Life is full of secrets, good and bad.
But some secrets – and the way they are preserved – are beautiful secrets.
And the most beautiful secret of all is Santa Claus.
Our oldest grandchild is 9, and I wonder if he still believes.
Of course I can’t ask him, but he is at the age where common sense – or older/meaner kids – prevails and they figure it out.
But I know that even if he no longer believes, he won’t share that with his younger siblings.
The beautiful secret will be safe with him. Just like centuries of children before him.
Part of the reason is “risk avoidance”. When that first glimmer of doubt appears – “It has to be Mom and Dad” – they keep it to themselves for fear the gifts won’t show if they’re wrong…
Part of it is “being in the know” on a grown-up secret. He is still of the age that believes adults have some grand plan for a better world – he’ll learn that ‘bad secret’ later – and it’s cool to be in on it.
Part of it is respect for the experience: the innate recognition that the anticipation of Christmas is almost (almost) better than the gifts, and the need to save that feeling for the ‘un-knowing’. Our daughter received an in-school suspension for ‘taking down’ the 3rd grader who was spoiling it for everyone.
I flashed back to the Sears catalog as I wrote this, which was our anticipation cornerstone, way back during the Eisenhower administration. I remember like it was yesterday, as it was also the last time I rode a bike…
We excitedly checked the mail for its arrival. If it were delayed, that was a real existential crisis. Once received, my siblings and I alternated studying the toy section, circling our selections. The wish list was shared with our parents (merely on an FYI basis), included in our Letter to Santa, and shared again when we saw him at the mall. He nodded knowingly, indicating he had read our letters.
We then hoped for the best – and most – on Christmas morning.
As an aside, anyone under the age of 40 may be shocked to learn that we were excited to receive mail (did my decoder ring arrive?), it didn’t all come in brown boxes, the largest retailer was Sears, their catalog weighed 30+ pounds, and we wrote letters. And we hoped for the best, as opposed to demanding.
Part of it is he lacks a hardened exterior, and hasn’t yet learned the thrill of ruining other people’s fun. He remains a “nice kid” and I’m enough of an optimist to believe he will remain so. Wish him luck…
But even so, he will need to learn to duck on occasion.
But a big part of it is he retains his childhood sense of wonder. The Christmas season is an amazing time, and the delicious anticipation might be the best part.
And while adults feel all of that in their ‘adult way’, it is nothing compared to the season experienced through a child’s eyes.
Remember?
But so much of our anticipation is the commercial and family togetherness side of the Holiday, which is great, but misses the point.
I can’t say it any better than Linus did, reminding us of the “reason for the season”.
Even 8 year old me would have circled “gratitude and renewal” in the Sears catalog, as the best gift we can give ourselves.
Merry Christmas!
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TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
Too Many Secrets Patsy Cline
Last night I met a woman, You’ll recognize her name
Who, in our conversation, Told me you were her old flame
Well, I didn’t want to listen, But as she told me more
I learned, More about you, Than I’d ever known before
(You’re keepin’) too many secrets from me
But, baby, Now I’m wise to you
You’ll fool me like the others, And I know what you’ll do
You’ll find yourself, A new love
And keep me a secret, too
Long Black Veil Johnny Cash
Ten years ago, on a cold dark night
Someone was killed, ‘neath the town hall light
There were few at the scene, but they all agreed
That the slayer who ran, looked a lot like me
The judge said son, what is your alibi
If you were somewhere else, then you won’t have to die
I spoke not a word, though it meant my life
For I’d been in the arms of my best friend’s wife
Oh, the scaffold is high and eternity’s near
She stood in the crowd and shed not a tear
But late at night, when the north wind blows
In a long black veil, she cries over my bones
She walks these hills in a long black veil
She visits my grave when the night winds wail
Nobody knows, nobody sees
Nobody knows but me
Bobby Peru Luna
I told lies to your family, Concerning your whereabouts
They feel so sorry for me
I invented jealous stories, My imagination ran wild
I made myself so angry, The night that you insulted me
I lay awake thinking, Clever things I could have said
My thoughts kept turning to Bobby Peru
How would he handle this one
‘S’ is for sorry for all that I did, Now is the time to turn it all around
I know what is the matter so why can’t I fix it
Forgive me please
I had lunch with an old girlfriend, Who knows all my faults
And pretends to want to help
She said I really don’t mind, Your keeping secrets from me
But please don’t keep them from yourself
Murder is bad, and suicide is sad
Why would a girl like that put her head in the oven?
You have your theories, and I got one too
It’s such a waste
(In my) Wildest Dreams The Jayhawks
When you had a brief encounter, With your fortune and your fame
Well, I stood beside and watched the fans that followed
I saw you from a distance, And I heard them call your name
But you winked at me as if to say, I’m sorry
Yeah, you winked at me as if to say, I’m sorry
In my wildest dreams, In my wildest dreams
The more I get to know you, The less that I admire
I fade as the unholy light surrounds you
Well, I’m mystified you got so high, You had so far to fall
What you don’t own you beg, you steal, you borrow
I never felt this close to you, I never will again
As you gaze at me from on your ivory tower
You’re pretending to be happy
You’re pretending to be free
As you watch the minutes slowly turn to hours
In my wildest dreams
Charlie Brown: Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?
Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.
[moves toward the center of the stage]
Linus Van Pelt: Lights, please.
[a spotlight shines on Linus]
Linus Van Pelt: “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not:”
[Linus drops his security blanket on purpose]
Linus Van Pelt: “for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'”
Linus Van Pelt: [Linus picks up his blanket and walks back towards Charlie Brown] That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.