Give a penny, take a penny.
Customer Convenience or Moral Imperative?
And what if it were give a thousand, take a thousand?
We intend to do the right thing, even when no one’s looking.
But sometimes it’s the ‘right’ thing, with an explanation…
The lucky among us saw ‘doing the right thing’ modeled by our parents, teachers, friends, strangers – even as the world provided ample ‘wrong thing programming’.
But as parents, being a role model can be frustrating: children learning from what we do, not say.
I recollect my Father as an ‘honest role model’ – he never shorted my allowance.
The right thing can be complicated.
In a 5th grade moment, I said something ‘defiant’ to my teacher – Sr. Mary Whoopass – believing myself completely wronged when she sent a disciplinary note home, and being forced to apologize the next day. One of the longest nights of my life – the lessons we internalize! And a long delayed thanks to my parents…
Or the time our high school track team ‘won’ a meet, but our coach recounted and informed our opponents they’d actually won. Would I remember the result if not for that moment?
But I also remember trips to the store with my Dad, where we’d eat a few candies from the bulk candy bin, and move along quickly. Recently, I ate 42 wings from the Winn-Dixie wing bar before the manager chased me away – careful the lessons you internalize! A new PB!
Speaking of “no one’s looking”, after the recent ‘daughters weekend’ the resort charge appeared on-line as ‘pending’. And then disappeared. Had they lost the charge?
It presented an ethical dilemma – should I call the resort? Was I in track meet or bulk candy mode?
Fortunately, the receipt appeared. Just moments before I called the resort…
Ethical dilemmas abound.
What if the checker doesn’t notice the items on the bottom of the cart? My uncle’s top basket was always empty. What if they don’t ask “How many donuts in a baker’s dozen”? Or wonder why you’ve presented 47 coupons at the 10 items or less station?
Honestly, I believe my children think I’m honest – I gave them their savings bonds and full allowances – but there are considerations:
Whenever the library notified us of overdue book(s), we’d bring them back, the alarm buzzing upon entry, but we’d keep moving. I’d then bring the book to the librarian “It said this book was overdue, but I found it on the shelf.”
More convincing with one book than six, but still: Us 2 cents, The Man 0. Return methods aside, we never lost a book…
Did my children internalize that as a wrong in the service of right? Guilty with an explanation?
Whenever I’d play Old Maid with my daughter I’d let her win – sorry Emily, you shouldn’t have joined the Old Maid tour – another wrong in the service of right?
It’s complicated: We lack Water Cronkite’s voice of authority, honor systems are being dismantled, and with security cameras watching our every move, people still can’t be trusted to do the right thing.
And we justify our (mis)behavior, resorting to ‘whataboutism’: You think that’s bad, whatabout…
Guilty with an in-your face explanation: Your wrong makes my wrong right!
So, if we take a penny but don’t give a penny, what have we become?
For better or worse – no matter what goes on around us, or to us – we can only control our own behavior.
As Will Rogers said: “I’d rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge, than the one who sold it”.
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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENTOF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING MISCELLANY:
Will Rogers was a vaudevillian and the author of some hilarious and insightful quotes. Another favorite is “I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car”.
The Brooklyn Bridge connects Brooklyn to Manhattan, viewed historically as the pathway of opportunity to Manhattan, and the linkage of Italian and American cultures. It was the first suspension bridge built with steel cables, in 1869.
As to music, Frank Sinatra’s “Brooklyn Bridge” and the Stroke’s “Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus” are really fun – and topical. Find your own damn lyrics.
And a shout out to James, one of my all-time favorite bosses, who loved when I used the BB quote (I believe). Hope you and Kim are well.
Good points. In this age of relativism we no longer look at the finer details of morality. Now it’s legal to abscond with a whole lot of pennies before it’s considered a crime. The issue being the legality, not the morality. Progress ?
Sister Whoopass had quite the reputation. Even I , a non papist , had heard the stories and sat up straighter. With my hands tucked tightly in my lap. Now she would be hauled into court accused of child abuse.
Great read as always. Can’t imagine the number of times I use the Brooklyn Bridge as an example of character