BAMBOO STEAMER

My Captor had a birthday yesterday. A big one, a zero ender – a hint, less than 100…

Our sister-in-law, Polly, also had a birthday this week. A big one, also a zero ender. Matching My Captor, less than 100.

Polly married to My Captor’s oldest brother, their birthdays 3 days apart, and we’ve been lucky to celebrate the last 4 ‘zero-enders’ with them – each different, each a blast.

They were our neighbors during our brief stop in Plano, our families remaining very close. With a daughter in St. Pete, our home a logical stop from St. Charles, LA, the express purpose a B-day extravaganza!!!

But first, a learned birthday lesson: Preparation critical – The Bamboo Steamer moment.

I’d been in Memphis to FedEx 30,000 six packs of Diet Coke with NutraSweet – then a new and initially rare ingredient – to give retailers the impression we had it first.

It involved hiring a temporary crew to box the DKO – the temp with the most teeth named foreman – ultimately, a success.

Until I returned home on My Captor’s birthday. A frustrating shopping trip with the only ‘find’ a Bamboo Steamer.

Don’t know what it looked like – it never leaving the box.

And while never a boy scout – couldn’t pass the psych exam – I’ve been prepared ever since.   

The zeros:

1995: A long ATL weekend, with a fun birthday dinner. Among other diversions.

A good time had by all, tradition begun…

2005: Polly’s joke: I thought you said the Grand Caymans! while hiking the Grand Canyon. Down the South Rim on Saturday, an evening at Canyon Ranch, up on Sunday, the switch backs at the end eternal.

Recollections include:                                       

The burro riders looking terrified;

The Canyon Ranch having two dinner sessions: the first steak, the second beef stew – reminding of the 4^th beef dish of the week in the college cafeteria – to finish the beef;

The ‘cantina’ re-opening for happy hour after dinner, but everyone too tired to attend – at 8:00P;

The group admitting in unison they didn’t sleep Saturday evening, each praying “Please God, let me hike out of here alive.”  

Riding on Route 66, fulfilling a bucket list item. Nat Cole’s version seminal.

A great time…

2015: The best of them all, a week in Ireland, with their daughter in tow – she the ‘eyes’, who could read the confusing road signs quickly.

I the navigator, averting two near-death turns into oncoming traffic, saving us for evenings of Irish music and Guiness. The latter available on tap everywhere: Pharmacies, Churches, Phone Booths…

And looking for relatives everywhere, asking passers-by “Are you my family?”

Upon departure, when asked at Customs “Anything to declare?”, I admitted I liked Sinead O’ Connor.

Back to today (time screen fog disappears), after dinner and lunch out, and My Captor’s carrot cake, they departed, we headed to Charlotte.

Where the entire family gathered to surprise My Captor! Are you 63, 64, 65… she not knowing Peter, Ella, Luke, Henry and Charlie, also arriving – each shuffling in on Friday night!!

And the biggest surprise: Her sister Martha arriving from Chicago!   

A blast! We even brought oysters, and boy, were they surprised when they were shucked!

And an Italian Cream cake, with a birthday reminder: Emily a prep monster. Thanks!

My Captor’s ‘Christmas adjacent’ birthday, frequently adjacent-ed with Christmas during her childhood, an unfortunate memory that.

We’ve never given her a Christmas themed gift for her birthday – well, not twice anyway – but another birthday lesson:

Christmas the season for family connections – and no offense to the South Rim and Ireland, the best birthdays those celebrated with family.

Learned once again on a magical weekend in Charlotte…

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