gave me some helpful exercises and helped me with Wordle.
I have adapted to the pain by doing my daily beach walk on my hands.
Even corporations pride themselves on being ‘strategically adaptive’. But focus on ‘strategery’ can lead to overthinking: If the Coca-Cola Co. had been a football team, 8 players in the huddle would have been involved in redesigning the football.
Unfortunately, it appears today’s Corporate adaptativeness is focused on reducing quantities; each time I buy coffee there is less and less inside a smaller and smaller package. I opened an empty canister today, which works out because I’ve been trying to cut down on caffeine. But there were pictures of groups of men drinking coffee around a grill, so there’s that then.
But we also learn to live without, which brings me to just about the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.
At the height of the Romanian refugee crisis, a visitor to an orphanage packed with babies wondered why it was so quiet. He was told that the babies had learned that “no one was coming, so they had stopped crying.”
And this week’s post is the result when one has to adapt to a week with a house full of visitors, Saturday afternoon rolled around and tomorrow was Sunday yet again.
So if some of the foregoing didn’t work, it was dictated by a 5 year old and edited by a 2 year old.
And later today, they’re going to help me grill…
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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
The New Year Death Cab for Cutie
So this is the new year, And I don’t feel any different
The clanking of crystal, Explosions off in the distance (in the distance)
So this is the new year, And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance, For problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let’s make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There’d be no distance that can hold us back
There’d be no distance that could hold us back
There’d be no distance that could hold us back
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
Wasted Days Cloud Nothings
I know
My life’s not gonna change
And I’ll live
Through all these wasted days
Never thought
That I’d end up this way
And I know
It’s gonna stay the same.
I thought
I would
Be more
Than this.
I know
I’m losing all my time
Can’t believe
That it was all mine
Feeling sick
But I don’t know why
Getting tired
Of living till I die.
Monkey to Man Elvis Costello
A long time ago, our point of view
Was broadcast by Mr. Bartholomew
And now the world is full of sorrow and pain
And it’s time for us to speak up again
You’re slack and sorry, Such an arrogant brood
The only purpose you serve is to bring us our food
We sit here staring at your pomp and pout
Outside the bars we use for keeping you out
You’ve taken everything that you wanted
Broke it up and plundered it and hunted
Ever since we said it, You went and took the credit
It’s been headed this way since the world began
When a vicious creature took the jump from Monkey to man
Monkey to man
Every time man struggles and fails, He makes up some kind of fairy tales
After all of the misery that he has caused, He denies he’s descended from the dinosaurs
Points up to heaven with cathedral spires, All the time indulging in his base desires
Ever since we said it, He went and took the credit
It’s been headed this way since the world began
When a vicious creature took the jump from monkey to man
Monkey to man
Big and useless as he has become
With his crying statues and his flying bomb
Goes ’round acting like the chosen one
Excuse us if we treat him like our idiot cousin
He hangs up flowers and bells and rhymes
Hoping to hell someone’s forgiven his crimes
Fills up the air with his pride and praise
He’s a big disgrace to our beastly ways
In the fashionable nightclubs and finer precincts
Man uses words to dress up his vile instincts
Ever since we said it, He went and took the credit
It’s been headed this way since the world began
When a vicious creature took the jump from monkey to man
Evolution Cat Power
Better call all the ships, They been caught sailing
Better call the captain, He’s been caught stealing
Better call the porter man, He’s been caught leaving
Better call all the guys on the deck, They been caught with no feeling
Better call the fisherman, ‘Cause they’re coming on land
Better call the head nurse, To wrap us up and throw us in the dirt
Better call with some resistance, Better way to feel no shame
Better call with some persistence, Better way to feel nothing at all
Better call on evolution, Better way to make a revolution
Better make your mind up quick
Better call on evolution
Better way to make a revolution
Better make your mind up quick
The Great Leap Forward Billy Bragg
It may have been Camelot for Jack and Jacqueline
But on the Che Guevara highway filling up with gasoline
Fidel Castro’s brother spies a rich lady who’s crying
Over luxury’s disappointment so he walks over and he’s trying
To sympathise with her, but he thinks that he should warn her
That the Third World is just around the corner
In the Soviet Union, a scientist is blinded
By the resumption of nuclear testing and he is reminded
That Dr Robert Oppenheimer’s optimism fell, At the first hurdle
In the Cheese Pavilion and the only noise I hear
Is the sound of someone stacking chairs and mopping up spilt beer
And someone asking questions and basking in the light
Of the 15 fame-filled minutes of the fanzine writer
Mixing pop and politics, he asks me, what the use is?
I offer him embarrassment and my usual excuses
While looking down the corridor out to where the van is waiting
I’m looking for the Great Leap Forwards
Jumbo sales are organised and pamphlets have been posted
Even after closing time there’s still parties to be hosted
You can be active with the activists or sleep in with the sleepers
While you’re waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
One leap forward, two leaps back
Will politics get me the sack?
Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
Well, here comes the future and you can’t run from it
If you’ve got a blacklist I want to be on it
Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
It’s a mighty long way down rock ‘n roll
From Top of the Pops to drawing the dole
Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
If no one seems to understand
You, start your own revolution and cut out the middleman
Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
In a perfect world we’d all sing in tune
But this is reality so give me some room
Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
So join the struggle while you may
The Revolution is just a T-shirt away
Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
Fish and Whistle John Prine
I been thinking lately
About the people I meet
The carwash on the corner
And the hole in the street
The way my ankles hurt
With shoes on my feet
And I’m wondering
If I’m gonna see tomorrow.
Father forgive us
For what we must do
You forgive us
We’ll forgive you
We’ll forgive each other
Till we both turn blue
Then we’ll whistle and go fishing
In heaven.
I was in the army
But I never dug a trench
I used to bust my knuckles
On a monkey wrench
Then I’d go to town and drink
And give the girls a pinch
But I don’t think
They ever even noticed me.
Fish and whistle
Whistle and fish
Eat everything
That they put on your dish
And when we get through
We’ll make a big wish
That we never have
To do this again
Again? again????
On my very first job
I said thank you and please
They made me scrub a parking lot
Down on my knees
Then I got fired
For being scared of bees
And they only give me
Fifty cents an hour.